Who: Jump Little Children • Tinkers Punishment
Holly and I became friends last year when I saw her walking around the hallway of our dorm at OSU wearing the most beautiful coat in the entire world. It was this calf-length vintage camel-coloured faux-fur piece, and no one could have looked better in it. Despite having lived on her floor for a few months, I had never seen Holly but didn’t hesitate to compliment her. Over games of Dr. Mario in her room, we learned that we had a lot in common—a dislike of girly-girls, a love of thrifting, and a complete inability to function on the base level of some of our roommates.
Holly is to be my roommate next year, so in an effort to introduce her to the concert-frequenting that is my life, I invited her to Tennessee with me this weekend for some Jump, Little Children. It was to be my first real Southern rock show, and I was to share it with some of my favourite Jump fans—Valerie and her fiancé, Elias, from Tennessee; Michael and his girlfriend, Jerry, from Georgia; and Dave and his girlfriend, Janel, also from Georgia. Holly had heard exactly one Jump song—“Cathedrals”—since agreeing to accompany me, so we tried out the album Magazine on the trip down so that I could explain to her the differences between Matt and Jay songs and Jay and Evan lyrics. Holly was immediately taken with the song “Body Parts” as I had been upon my first listen to Jump, so I painted her a picture of Matt as a vision of sex godliness and told her that she was going to love the show if she loved the thought of that.
We arrived at Val’s about an hour earlier than expected and therefore had plenty of time to waste before leaving for the show. We got the grand tour of her apartment, including an introduction to her cat, which Holly thought was the most beautiful creature she had ever seen and insisted on taking 226 pictures of. But while Holly may have been taken with the cat, it was Valerie herself who struck me. I met her this summer at a show in Knoxville, but a concert isn’t the best of places for deep discourse with someone you’ve only conversed with over Instant Messenger, so I left that night feeling as if we were still as unacquainted as ever. But let me tell you this about her: from the very beginning, it’s very apparent how genuine she is. She may be a sorority girl, and she may be as bubbly as the sorority-girl stereotype suggests, but somehow, you just know that everything from the girl’s mouth is absolutely the way it is. And Elias is Valerie in male form. I loved them both immediately. And I love that they’re trying to save money for their future, recently engaged as they are, so they nixed the eating-out that we had planned and instead made dinner together for the four of us while Holly and I played James Bond on Eli’s Playstation. I should note that Valerie served our sweet tea in plastic boot-shaped cups that they stole from their workplace, a rodeo/dinner experience called Dixie Stampede. Man, I love the South.
The two-hour ride from Valerie’s place in Jefferson City to Chattanooga was frightening and fun. Holly and I sat in the backseat looking through a monstrous Bride magazine full of models with too-large hair and dresses that completely enveloped their wearers in mountains of chiffon and lace. Every time one of us would coo or cry out in response to a garment, Val would take her eyes from the road and turn around to see what we had found, causing me to pull my seatbelt just a little bit tighter and surround myself in an impact shelter of overnight bags and purses. But Val is also full of Southern Jump fan insightfulness that I, a Northern Jump fan, was eager to hear. So even if my life was in danger, the drive was a delight.
As soon as we stepped in the doors of Rhythm and Brews for the early all-ages show, Jerry called my name from the balcony and beckoned us to her. I ran into my favourite crazy roadtrippin’ girls, the Huffs and Jenna, on the way up and then settled in for some crowd-watching. Dave and Janel arrived a few moments later, so I coaxed Holly down to the bar with me so that we could obliviously walk past them to slyly let them know that we were already in the joint. They played along accordingly, and so the eight of us were assembled in a line—Dave touching Janel’s knee, Michael sticking his tongue in Jerry’s ear, Holly asking me if I wanted her to pretend to be my girlfriend, and Eli with his arm draped around Val’s shoulders. Enough to make any onlooker hurl, I’m quite sure.
Jerry, in an attempt to either make me admire her beauty or make me jealous that Michael is with a girl such as her, spent most of the concert flipping her hair in my face and complaining to me that Michael was dropping ice down her shirt. I, however, was far too enthralled with the band and the rarely-performed songs that they were whipping out for the acoustic set to take mind of her:
Just a Second
There sure were a lot of downers in the set—“Yearling”, “Lover’s Greed”, “Where She Lies”—but it sure was chock full o’ goodness. Besides, it was an acoustic show, and slow songs are to be expected. And they even made the very slowest of the songs more exciting with the lack of amplification. I was astonished at how much better Jay’s voice sounded without the aid of a microphone. I’ve always kind of hoped that his vocals were being pumped through some sort of device that gave them their perfection. Ignorance may not be bliss, but it sure did make me feel better about my own vox.
The later of the two shows was a 21+ deal, so after forcing Dave to take pictures of Holly and me in various positions all over the stage, I contemplated how I was going to convince the doorman to allow Holly and Jerry—who are 20 and 18, respectively—into the joint. Janel informed me that there was no hope of security not checking the bathrooms, and I was quite sure that my cleavage wouldn’t be enough to do it, so I hooked Holly up with the Huffs and told her to pretend that she was selling merch with them. When she emerged from the venue a few minutes later, defeated, Michael and Jerry and Val and Eli and Holly and I walked around the building to see if we could find an alternate entrance. All that awaited us was a kitchen door guarded with an alarm and a bouncer, and Jerry was unwilling to be arrested for trespassing through the Thai restaurant next door to Rhythm and Brews, so we told Val and Eli to go ahead into the show while the rest of us figured something out.
Minutes later, she emerged to tell me that she had saved a seat for me in the front row, but I wasn’t about to leave Holly alone with a couple who might, at any moment, burst into spontaneous sexin’ on the concrete, so I asked if Valerie could transfer the black stamp that branded her 21+ onto Holly’s hand. Miraculously, their two hands ended up looking identical, so after showing the doorman my ID and having to discuss the Ohio Turnpike with him for what seemed like eternity, I pushed my hand against Jerry’s and BAM!, we were all in. After years and years (20 to be exact) of being rejected from shows for being too young, I had just beaten the system, damned the man. You can imagine how liberated I felt.
Tinkers Punishment opened up the later show, and dammit, did they prove themselves a rock band. They sound so much like Our Lady Peace and Muse and all of these other groups, yet there’s something different about them that I just can’t quite put my finger on. But the crowd really dug them. Especially the three shameless dancing girls to the left of the stage. No, I’m not talking about strippers.
When loads of folks got up to stand in front of the stage for Jump’s set, Holly and I decided to take some seats in the balcony for a better view. Thus began one of the most truly fun sets that I’ve ever seen Jump play:
Say Goodnight :: My very favourite Jump song in all of its glory with the original falsetto ending. Jay’s been performing this new ending for almost a year now, and while I actually like it a bit better, it sure is nice to return to the days of yore.
I didn’t really care too much for the new songs that I’d never heard before—“Young America” and “Hang It on the Wall”—but I’ll chalk that up to the fact that I was talking to Jordan from Tinkers Punishment through both of them. Otherwise, the guys probably awed me more during this set of songs than they ever had before during a rock show. The improvisation was just running rampant. The first case was one of Jay continuing to sing while retuning his guitar after breaking a string in the middle of a song. As if it isn’t difficult enough to tune a guitar or sing one of his flourishes separately, the man had to go and prove his manliness by doing both at the same time. Then, of course, there was the “Where is My Porridge?” song. Matt’s songs are so fast and wordy that I couldn’t believe it when he began drawing out single sounds to fill entire lines. Whenever I see Matt singing along with the entire band, I always assume that he’s just mouthing the words because he can’t actually carry a tune. Never will I doubt again. The third instance was this crazy “Funk Pank” whatnot. I had no idea what was going on until Matt suddenly broke into the lyrics of “Pink Lemonade” at twice their normal speed. He couldn’t keep it up and had to stop to laugh after each stanza, so Ward broke in and did the “you and me” chorus for him. When that was finished, they all kept playing, so Ward began freestyling about all of the members of the band. Nothin’ like a wannabe-heavy metal god rapping about his mellow rock band, I always say. I couldn’t understand a lot of what he was saying, but a member of my party claimed that he ended by repeating “show us your nipplies” until he decided to take matters into his own hands and went to the edge of the stage, where he grabbed a girl for a short make-out session. Then he moved onto another. And another. Until a fourth girl climbed onto the stage and seriously shoved her tongue into his mouth. It was unlike anything that I’ve ever seen at a Jump show. Or any show, for that matter. Jonny, the bassist, ended things by running over to Ward for a kiss of his own. I love those boys, I swear.
Like I said, great fun. I found the guys from Tinkers by the merch booth for a chat, and while Lead Singer Mike gave me a searching look when I touched his arm, he recognised me after a second and thanked me graciously for driving down to the show. I told him that the band seemed much more relaxed than when I saw them in Columbus last month but that I was a little disappointed in the lack of guitar-humping that everyone promised me at a Tinkers show in the South. Still, I expressed to him my appreciation for their rock-outedness. On my way to find Holly, I ran into Kenny from Tinkers and had to tell him much of the same. He must have thanked me fifteen times and hugged me another four in the five minutes that I talked to him, but just as I was bidding him a good night, Val came over and began talking to him, so I stayed and receiver another eight thanks and three hugs. I swear, if those guys lose their sweetness and innocence when they get famous, I’ll weep for them.
Jerry and Michael had already gone by that time, so I said my (rather awkward) goodbyes to Dave and Janel and left with Holly, Valerie, and Elias. We stopped by Taco Bell on the way home to load up on quesadillas and burritos in order to fill the car with all sorts of aromatic gases, but I had no time to contribute before I fell asleep. I woke up two hours later when I felt the car suddenly slow and saw nothing but stopped traffic on all sides. 3 AM and there was a traffic jam in Knoxville. Valerie and I chatted for a while as Elias—who was driving, mind you—took a nap, but I soon gave up and went back to snoozing myself. Forty-five minutes later, I felt the car lurch and watched out my window as we passed three tow trucks hauling some fairly mangled SUV’s and vans. At 5 AM, I finally went to sleep for good on the futon in Valerie’s living room.
Adventure. Excitement. Believe it or not, Tennessee has these things.
Where: Rhythm and Brews • Chattanooga, Tennessee
When: March 7th, 2003
Rains in Asia
Matchbox Whistler :: Was this my first time hearing this live? I’m not positive. Sure felt that way, though. Every time like the first time is the way it should be.
Pink Lemonade
Where She Lies :: The chorus. Oh, the chorus.
It's Up to You (Requiem) :: Wasn’t quite as good as when I first heard it performed last month. Maybe because then it was Jay doing it solo and here it wasn’t quite as sparse, stark what with the whole band playing along. Also, Michael wasn’t at all amused by my interpretation of the Hindi word at the beginning of the song, which didn’t help things.
Lover's Greed
Because of You :: Delicious! Yet painfully hard-hitting due to the circumstances of my summer love being there with someone other than me.
By the Way They Dance :: Really, I thought that this would be a Dock Street-only song. It doesn’t quite fit in with other Jump songs. Still, I was delighted to hear it.
Words of Wisdom
U Can Look :: My very favourite Matt song. Seems like ages since I’ve seen it live.
Yearling
Overkill :: Possibly the only Jump song that I dislike more than “Cathedrals”. Maybe because the lyrics seem like a whole lotta nonsense to me.
Cathedrals :: Yep, I truly wish that I could take a year-long break from this one. But they did it unplugged, which almost redeemed it. Okay, fine; it was gorgeous. But that doesn’t mean that I couldn’t have done without it.
Copper Kettle :: Deliverance from any dullness left behind by “Cathedrals”. Every time that Jay sings, “You’ll just lay there by the juniper,” it makes me want to jump on the person next to me. It’s that good.
Dancing Virginia :: Sure, I may not be able to relate to this song in any way, but it’s the perfect way to open or close a show. It actually makes me want to get up and dance. I am so serious.
Too High
Vertigo
Habit
Angel Dust
Young America
Violent Dreams
Broken Heart's Education
Where Did You Put My Porridge? :: This tour, the guys are taking turns doing one improv song per night using a title suggested by a fan. I really thought that Matt was asking, “Where is my pony?”, so the line “her porridge was so fucking cold” didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Still, I was totally, totally impressed with the band’s ability to play off one another and Matt’s very fitting singing style. No, seriously; he sang. He never sings.
Dim and the Dark :: Once again, this was far better at the Jay show where he was performing it alone. Sometimes it hurts to be a Jaygirl.
Made It Fine :: Mmm! I wish for this song at every show. I would venture to say that it completely made my night.
Hold Your Tongue :: This should never, I repeat, never be played at a rock show. It slows everything down and drowns all of the energy. Blech.
The Singer
Come Around
Hang It on the Wall
Not Today
My Guitar
Body Parts
(encore)
Darkest Love
Funk Pank :: A very funky rendition of “Pink Lemonade”.