I SO Don't Like Mmmbop...

This story began on a causal Saturday afternoon when I was online chatting with one of my more opinionated friends, who believed he was right no matter what he's arguing against. His favourite was always the ever popular subject on how rubbish Hanson are; hence why I 'tortured' (I call it persuading) him with continuous videos of performances and music videos I sneekily sent him under false names (yeah like FREE PORN!). But the really funny thing about that is the small fact that back in '97 he had a crush on Tay and will never live it down to this day.
'Oh come on, admit it. You still like him.' I teased.
He would admit to no such thing and so had to rip into Hanson even harder.
'Crap! Bollocks! Die!' Was his reply as I mentioned another amusing anecdote. 'And even though Tay is gay I still won't date him.'
I let his little matter-of-fact sink in for a minute. 'Excuse me??'
'You don't see it Liz? It's so blatant.'
Now Chris was always very smug about his gay-dar. He once bragged he can spot one in a 500-hundred mile radiance (and yet he never got a date? Hmmm...) With that- he seemed to think that Taylor is gay. Go figure.
I asked for his reasons and he proudly sent me this list. I wasn't sure if I was impressed or just worried as it didn't take him long. I had a feeling he had been waiting to bring up this subject for a while...

He's a pop star. (I try to tell him that not every pop star is gay but ever since George Michael, Steven Gately, that blonde from S Club, etc. came out he'll hear nothing of it.)
He dances like it's 1999, if you get what I mean. (Yes. We do.)
He demands attention like most camp guys we know. If he's not in the spotlight he'll throw a diva-like tantrum backstage.
He wears way too much leather and tight T-shirts to just be a rock star.
He surrounds himself with too many girls to be straight. This is known as the George Michael syndrome where you just reassure people way too much.
He's loves Billy Joel as much as his mum? (Again I tell him because Billy Joel is a genius but once again Chris is right and I'm wrong. So nerrr.)
His fashion taste.
His earring.
Zac and Ike have girlfriends and Taylor doesn't?
Two words: Mummy's Boy.
So I had to write out my reasons why Chris will never get Taylor no matter how much he wants him, which I know he does; he has more posters than I do. I have written out my reasons against Chris's ideas. And I will win.
He's not exactly eighties-clean-cut-pop boy. He's more 'hey dude, which way to Woodstock?' ever since his hair was cut. And not in a pathetic trying to be a bad-boy way. He just looks an on-the-road mess a lot of the time.
Again with the hair; he never washes it. He does on rare occasions but mostly he looks like a real garage-band member.
That look of jealousy on the Jenny McCarthy Show when Zac gets a whole lot of model and he doesn't.
His fashion taste. No respectable gay man would have that bad a fashion taste. Even Chris couldn't disagree with me on that one.
He doesn't surround himself with girls- they surround him.
Whenever looking at a girl you can instantly tell she is thinking 'hey, I'm up here.'
In an interview he was the first to shout out his delight in meeting Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz... the list goes on and on.
His earring is on the right, not the left.
He can't shop.
He can't cook.
He can't clean.
And yet he knows how to fix a microphone.
His basic skills are banging on instruments and talking a lot. Typical heterosexual male who can't get out of bed without his mum's help.
With these facts I was victorious and Chris was left sulking. I'd never felt prouder to defend my favourite band.
'But then there's Ike...'

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