I stand under my porch light on the welcome mat, the one thing they haven�t taken. It�s a cool night, a lifeless night with no stars, they are hidden under the storm clouds. I wonder if this is what the calm before the storm is like. I�ve never understood the term but suddenly it becomes clear. I wonder what tomorrow will be like without me there. I wonder who will break down crying first.

I look at my two best friends� faces. We have all managed to stay strong this far. They stood with me when I was staring at the big moving truck. I didn�t know it would be that big. Maybe I didn�t care. But now it seems so real. I still don�t cry. I can�t. I have to get through this.

She looks at me and asks me if it�s weird for me. No, I tell her, it�s not. I lied. It is hard. It always will be. I hadn�t expected that it�d be like this. I don�t know what I was expecting, but it wasn�t this.

Suddenly, emotions engulf me and I can feel the streams of tears falling down my face. They are both crying too. It�s an epidemic. When my tears are drying, hers are still falling and so begin new tears.

I wonder if I�ll see them again. I wonder if I will change. I wonder what will happen to this perfect friendship. I wonder if life can go on.

It�s time to go, my parents say. This brings on a whole new rush of emotions. They walk me to the car. Ash kisses my cheek; Jen tells me she never thought it would really happen. I have to walk away from them now. I get in the car and gently close the door. I cannot bear to slam the door on my past.

I watch them as we drive away. As soon as I can no longer see them, I begin to cry. Heavy, unforgiving, painful sobs fall. This is how it has to end. It hurts.