How Rock 'N' Roll Are Hanson?
They have long hair, they can play the guitar and they're not totally unfamiliar with leather pants, but are Hanson 100 per cent bona fide rock gods? We put them to the test.
1, You're due to to play at a big outdoor feastival and all you need to arrange is the accommodation. Do you...
a) Take a tent and camping stove? There's nothing like the big outdoors, even if it does mean peeing in a hedge.
b) Roll up in a huge tour bus? The bunks are cosy and if it means going without a shower for one day then, so what?
c) Book into the nearest hotel? Peace and quiet, fresh sheets and 24-hour room service. Bliss.
Taylor: We'd book into a hotel.
Zac: No, we'd stay on the tour bus cos then we wouldn't have to do any horrible travelling.
Taylor: No, you'd stick in the bus during the day and then hang out at the hotel at night.
Isaac: We wouldn't camp cos there's not usually any dressing room areas backstage at feastivals.
Zac: And if the weather was bad we wouldn't wanna risk falling sick.
Taylor: 'Sides, we'd have to pee in the open air. Eurgh!
2, You leave the taps running in your hotel bathroom and flood the whole apartment. There's enough water to wash an elephant. Do you...
a) Get down on your hands and knees and use all your spare undies and towels to mop it up?
b) Pack up and sneak out? Hotels charge enough, they should cover the damage!
c) Sheepishly own up to the manager and offer to pay for new carpets and the costs of the damage to the room?
Taylor: We'd sneak out! No argument.
Isaac: I'd clean up as much as possible, then sneak out!
Taylor: Yeah I guess so, but I wouldn't ruin my underwear. I'd use all the bedsheets instead.
3, A relative wants to buy you a lovely present for your new apartment. Do you opt for...
a) A musical lavatory? It plays a rock tune when you flush the chain!
b) A new ironing board?
c) A diamond studded pinball machine?
Taylor: Easy, the pinball machine. An ironing board's boring and who wants a toilet that plays music? If you're ready to flush it you're about to leave the room, aren't you?!
Isaac: Yeah, I'd have the pinball too but I'd take off the diomonds and sell them.
Zac: And then buy the toilet!
4, During a European tour BOYZONE are staying in the hotel apartment next door. You invite them in for a party, but after a while Keith starts getting a bit rowdy and begins to trash your hotel room. He's about to throw the TV out of the window. Do you...
a) Shout 'Go on Keith! Rock 'n' roll!' and lob the alarm clock out the other window?
b) Rescue the TV from him but join in a popcorn and Pepsi fight, accidently spraying fizzy pop up the walls?
c) Call the police and breathe a sigh of relief as the cops lead Keith away? That'll teach him!
Isaac: No, you pull the TV out of his hands and 'shut up! sit down!'
Taylor: 'And behave like the adult you are.'
Isaac: I think throwing a TV out the window is a little bit dangerous.
Zac:(In a world of his own pretending to lob a telly through a window!) Djooooouuuu! Kerash! Boooosh!
Taylor: Water balloons or small animals, on the other hand, are fine by me!
5, You meet a girl who likes you for all the right reasons. It's her birthday and you want to spoil her. Do you...
a) Play her a song on your acoustic guitar?
b) Record her a special tune and have it played over the radio along with a birthday message?
c) Drive her round the neighbourhood in a sports car with big speakers playing a romantic Celine Dion ballard?
Zac: Yuk! None of those!
Taylor:You'd take her out into the country and do something that had nothing to do with any of those. (The mind boggles...) You'd do what she wanted to do.
Isaac: But Taylor, girls don't like being asked what to do. I'd play her a song on my guitar, take her to a movie then dinner.
Zac: I'd do nothing!
Isaac: Ah Zac, that's not a good idea cos then she'll be on at you for forgetting her birthday.
Zac: OK, I'd take the diamons off the pinball machine and give them to her.
6, It's a mate's birthday and you're off to a post restuarant to celebrate. Uh oh, the doorman refuses you entry cos you're wearing trainsers. Do you...
a) Say, 'Don't you know who I am?' and demand the best table in the house?
b) Take your shoes and socks off and walk in with bare feet- nurdy nur?
c) Congratulate your mate and slink off home?
Isaac: Go home. I wouldn't want to go to a posh restaurant anyway.
Taylor: (To Isaac) But your friend's asked you along.
Isaac: OK, I'd take my shoes and socks off.
Zac: Yeah, but you make sure you've cut your toenails and washed your feet.
Taylor: He could still wear his socks.
Isaac: Yeah, walking in with sock on and not caring what everyone else thought. Now that's pretty rock 'n' roll!
The Verdict OK, so Isaac, Taylor and Zac are perfectly happy to lob a cute fluffy bunny from a 18th floor window and are just gagging to own a bejewlled pinball machine but sringe at the mere thought of weeing al fresco. A case of rock 'n' roll identity crisis we think!
The sentence We're afraid it's 40 weeks on the road with OASIS. If they can keep up with pop's bad bruvs then we'll crown them the true Rock Gods of Pop.. forever!
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