Here it is. The entire month of January for the year 2000. Don't you just feel like a part of my life? Doesn't it make you all warm & fuzzy inside to know that I'm sharing a part of myself with you? I know it does. Read on, starting from the bottom.

January the 30th, 2000: Up until the point that Gladys & I had our little fight, we had been discussing a surprise party for Tracey. Samantha & I thought it would be cool to have the party the weekend after Tracey's birthday, because we figured that by then, she wouldn't have been expecting one. Gladys, however, shot us down & told us that she wouldn't want Tracey feeling like we didn't care about her. She's Tracey's mom, so we let her have her way, of course, if only to avoid impending tantrums. Gladys had been calling me on the phone every now & then to hear my ideas & just discuss random party things, but as soon as we argued, she stopped calling me & started talking to Sam. Then, Sam would call me to relay the information. It was a dumb system for dumb people, I suppose. Sam took care of buying the decorations while I made up invitations & pondered ways to keep Tracey away from her house until 7 on the night of the party. It turned out that I didn't have to do much pondering, because we had Mock Trial until 5:30. Katie & I were talking about the party in code all through Mock Trial, so I figured that Tracey knew what was going on. She played dumb if she did know, though. Katie & I knew we had to waste some time before the party, so I invited Tracey to go to McDonald's with me & asked Katie if she wanted to come along. We killed each other with plastic swords out in the parking lot until 6 & then headed to get some fries. Katie went to the bathroom while Tracey & I pledged to stay in the same exact spot to wait for her. We actually attempted to explore a locked utility closet while she was doing her business, but we placed ourselves in the same spot we had been in before she came back out. We sat around McDonald's until the fried were consumed. Katie pretended that she had to get home early so she could be at the party before we got there. All of the lying surrounding surprise birthday parties bothers me. I realize that it's lying for a good purpose, but as I was helping to plan Tracey's party, I was thinking about the countless lies she told me when I got too close to the truth. Bothersome. So, I drove Tracey back to her house very slowly to allow Katie some time to get situated, & then we pulled into her driveway. She had the same reaction to her party that I had to mine - lots of repeating the same phrase a hundred times. Hers was "There are cars in my driveway. Why are there cars in my driveway?" As we got up to her door & Tracey knocked, she said, "So, does this mean you're coming inside?" She mentioned it being one of the best birthday presents I could have given her or something, but I'm sure that was just the McDonald's ketchup talking. When we walked into her house, Gladys hugged me & said, "Thank you so much for coming." We gave her our coats & headed downstairs to the little gathering, whereupon we were attacked by Sam & the others. They all wished Tracey a happy birthday & the usual. Mike came a little later, as fashionably late is his thing, & took over the radio, since CD101 was nearing the end of their counting down of the top 2000 most-requested songs in their 10-year history. Katie & I were feeling really bond-y that night, for some reason (perhaps the fact that I designated her my new best friend), so we sat on a couch off in the corner with Bethany & Mike (who desperately wanted to play Risk) to discuss why Bethany & Mike aren't touchy-feely sort of people. A lot of leg-rubbing took place until we sporadically decided to go around kissing everyone to prove to Bethany that it's quite okay to kiss girls as well as guys. We circled the room, thoroughly freaking Bethany out, as I so enjoy doing. I took a picture of Mike's hole-y crotch with Tracey's camera upon his prodding, so I really can't wait for Gladys to go pick up her film & find that little treat. (A big of advice: The words "little treat" shouldn't be used in association with guys' crotches.) After most of the people had left, those of us who remained sat around & listened to bad music until we were close to the point of not functioning well enough to drive home. So, there ya go. Happy birthday, Tracey! (Even if it is 22 days too late.)

OK, since I have a little bit of time before my mind shuts itself off & I have to go to bed, let me ask you something. Have you ever noticed how unnecessarily long all of my stories are? However, this one was terribly short. Why is it that I can write 980 words about my surprise party, but I only write 316 about hers? I'm really far too self-centered, aren't I? No, I don't think it's that. I think it's fact that I don't want to make her party out to be a big self-analysis session as all of the other stuff I write is. There, that makes me sound much better, doesn't it? Good.

January the 9th, 2000: (Warning: The following story contains opinions that are clearly my own. This is only my interpretation of the events & how I remember them. The thoughts & feelings may not be shared by the other parties involved. By preceding, you understand this & promise not to get all gay on me.) So, here's something interesting that happened quite a while back. I don't really have the need to tell the story anymore, because I've completely gotten over it, but it leads into the next story, so you need to read this one before the other one makes sense, blah, blah, blah. I exchange gifts with my friends, naturally, around Christmas time. I bought some stuff for Tracey. I brought the stuff over to her house & left it under her tree a few days before Christmas, but she didn't have my gift ready, so we couldn't open them that night. Christmas came & went. It was very nice. Joanie & I wanted to go to Media Play the day after Christmas to redeem our thousands of dollars worth of gift certificates given to us by aunts & uncles clueless about Christmas gifts for picky teenagers. I invited Tracey to go along with us. She said she really wanted to but she would have to ask her mom & call me back. When she did call me back, she said that she had decided not to go, because she had no money to spend. I thought she was lying. I assumed that her mom didn't want her going. I just ignored it & went shopping with Jo. When we got home, we decided to go out to eat, so we invited Tracey & Samantha to go along with us. We ended up at Chi-Chi's, of course. Dinner was lovely. Sam told us about her wretched Christmas, & we all sympathized. The waiter stared at Sam for minutes at a time, & we all laughed. Then, we decided to go see a movie. Luckily, we all wanted to see Man on the Moon, so I followed Sam to BP so she could get some gas before we headed to the theatre. We bought pounds of candy, discussed whether it would be better to use the bathroom there or at the theatre, made fun of the pictures of kids with crimped hair on the walls, & debated buying pork rinds (not that I would ever, ever allow anything like that in my body), & left. We ended up at the theatre over an hour early, so we slowly bought our tickets, used the bathroom, bought drinks, & generally made fun of people. I like how fear-inducing the four of us are together. No one ever says anything to groups of teenagers together. Have you noticed? They all stand back & cower in fear. I like that. We stood outside the little room & discussed Andy Kauffman, since Joanie & I knew nothing about him. The new R.E.M. song, The Great Beyond, was playing as the credits rolled by inside, so Joanie & I sang along a bit. Sam fended off the other people waiting to go in, because she wanted first pick of seats. Tracey pointed out the fact that a Cliff Burton look-alike was standing right beside us. Then, they let us inside. Tracey noticed that the seats toward the back all had rounded backs & the ones in the front had square backs. I told her that the seats separated the bourgeoisie from the proletariat. Sam pretended to know what those words mean. Tracey & I debated on the correct pronunciation of the word "proletariat". I was right, of course. (Kidding, kidding, Tracey. OK, not really.) Joanie & I watched some people come in & head for the bourgeoisie seats. We knew that they were in denial about their socioeconomic situation. They sat down for a second in the rounded seats & then got up & moved to the proletariat seats. They had obviously realized their status & felt uncomfortable about attempting to fit in. We sadly shook our heads as the movie came on. It was a great movie. Not knowing anything about Andy didn't hinder me in any way, & I plan to see it again sometime. I took Tracey home when we were done, & she asked if I wanted to come in to exchange gifts. I didn't want Joanie to have to sit there & watch us, so I said we would try again the next night. We did. I went to her house early in the evening so we could have plenty of time to watch the movie I got Tracey for her birthday that I was giving to her early. (That made no sense. Rephrase: I got Tracey the movie Clue for her birthday. Her birthday wasn't until January 8th. I wanted to watch it that night. I decided to give it to her early. Much better.) We opened gifts. I got her the third Gary Hoey Christmas CD, Ho Ho Hoey III, a weird squeaking sub, and of course, the copy of Clue. She got me a copy of Labyrinth & a McDonald's playset. There's actually kind of an odd story behind that. You see, I got Tracey a copy of Labyrinth for Christmas a couple of months before, but her mom ended up getting it for her, too. I kept the copy I got for her for myself, because I was going to buy one for myself anyway. Tracey bought me one, because she didn't know that I got gotten it for her & kept it, so there were three copies of it floating around our families. Terribly interesting, I'm sure. So, I opened up my Labyrinth, she offered to take it back, & we played with the McDonald's playset for a bit. Gladys asked us if we wanted to make hot chocolate in her new hot chocolate maker, the Cocomotion. Tracey & I went into the kitchen to dump some orange flavoring, marshmallow creme, & a whole lotta milk & chocolate into the Cocomotion. We talked to Gladys for a bit & then went back into the living room to talk for a bit. When our hot chocolate was done, I took a sip & said that it was really great. Gladys told me that Tracey's older brother's neighbor, Indian Bob, called Cocomotion hot chocolate "Heaven in a cup". I made the offhand comment that I think Tracey's brother, Jeff, must be very lonely. I didn't mean it as an insult. He went from having tons of friends in college to living alone in an apartment with only his neighbors, Indian Bob & Becky, to keep him company. I would expect anyone in his situation to be a bit lonely. Well, apparently I've said something like that before, & Gladys thought I was slamming on her son, so she went off on me. She said that Jeff has more friends than I could ever dream of. I didn't care to fight about something that I didn't care at all about, so I just left it & walked back into the living room. Gladys followed me. As I got a coaster to put my hot chocolate cup on, she said, "Jeff is seeing a girl, & he has lots of other girls giving him their numbers." I told her that that was all fine & dandy, but it still didn't mean that he wasn't lonely. Once again, I didn't want to argue, but I also wanted Gladys to know that she knows just as little as I do about Jeff's feelings. She said that him hanging out with his sister doesn't make him lonely. I agreed but told her that Samantha feels the same way I do - that their relationship is just sort of unnatural. She said that she thinks Sam is just jealous of Tracey's hanging out with Jeff instead of her. I said that Sam very well could feel that way. What do I know about Sam's feelings? She said that she remembers when Jeff & his fiancée broke up & Sam threw herself at him. Gladys said that she remembers Jeff just taking it in stride. I told her that that had nothing to do with anything. She said that she thinks I'm jealous, too. I told her that I have no reason to be jealous. She said that I get mad when Tracey's not around for me to go places with. I told her that I don't need Tracey (although you know I love you, Trace), that I actually do have other friends. She suddenly got on the topic of Mike & me for some reason. She said that she knows how important it is for girls to have relationships with guys, & that she doesn't say anything about how much I'm with Mike. I reminded her that Mike isn't my brother. She said that brothers & sisters could go places together without there being anything wrong with them. I told her that I wasn't implying that Jeff & Tracey had a romantic relationship. She said that she hoped not, because that was sick. Then, she said, "You sometimes spend 36 hours straight at my house, & I would never think anything about you. I would never think you were a lesbian because you like to be around Tracey." I glanced at Tracey for support & reminded Gladys that she has, on several occasions in the past, insinuated that Tracey & I are too close to be anything but lesbians. Tracey offered no help. I wish I knew how long this went on. We just kept saying the same things over & over. I told Gladys that I didn't even realize that I had ever said anything about Jeff & Tracey to her. Gladys said that I make some sort of "snide comment" every time I'm over there. I told her that if I did, it was only in a joking manner. I told her that I never had any intention of offending anyone. Tracey said that it wasn't in a joking manner if I believed it was true. I apologized & told her once again that I never had any intention of offending her or Gladys. Gladys said that there was no reason to apologize. I said that I had obviously hurt her feelings, & I was truly sorry for it. She asked Tracey if it bothered her when I made jokes about her & Jeff. Tracey said that I knew it did, but she had gotten used to me joking about their relationship. Gladys got really nasty, then. She told me that she didn't know if she wanted someone like me coming to her house. Then, she said that she didn't know if she wanted someone like me being around her daughter. I certainly didn't want Gladys to regret ever allowing me into her house, so I picked up my keys to leave. Tracey said, "You're leaving?!" like she expected me just to stay & laugh off something like that. Gladys grabbed my arm, not allowing me to leave. I was just amazed by the fact that she wasn't willing to just accept my apology & deal with it. After she screamed in my ear for a minute, I got my arm free & walked toward the door. I shouted back some thanks & "Merry Christmas!" to Tracey & left. As I was pulling the front door shut, I could feel Gladys slamming it closed on the other side. I was outside in the dark, alone, & she was inside, screaming to my best friend still. I'm sure I don't want to know what she said when I left.

I talked to Tracey the next evening online, & she said that if it made me feel any better, Gladys felt really horrible about what happened. She told me that all of those things she had said were just said in anger, & that I'm still always invited to her house. I told her that I wouldn't be coming back to her house, anyway. She thought that it was because I was still mad at Gladys, but the truth is, I was never mad at Gladys. Not to sound mean or make anything worse, but I think Gladys is generally a totally unreasonable person, tends to get too angry & excitable over everything, & pushes people around when she doesn't get what she wants. I just accept that, though. She's seriously a dictator over Tracey's life, but Tracey doesn't even mind. At the same time, though, she's the most giving person I know next to my mom, & she's done a ton to help out my family. So, I wasn't mad at all. I had apologized & I didn't plan on saying anything else. I'm just big on being able to say whatever I want to without being limited, so it bothered me when Tracey told me that I would be able to come over again as long as I never made any comments that Gladys could find offensive. Completely ridiculous in my opinion, but it's what was expected. So, I didn't go back to Tracey's that week, & I didn't plan to go back there for quite a while. It turns out that I couldn't avoid it, though, which brings us to the second half of the story.

January the 2nd, 1999: (Note: This story was actually written on January 22nd, but I'm trying to pass it off as an old story. Some of the things mentioned within the story only make sense if you read it as if it was written on January 22nd, but I'm a dork who wants her New Year's Eve story to look like it was written on the second day of the new year. So shoot me.) New Year's Eve. It's supposed to be such a big deal. You have to figure out where to go, who to go with, what to wear, how drunk to get, etc. I, however, see next to no importance of doing something crazy on New Year's Eve. I'd much rather sit around Tracey's house with some people I love, watching a movie & filling up on Chili Cheese Fritos until the ritualistic ball-dropping with Dick Clark takes place than run thru the streets of my town naked. So, that's exactly what I planned to do until my little "tiff" with Gladys ruined that (see January 9th). Bethany asked if I would be interested in going to an Audio Adrenaline concert with her, & since they're one of the few Christian bands that I've actually known songs by for a while, I invited Tracey to come along, & all was well. I got up rather early the New Year's Eve day & called Mike for some random reason. He had told me a couple of weeks earlier that he had to work on New Year's Eve. I was a bit disappointed. Not only was he not going to be with my friends & me, but he was going to be with the Gap people. I don't like those Gap people. On the phone, however, Mike said that he wasn't sure what he was going to do that night. It turns out that he was only working until 7, so I told him to come to the church where the concert was after he got off (work, that is). Mike told me to call Heath to see if he wanted to accompany us. He had planned to go anyway, so he said he wanted to come along with us. I figured that the church would be cold since it was freezing outside, so I slapped one of my dad's long-sleeved button-up shirts from the 70's over my tank & left for Tracey's. We picked up Heath on the way to Bethany's. He had told me on the phone that he just got his wisdom teeth taken out & he was a bit self-conscious about his puffy cheeks. Heath is adorable no matter what, though, & I actually liked the puffy cheek look. We left shortly after arriving at Bethany's, headed for the church. Heath & Bethany talked about Christian music while Tracey & I sat back & listened. Hanging out with Bethany so much has allowed me to learn quite a few Christian bands, though, so I was able to interject every now & then. Heath is the hugest Stavesacre fan in the world, so he told us about walking around Media Play, trying to get someone to buy the last copy of Speakeasy so he could feel satisfied in his role as their #1 fan, if you will. When we got to the church, we stood in line for a bit & then traded our tickets for some blue wristbands. Heath called Radio U, the radio station that was sponsoring the event, to request the new Stavesacre song as Bethany, Tracey, & I watched some kids climbing the huge Gladiator-esque wall in the middle of the room. We wanted to find the Radio U booth, so we went on a search around the church. The place was freaking huge. We found a couple of rooms full of extreme games, & so had everyone else, apparently. We started seeing people from our school then. Heath had mentioned that a bunch of people were coming, but I wasn't exactly expecting to see the people we did. I don't mean to pass judgement, but they weren't the kind of kids I associate with the words "Christian band concert" in any way. (Except you, of course, Lisa.) The four of us ended up in a smaller gym where not many people were. Heath & Bethany played some sort of game that involved bouncing around on a large air-filled mat while Tracey & I snapped pictures of ourselves & them. We got tired of walking around after a while, so we went back into the room with the big climbing wall to find a chair. & find a chair we did. Heath sat down in it, I sat on the arm, & Bethany & Tracey were left on the floor. A guy (I'll call him Ed, just because I like that name) who graduated last year walked by us, & I saw him notice us, but he was headed toward the bathroom. On his way back, I saw Ed coming for us, but when got near, he suddenly slowed down & looked away for a second. Then, he looked back over at us until he caught my eye. He acted all surprised to see us, clearly not realizing that I known he was planning to stop & talk the whole time he was in the bathroom. People are always doing weird stuff like that. Ed is one of those people who is so incredibly charismatic that you just can't not like him . . . that is, until you realize that you would never know if he hated you, because he's just nice to everyone who has any kind of social standing. He's nice to the people who don't have any, as well, but he doesn't go out of his way to do anything with them. (I don't know if that makes sense, but that's the only way I know how to describe him.) He's also the type of person that everyone pretends to like to his face but always talks about how much they despise him when he's not around. He's never done anything to me, so I don't have any reason not to like him, but he tends to manipulate people from what I've seen. People let him manipulate them, though, because they see the kind of power he has over people, & they want a bit of it. Anyway, Heath doesn't even try to hide his distaste for Ed. He's not exactly mean to Ed, because Heath's just not mean to anyone, but you can just feel the tension when they're around each other. Ed asked Bethany how she was doing at "State". Bethany answered with her "I can't even begin to tolerate you" voice, so Ed finished up with us & went back to his brother across the room. A member of Heath's old band found us & came over to talk. Heath had been relatively quiet up until that point, but he & Brad sat & talked about "old times" like they hadn't seen each other in years. I like how men always do that. Heath saw someone in the middle of the room & said that he was a friend of Jonathan & Mike's. I looked at the guy, but I didn't think I knew him. Then, I realized that I had played Risk with him at Jonathan's one night. I wanted to go over & talk to him, but I couldn't even begin to remember his name. While I was sitting there thinking about it, he & his friends left, so I had missed my chance. After a bit, people began lining up to go into the auditorium-like place where the concert was going to be. We didn't want to go to the back of the line, so we just got in front of one of Heath's best friends, Jeff. Brad was left to fend for himself, which made me kind of feel bad for him, but I didn't really know what to say to him except "I love you, Brad! Forty9after!", so we just stood there. (Don't be alarmed if you didn't understand that last line at all. There are only about 4 people who will get it.) They finally let us in, & there was a mad rush to find seats. Bethany, Tracey, & I sat back about 7 rows & were quite satisfied with our seats, but Heath somehow thought it was OK for him to go & sit in an empty seat by Jeff. It's not like I need absolute loyalty, & I've come to expect that sort of thing from Heath, but I still think it bothered me. The openers were called StrikeForce. I had never heard of them, so I thought it was a band. I was sorely mistaken. It was actually a group of scary body-building Christian guys. They did extremely exhilarating (sarcasm, my friends) stunts like blowing up hot water bottles, bending steel bars with their teeth, & smashing concrete blocks with their heads. While it seemed that everyone else was enthralled with StrikeForce's brute strength, Bethany, Tracey, & I couldn't believe how stupid the whole thing was. However, the best was yet to come. StrikeForce & a bunch of other people came out onto the stage as the lights were turned out. A guy supposedly dressed as Satan started talking about how he was going to turn the world away from God with the help of his demons. Then, he started giving orders to people dressed as random demon-like creatures, telling them to kill people using hate & the like. Then, a spotlight lit up a scene on a balcony off to the side of the stage, where a mother & her son were sitting. They talked about how much the son hated how his father was always drunk & whatnot. Then, the father came home & yelled at the son, who pulled out a gun & shot the father. Then, the scene shifted to the son by himself. The demons crowded around him, encouraging him to kill himself. Satan said, "Let's have some suicide music" from down on the stage. All of the sudden, a Metallica song started blaring over the loudspeakers. Tracey & I cracked up. Oh, yeah. I don't know about you, but Metallica definitely makes me want to commit suicide. Then, the kid shot himself, obviously compelled to by the "death messages" in James Hetfield's words. I was blown away by what poor taste the whole thing was done in. I don't know exactly how you go about having someone kill himself in a tasteful way, but that wasn't it. The other scene the group showed was a guy pressuring his girlfriend into having sex, & it was done in such a cliché-like manner that I just had to laugh again. The girl ended up getting pregnant, getting an abortion, & dying afterwards, but not before her nurse told her how to accept Jesus into her heart. For the third scene, two gangs had a "turf war" of sorts where a guy got shot. (That was just for you, Bethany. Go ahead & say it. You know you want to.) Then, Satan began pulling the dead out of a coffin, making them his demons. That is, until he got to the abortion girl. He pulled her out of the coffin, but just as she stood up, heavenly music filled the room & Jesus came strolling down the aisle in all his glory. He & Satan fought for a bit. We were all so worried. Jesus just couldn't let Satan have the girl's soul! But we had nothing to fear, of course, for Jesus & his love will always prevail over the hate of Satan & his demons. After Jesus beat Satan, he walked to the abortion girl & held her hand. Angels surrounded her as Jesus pointed to the sky. The girl looked up in wonder, amazed by what Jesus had to show her. We, of course, knew that he was merely pointing to the empty seats in the balcony above us. I don't exactly mean to make fun of the whole bit, because it could have been really touching, & Bethany yelled at me for kind of laughing at it, but it was just a bit too cheesy for me. I really thought I was going to have to leave when everyone started clapping & cheering as Jesus came down the aisle. Still not the best part, though. After the little program was over, the StrikeForce guys came back out without their costumes & invited the church's preacher to come onstage. He gave us a little talk about God & told us how important it is to have him in our hearts. Then, he started saying that if we didn't have a relationship with Christ, we should come to the front. A few people came up & stood in front of the stage. Then, as the preacher kept talking, more & more people filed up there to stand in front of him. I couldn't help but wonder how many of the little girls in feather boas & flare jeans with glitter all over their entire bodies were just going up there to be seen. Tracey didn't know what the heck to do, because she doesn't believe in God, but she doesn't want to, either. I found the whole situation rather amusing. When the preacher had prayed for everyone & all of the little girls had danced around up front in the feather boas for a while, we were released from the room & sent back out to play games until Audio Adrenaline was ready. We watched Heath, Jeff, & some other people from our school ride this weird bull for a while. It was hanging on top of a big air mat, suspended from strings on poles. Big, buff men pulled on the strings to get the bull to bounce around. Jeff was born to be a bull-rider, I suppose, because he held his arm up in the air as a bull-rider should & stayed on the thing forever. Bethany took us to buy some Sprite, & as we were standing there, I saw Jonathan's friend for the 800th time that night. I suddenly thought that I remembered his name, so I went over to talk to him. I asked him if he was David, & when he said that he was, we talked about the night of Risk-playing for a moment. It was huge weight lifted off of my shoulders to remember his name, & I felt quite satisfied being able to call him by it. We were tired of standing after a while, so we went back to our chair in the lobby. People started lining up to go back into the auditorium-ish room, so we followed suit, not about to get bad seats. Bethany was desperately searching for this guy she's in love with, so Tracey & I pointed out all of the guys who fit the description of him she had given to us. We started getting a bit bored, so Tracey told me to go stick my hand in the little circle cut out of the glass in the window to some kind of ticket office-like room. I did. Then, she told Bethany to go stick her tongue in it. I knew she wouldn't, so I went & did it. That's when you know you're in serious need of entertainment, I think. Mike called on Bethany's cell phone after a bit, so I went outside to talk to him. After I gave him directions & told him about scary StrikeForce, he said he would be out in 10 minutes. I went back inside to stand with Bethany & Tracey, & we talked to a chick named Pearl for a while. We laughed at Ryan, the sexual harasser, in his wanna-be ag kid clothes. I thought Mike would be coming soon, so I went outside to wait for him. It was freezing out there, but it was disgustingly hot inside, so the air felt pretty good. A strange guy walked over & stood by me. He asked if I was cold. I said that it didn't feel that bad. He laughed & asked if I was with anyone. Not exactly wanting to give out any invitations for rape at a church function, I told him that I was actually waiting for someone at the moment. He smiled again & walked off, probably looking for more prey. I went inside until I saw Mike's car coming. As I walked outside, he stopped his car in front of the sidewalk, made a funny face, waved, & drove off in search of a parking place. I saw him get out of his car & jump around the parking lot a bit. Then, he came running toward me. I don't know exactly what I wanted him to do or say, but I know I didn't want him to just run past me, which is exactly what he did. I don't know what my reaction to that was supposed to be, but I just stood there, thinking that there are guys who tell me how much they care about me every day, yet I choose to spend my weekends with the one who runs past me when I invite him to go to a New Year's Eve concert with me. While I stood, pondering that fact, Mike came back out & said, "Let's go in. It's cold out here." We went in, bought him a ticket, & went into the room to find Bethany & Tracey. We couldn't, but we did find Heath & the rest of the people from our school, so we talked to them for a minute until I pulled Mike away. We spotted Tracey & Bethany finally, way in the back in the comfortable seats. We went up & sat with them while Radio U DJ's came out onto the stage to give out "free stuff". As they launched shirts out into the audience & everyone stood up to catch them, Mike started making fun of the fact that people get all excited when they hear the words "free stuff". So, Mike, the weirdo that he is, started yelling "Free stuff!" over & over. The people in front of us turned around & looked down to see who was saying it. They gave me a sympathetic look, & I realized that they thought something was "wrong" with Mike. I told him that they thought he was mentally retarded, but he just laughed & kept doing it. I suppose that's why I choose to spend my weekends with him, isn't it? Crazy. A Canadian guy named Riley Armstrong came out & sang a few songs as Audio Adrenaline's opener. Tracey & I had seen him wandering around earlier, & we thought he was really hot, but he wasn't so great onstage. He had a nice voice, but his songs were a bit lame, & he told really horrible stories in between songs. I decided that I liked him before he was done, though. Audio Adrenaline came on, & as they got into their first song, Mike asked if I wanted to move up closer with him. I did, but Tracey & Bethany didn't, so Mike & I trekked up to the pseudo mosh pit. I say "pseudo", because I realized in the first second that I was up there that I wasn't going to be the least bit hurt. As soon as people bumped into each other, they turned around to apologize & see if the other person was hurt. I found it rather funny. The second song the band played, Big House was the first Audio A song I knew, so I was all singing along & jumping around with the other moshers. Heath was up farther than Mike & me, so we kept pushing our way up to get to him. Mark, the lead singer of the band, kept totally looking at me, which I'm really all about. A little kid in front of me kept jumping up & hitting my chin, so I was forced to elbow drop him. I felt rather bad about it after it was said & done, but it got him out of my way, & my chin felt much better, so I suppose that it was the right move to make. The band started in on Chevette, a song that I just recently fell in love with. Mark was all sweaty, as were absolutely all of the men in the mosh pit. I got pushed back a little, so I jokingly shoved aside a guy I know from Spanish. I think that action somehow bonded us, because he randomly mentions stuff about the concert to me during class now. I love how shared experiences make people think that they know each other. I looked back at one point during the concert & saw Lisa, the incredibly funny girl who I mentioned earlier in this story, moshing behind me. I just had to stop & laugh. As crazy as she is, I don't think I could ever have pictured Lisa jumping around like that if I tried. I don't think I've ever had a better time at a concert, even though I've seen bands that I liked more. I liked actually talking to people who I never see out of the school setting. I liked having Mike make sure that I wasn't getting beaten up too badly. I even liked losing my shirt every 5 minutes. OK, maybe I didn't like that. Speaking of shirts, Audio A's bass player was wearing a shirt that said "Soccer - The Real Football". I liked it, even if I'll get killed for saying that. I told Mike that I was going back to check on Bethany & Tracey. (Why? I don't know.) They came back up to the front with me in time for the last song, a cover of Free Ride requested by Heath. When Mark said that he was going to sing it for the guy in the red shirt, Tracey & I yelled, "Yeah! We love you, Heath!" just as we did at Heath's band's concert last year. The little kids in front of us turned around to stare, but we didn't care. I shoved my way thru to the front & got a couple of pictures for Bethany. After the band was done singing, Mark started in on a prayer. It was a really nice prayer, but being the extremely bad people that we are, Tracey & I found it a bit funny. You see, at one point, Mark said, "It's not about doing church. It's about doing Jesus." Tracey & I were both thinking, "Doing Jesus!? That's sick." As it was almost midnight, the band said their good-byes, & the huge screens around the room were turned to a television station that was counting down the minutes until the millenium. We planned to go back to Mike's to watch the ball drop, but as we went out into the lobby, we spotted Riley Armstrong, & we stopped to talk. Heath & I ended up talking with him about Canadian music for a while, which obviously made him incredibly happy, so by the time we were done, we didn't have time to get to Mike's. Heath, Jeff, & Mike went back into the auditorium while Bethany talked to a guy who graduated with her last year. When we were done with him & went back into the auditorium, I saw Mike over with the group of people from our school. I realized then something that I've probably known all along. He actually wants them to like him. He says that he hates everyone at school & he doesn't care what they think of him, & I think I actually believed him up until that point. Then, I started thinking about all of the things that he does that screams, "I know I'm weird, but I want to fit in so badly!" He used to sit with a group of chicks at lunch, but he now sits alone & tells everyone that he's doing it to get away from people. He's actually doing it to draw attention to himself, though, to make himself seem like he's too good to sit with everyone else. He can't go for a single minute without talking to someone, saying something weird to try to make everyone laugh. I don't know exactly how to explain him. You just have to be around him to understand, I suppose. Maybe we're all like that, though. It kind of makes me sad. Well, now that I've totally dragged down my story, I'll continue. Bethany, Tracey, & I chose some seats & sat down. Mike came over to sit with us, which surprised me after what I had seen a few minutes earlier, but I'm not complaining. He wanted to get out of there after the ball dropped, though, so we walked to the back of the room to see if we could find Heath & Jeff. I don't remember why, but I was hugging everyone in the back as I usually am. When I got to Mike, he said, "We can't do that in church", which made me laugh. The ball dropped & everyone cheered while Bethany got out her cell phone & checked to see if it was still working, which it was not. We bought stickers from Riley Armstrong on the way out to our car just to make him happy, & it did. We were all going back to Bethany's house, so Mike went home to take a shower before meeting us there. We sat around, eating & talking about the gay choir director at our school until Mike came. Heath played some Stavesacre for us while Jeff talked about spending the night in a haunted house. I told Jeff about his mom & I talking about his bass-playing skills (she wanted him to learn to play drums instead, just so you know) while Tracey tried desperately to impress Mike with the Pink Floyd knowledge she's collected solely for that reason. It got late & Heath's mom didn't know where he was, so I took him & Jeff home. Tracey & I discussed Heath on the way back from his house. She liked the puffy cheeks, too, I think. (Ahh, the stupid things I write about.) When we got back to Bethany's, Mike left, but Tracey & I spent the night. We saw William Shakespeare's shadow on the wall before we fell asleep, so I dreamed of him instead of my lovely night, but I'll take Heath, Mike, Jeff, Bethany, & Tracey over William any night, if that makes any sense. New Year's Eve isn't so bad, now, is it?

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