PROUD TO LOVE promotes the belief that, "No one should be discriminated against
because of their sexual attraction to boys."
I am using the term "boy-lover" and men who are attracted to boys interchangeably.
In our culture many adult males have feelings of love, affection, and a desire to both mentor and nurture adolescent and pre-pubescent boys. What sets boy-lovers apart for other males is the sexual and romantic component of their attraction. If it were not for the sexual and romantic aspect of our attraction, boy-lovers would not be stigmatized
Some boy-lovers do express their love and affection for boys in ways that are sexual.
Most of the time this is with the boys consent, and is in accordance to the boys needs and desires. Children are sexual beings.
There is no proof, however, that MOST boy-lovers are sexual with boys. While most of us would certainly like to be sexual with a boy, we are well aware of the laws which prohibit such behavior, and the penalties for violating age-of-consent laws.
We are also aware that in this culture most people believe that adult/child is harmful to children. Many of us may not share this belief. At the same time we are aware that this belief may influence a child and his self-esteem if a boy is discovered being sexual with a man. It is for these reasons that most boy-lovers avoid being sexual with boys
While there is no proof that most boy-lovers are sexual with children, we are still viewed with suspicion and distrust. This should not be the case since most boy-lovers can control their behavior.
Most people view our attraction to boys with hatred and fear for one of two reasons. First, because of our fantasies and desires they are afraid that we might act on our feelings or second they are people whose religious beliefs condemn our atttraction to boys and often view it a a form of homosexuality.
Anita Bryant got her start in the mid 1970"s with her "Save Our Children" campaign that was aimed at destroying the gay rights movement, that was beginning to blossom with the sexual revolution. In the early seventies the gay community did not distinguish between men who were attracted to boys, and men who were attracted to males above the age of consent.
In July of 1982 the case of New York v. Ferber allowed federal and state government to outlaw visual material showing children as sexual beings. After 1985 the AIDS epidemic began to decimate the gay community. In order to get medical support and funding to combat the AIDS epidemic the mainstream gay community began to downplay the sexual aspects of the gay lifestyle. Allowing boy-lovers to openly participate in the gay community was making it increasingly difficult for gays and lesbians to sanitize their image.
In June of 1994 NAMBLA the (North American Man/Boy Love Association) was expelled from the ILGA. (International Lesbian and Gay Association) As an article written in "Paraklesis" and published on there web site states:
"NAMBLA [the North American Man/Boy Love Association] has been - for better or worse - the only link to solidarity and identity for literally thousands of boyloves in North America over the past two decades."
When NAMBLA was excluded from the ILGA in 1994 - boy-lovers were symbolically excluded from the gay community, and left without its support. Many of us, however, still have good friends in the gay and lesbian community who see as people worthy of their love and support.
Since 1994 men who are attracted to boy have built their own community and a new sense of identity on the internet. The religious right still continues to hate and fear us because of their belief that god is a loving but sexless patriarch The gay community still holds to the belief that if they ;re well behaved on Gay Pride Day that Pat Robertson and The Rev. Jerry Falwell will eventually like them.
No one should be discriminated against because of their attraction to boys!
Dennis Bejin
Proud To Love
