Pete and Tim's page for Jerks and their Mothers

DEAR Pete and Tim:

Our son was given every opportunity for as much education as he wanted, plus room and board without ever costing him a quarter, but as the kids say today, "He blew it."

Now he comes and goes as he pleases, lounges around the house, reading, listening to records, eating like a king, contributing nothing, and making long speeches about what is wrong with the world. We told him to get out until he either gets a job or goes back to school and completes his education. So far, neither alternative appeals to him.

He says that he is a minor and we have to take care of him until he is twenty-one. That means another eight months, and Idon't think we can take it anymore. Any suggestions?

Had It In Schenectady

Dear Schenectady:

"He Blew It"?!? Is that really what the "kids" are saying now days, oh mister slang dictionary? So, right now as I type this, millions of hip children are saying "He Blew It". Is that what you are suggesting? Maybe I am missing the point, but do you honestly think that the kids who are reading your letter right now are thinking to themselves, "He Blew It"? You are an idiot. Nobody says "He Blew It" and thinks they are being cutting-edge.

Ok, ok... I guess I can give you the benifit of the doubt. I will just pretend you wrote this letter in 1940 and just forgot to mail it until now. I think I can help you now.

Your son is living in, as we kids like to call it, "Pimp Heaven". It is a place where you have no resposibilities and all the freedom in the world. It is a wonderful "Hooptie". I think your son must be the most "Jiggy Fresh" "HomeBoy" in the "H-iz-ouse". If you truly want to give your son "Homeboy Lovin' " let him "Swing" in your "Crib" a little bit longer.  You sound like you got the "Ends" to support him. Just give it a few more months. I'm sure that your "Jigga" will figure things out by then.

"Peace"
Pete and Tim.