Pete and Tim's page for Jerks and their Mothers
(Jerk of the Week)
The Cast of The Real World,
New Orleans
Picture if you will a place where seven sexy co-eds share a stately New Orleans manor for months, don't have to work, and are treated to special privileges like a safari vacation to South Africa, yet STILL bitch and moan as though their lives were the equivalent of dog barf. Welcome to the "real world." This perverse name was attached to an MTV series 9 years ago, and they are still luring socially ackward pre-teens with their promise of conflict, "real-life situations," and boobies. This vile scum of a program kicked off the "reality" T.V. trend, and for that reason it deserves its place here.
But wait, Pete and Tim, what about the actual participants? Well, we're glad you asked. First, there's this one girl (I won't give her the dignity of using her name, 'cause I forgot it), who has a HORRIBLE identity crisis because she's half black and half puerto-rican. So I guess she doesn't know which half to play up to for the oh-so-minority-friendly MTV programing executives. There's that Danny guy who's the token gay guy (they always include a token gay male), then there's sweet-and-innocent Melissa, who is just sooo shocked by the fact that people drink alcohol in New Orleans. Then there's Jamie, the frat-boy-turned-sensetive-intellectual, who kisses ass to the half-black, half-puerto rican girl because she's "ethnic." To round out the list is David, who is truly the Jerk amongst jerks. David is the one that would rather eat BBQ chicken on his back porch than go to the Marti Gras parade. David is the ass who everyone is really sympathetic to, because he's so sensetive, but treats the rest of 'em like crusty toilet seats. David is the one who tries to act brave by stripping for a friend's b-day party, but then nearly pisses his pants when he jumps off a bungie-jump. And finally, in a move of utter jerkiness, David is the one who feels the need to spout off Neitzche and his understanding of Man's relation to Nature while everybody frolics on an African safari. This particular intellectually-insecure act can only be described as "nauseating."
So please welcome to Pete and Tim's Page for Jerks, the first ever Jerk of the Week: The Cast of MTV's Real World New Orleans.
David, "Did I mention I'm a playa lately?" the biggest jerk.