Author - Dot (and_so_it_begins)
Rating - PG-13/R - but it's fluff!!
Disclaimer - Yes, i own all of Alias. NOT! Usual people that i dont know.
Distribution - SD-1, Allies, Protosun, Cover Me
Setting - End of Season One. Totally AU after that. Note - Well, i promised you Syd and Vaughn 'all happy and fugitivity' didnt i? This is the third part of the affectionately titled 'Wall Series' a story i began with Cover All and Mercury Rising. email me ([email protected] or [email protected]) and i'll fill you in. Only 5 parts. There's only so much angsty bunny-fluff you can write before your teeth rot :) Oh, and i live in Edinburgh, so the details about where they live are, well, accurate as hell! Thanks to Lia and Luna for Beta-ing this. And telling me what sucks and what doesnt. Be sure and read their fics! They're pretty darn good! ** Part One - Edinburgh, Scotland, UK.
Syd's POV
I like to watch the sun rising. I always have. Here, it's like a whole other world, even though it's the same sky as back home in LA. But it may as well be a different world. I glance backwards into my room at the dark bed sheets, just beginning to glow in the morning light. The bundle under them doesnt move. I smile, softly. I swear, there is noone like my Vaughn.
It's been six months. Six months since he left LA, six incredible months since we've been together. It's the dream i always wanted. There are times when i dont think about LA at all; all there is is the two of us. Enjoying dinner, a walk in the Gardens, and just simple silence. They tell you the honeymoon period wears off. They've clearly never had my life.
I admit, it's a strange condition. To the outside world, i work for a corporate bank (some things never change, do they?) and i'm happy with my computer tech boyfriend. I sigh a little. Because, yes, i've truly never been this happy in my life.
I face the window again, to watch the horizon come alive. Amazing. A pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist, touching my stomach, pressing against me. He tilts my head back and kisses me on the side of my neck. 'Morning'
'Morning'. I moan softly; he's like nothing else in this world. There are things that still play on my mind, but they all fade in his presence.
I turn around, abandoning my desire to see the sun rise, and kiss him strongly. He breaks off to yawn, and winks at me. 'You ever have one of those days where you just wanna stay in bed?'
I laugh. 'Every day. Especially with you here. Looking at me like that.' I stand up on my tiptoes and nibble his earlobe.
He pulls away. 'I gotta have a shower. I suppose i do actually have to go to work'
'Vaughn?' He turns, and his mood visibly changes. He likes it when i call him Vaughn. I'm the only person who can. 'Want breakfast?'
'Yeah.' He sheds himself of his boxers on the way to the bathroom and i take about a dozen steps after him, but no! Dammit Sydney, you have to go to work. Not bathing with the love interest. God, i HATE my morals.
I think eggs might be an idea. Well, i cant cook much else. He's a better cook than me, he's just too polite to say anything about it. Guess that's what love is. Overlooking flaws. Which is something that's been playing on me lately; he doesnt ask about my life between when i left him in London, and when we found each other again.
I admit, it's not exactly something i'm proud of, or that i particularly want to discuss with any great frequency, but, well, it's something he has to see the importance of. 'Cause, well, if i hadnt hated it so much, would i have come steamrolling back into his life? No, probably not. Hence it's something he has to come to grips with if he wants us to be happy.
Tonight. I'll talk about it tonight. After work. We'll go out. I lean over from the cooker to open a window. The sea-breeze floats in, and the risen sun beats down on the shore. It's much nicer than i'd noticed before. Good area.
I can hear Vaughn singing in the shower, and my rational side is really beginning to grate on me. Surely it cant hurt for a few moments... right? I mean, i do need a shower. Honestly. Screw it, we have a lot of eggs. I can cook afterwards...
LATER - VAUGHN'S POV - Communic-8 (Vaughn's job)
I settle into my chair, determined to enjoy another work day, and not drift to thoughts of Sydney, like i usually do. On my desk is a picture of the two of us, about a month old, at my boss' birthday party. Ross, my work buddy appears at the door to my office. 'Hey Greg, you coming out with us tonight?'
Ross is a great guy. Reminds of of Weiss *so* much. Those two would get along famously. Ross cracks jokes at our toupee wearing boss, has a notoriously bad love life and enjoys eclairs from the bakery down the street. It's scary. I smile. I miss Weiss like hell, and all my friends from the CIA, and home. But, i'm over it. 'I can't. Me and Kate are going out tonight' Kate Jones. Syd's alias to the outside world. Patently obvious.
I'm 'Greg Walker', or at least, that's what my nameplate says. I play tennis on the weekend, go to the gym every coupla days, and have a gorgeous girlfriend. Most of the guys in the office ae jealous of me. The American guy noone has any clue about, who knows what he's doing. All the time. If they knew the computer equipment i've dealt with in the past, they wouldnt be so quick to dismiss me as some hot-shot.
Ross mock-pouts. 'Oh, come on. Could be fun. Bring Kate.'
'Can't. She wants to talk.' I squint my features, musing over what she could possibly want to talk to me about, and he feigns tears.
'I thought that meant something bad?'
'It does, normally. But not this time. There's a coupla things we gotta talk about.' I lean back. 'You gonna do some work?'
'No.' He dances about. 'Well, alright, if Colin comes by, i'll fake it!'
I laugh. Colin is the boss. Total asshole, but, well, what can you do? I pick up the phone. 'I could call Kate. See if we can meet up with you guys. Doubt she'll be up for it'
'Cool.' He exits, closing the door to a crack, and i hear him being the picture of politeness to the boss.
The phone rings, and it's picked up. 'Kate Jones' office.' Syd's secretary. A constant source of amusement to us both; that we have people who answer the phone for us. The kind of person Syd used to complain about.
'Hi Roslyn. Is Kate in?'
'Yes, Mr Walker, i'll just put her through' Silence, and a click.
'This is Kate.'
'Hey sweetie'
I can almost feel her smiling. I do the same. Something about her brings that out in me. 'Hi honey. What's up?' She yawns into the phone.
'Crap day, Syd?' I stress her name out. She likes it.
'You have no idea. Sometimes i wonder why i chose to be a banker'
'Because you did it for 7 years, and you look good in a suit.' I laugh. So does she.
'So, what can i do for you?'
'Listen, about tonight, um, Ross wants to go out to a bar and i was wondering-'
She groans, and mutters. 'Please tell me i'm not the only who's noticed that him and Weiss are like the same person? The drinking, the jokes... give him a badge, and you got the same guy.' She says it with a warm tone. 'No, go out. It's ok. We can talk when you get back, ok?'
'Thanks. Bye Syd'
'See ya.' She lowers to a whisper, and i guess that means her secretary is listening. 'I love you, Vaughn'
The phone clicks before i can reply.
BANK HQ - GYLE PARK - Syd's POV
I put the phone down, and sink my head forwards. I'll never work up the courage to tell him what's plaguing me. I dont know that he'd believe me anyway. I worry that he wouldnt care as much, knowing the things that i did to survive in a world that didnt care about me particularly much.
I know he cared, and i know he was everywhere i was; i saw him. He saw the mess i left behind. But the sickening things, like the way it felt when i beat someone to death, the way flames feel when they reflect on my skin. The little twinge of satisfaction when i'd recieve my payment. Those are the reasons i needed him so much. I was losing my humanity, and i knew it. I've always known it. And he was the only thing that could restore me to the semblance of what i once was.
I knew my reasons were selfish, at least in part, and i want him to know that. I want him to look in my eyes, into my *real* eyes, knowing all the things i've done, all the things i've thought and said. Because only then can he really love me for who i am. He can't love me now without knowing the year that brought me back to him. It's only fair he makes an informed decision...
PART 2
RYAN'S BAR - NIGHTTIME
VAUGHN'S POV
I sit back, a beer in my hand, watching the milling people inside the bar. End of the working day means that a whole lot of people are ready to get drunk. It's amusing to watch them all. I'm also attempting to ignore the goading of Ross and two other guys from work, Dave and Jason, who are on their fourth beer a piece, while i'm still languishing on my first. Call me a wuss, but i've never been in the habit of drinking. I tend to get shit-faced real fast.
And i'm worried about Sydney, i wont lie about that. Ever since we got here, we've been happy to coast along without having any real talks about what's happened between us. Mostly we just enjoy each other's company; not a bad thing to do when all there is is the two of us. I'll admit, i miss LA so much, but i love Sydney so much that it doesnt matter.
A lot of people have asked a lot of questions about us, and it's hard sometimes not to blurt out the truth. Because we promised we wouldnt. We made this choice, and i can honestly say i cant imagine my life without her. Not now.
I look up, and Ross is looking at me inquisitively. 'What's wrong?'
'Nothing. I'm just...' I drift off, my attention caught by a movement over at the bar.
His eyes follow me, the other two guys looking as well. There's this figure at the bar. One i'd know anywhere. Long dark hair, hanging loose and free. She's clad in a pair of black cargo pants and a ripped black shirt, exposing her stomach. Slung around her shoulders is a leather jacket, that i think might well be mine. She turns, and her eyes lock with mine. She smirks. I break into a smile, but it faded when i notice how many other guys in the bar are checking her out. Not to loathe them, because, well, she echoes that sense of attractiveness, but a sense of protectiveness sweeps over me.
Meanwhile, Dave and Jason are discussing how hot she is, and Ross leans over, warningly, and states, quietly, 'That's Kate. Greg's girlfriend.' They look up, confused. I nod, and rise to my feet, approaching the bar, where she's drinking a small glass of coke, and some guy is trying to talk up to her.
Reaching them, i push the guy away, warningly, and pull her to me. It's times like this i realize exactly why i feel threatened all the time. She's the most beautiful and unique creature on the planet, and a lot of guys would like to get their hands on her. She moves against me, and we dance to the low music.
She stands up and whispers. 'Hey Vaughn'
'Thought you said you werent coming?'
'I wasnt. But i had to' She backs off, pulling me back with her to the edge of the dancefloor. 'I said we needed to talk. And i really do. Now. Before i lose my nerve and it's another few years before i work up the courage to do it again'
I take her hand, leading her out of the bar, into the smoky nighttime air. The area is heaving, but it usually is. The centre of town is always full of workers trying to get off. She moves unsteadily, and it clicks. 'Are you drunk?'
She laughs. 'No. Well, yeah. But i know what i want to say. Heck, i've been practicing for months.'
I wait, expectantly for her to start, and she looks down to the ground, mumbling, as if to psych herself up.
SYD'S POV
Oh hell, what am i doing? This seemed like such a good idea when i thought of it. And the glass of wine was to pych myself up. I am such a fucking lightweight. You'd think i'd have learned from previous bad experiences with booze, but nope, here i am. Again. Preparing to shatter illusions that the man i love may be living by.
I look up, breathing heavily. 'Ok. I really do have to say all this, and i want you to listen to me, and not to interrupt, because well, it throws off everything that i have to say.' I break and he nods. 'Ok, well, um... There's a lot about me you dont know. Either because you really dont want to know, or because i've been too shy to say anything. Which, given the situation, is fair enough. It's about the year i wasnt with you, and i need to get all of this out because you can never really understand me unless you do. And i want you to love the real me. The side of Sydney Bristow that i never wanted you to see.'
He starts to talk, but i continue, oblivious. 'When i left you in London, i was desperate, heartbroken, and i knew that the CIA couldnt offer me anything, and i had lost all respect for them when they basically said that i couldnt save you because that fucking computer disk was more important than you.' I still feel angry even thinking about it. But i move on. 'I felt so lost, because all of that time, i had been thinking totally about you. I'd been consumed by my desires to save you, and i just couldnt help it. I loved you so much that i couldnt function without you. And i could deal with that.'
'Syd, i-' He struggles. But i hold up my hand, to tell him to stop.
'And then, you said we couldnt be together and i couldnt deal with it. So i left, and i rented my skills for anyone who wanted them. I found my mother, and worked for her organisation and they made me do things. Things that i'd sworn to myself that i would never do. I killed, i tortured and i did all the things that made me hate Arvin Sloane. Because you didnt want me, i felt that i had to destroy what was left of the Sydney Bristow you knew. And then i figured that you'd love the person i turned into.' I feel the tears forming and they begin to slip down my cheeks. I knew that this would be hard, but i never expected this. I dont think it was possible that i could have.
'And then, i began to truly hate myself, and i sought some kind of sanctity from what i had become. I killed almost everyone in that organisation, and i began to look for ways that i could contact you. That's when i thought of the paper bags as a real message. Some kind of screwed up way that i could make myself believe you still cared. And you did. That's when i stopped believing in my ability to do the job without hating myself and the people around me. That's when i took the dangerous missions.'
I stop for a moment. I dont know how i can phrase the true revelation without feeling like a monster. 'And that was the truly soul destroying thing. I wanted to die. I wanted to kill myself doing all these things.' I'm choked with sobs, and the sight of me like this is killing him. He wants to touch me, but i wont let him. 'Because i liked it. I liked killing people, i liked causing pain. Because it was only when i was doing those things that i wasnt utterly consumed by you.'
I stop. He backs off, so do i. There's feet between us, and the air has changed. He struggles for words, and it comes out, cold and hard. 'You're saying this was my fault?'
It shocks me to my heart. 'What? I didnt say that.' Did i? God, if that's what i meant then...
'You did. You basically said you did all those vile things because you love me so much.' He laughs, coldly. 'That isnt love, Sydney, that;s torture. And the Sydney Bristow that i fell for would never have done that. The Sydney Bristow i left my life in LA for wouldnt have done that'
The meaning of the words hits me. 'Are you saying you're sorry you did this?' No answer. Which means yes. 'Jesus, Vaughn, i *begged* you not to come with me. I knew what would happen. I knew that you'd fall out of love with me in a second, and i didnt want that. God, dont you know how i feel? Dont you know that i would die for you?' A pause while her absorbs my questions. 'Obviously not, because you didnt listen to a single fucking word i said. The Sydney Bristow you have built up in your head *doesnt exist*. I did all those things fully concious of all that was at stake. And you dont get it. You dont get me!'
I back away, slowly, devastated. He doesnt love the real me. He never has. 'You've been in love with a fucking *fantasy* Vaughn! Just like i have been. I've been in love with the Vaughn who doesnt really exist.' I turn on my heels. 'And if you hate me that much, fuck off back to LA. I dont care'
I run off down the street. God, i do care. I care so much that this is destroying me. I knew it was a bad idea, i knew that i shouldnt have said anything to him. But, if i hadnt, we would have wasted time just being nice to each other. And i dont deserve that. Neither does he.
And now i have to plan what the hell i'm going to do next.
PART 3
Note - This is an R fic for a reason. The next part is why. If you're not of legal age, please be mature and skip ahead. It's not my fault that you decided to read this.
**
Vaughn's POV
I've been walking for about an hour, down Leith Walk and my legs are burning. I shoul have taken the bus, but this gives me more time to think. Think about what a screw-up i am. Play the conversation in my head.
I'm a fool. Have i only been in love with some illusion i deluded myself into believing? Or is this feeling of helplessness because i know i've lost her? I always loved Sydney. From the moment we met, bozo red hair and all. And over the remaining time, i learned all i needed to know. I saw the evidence of all the things she did, and i loved her anyway.
I reach the door to our apartment block,, my key sliding into the lock with shaking fingers. I ascend the stairs, pausing at the door before opening it.
I hear her moving in the bedroom. Entering, i see her packing a bag, her back to me. I stop in the doorway. 'What are you doing?'
She stops short. 'What does it look like?' She turns. 'I'm leaving'
Any words are knocked out of me by the sight of her. Her tear-stained eyes, her mascara on her face. I hate myself knowing i caused it. Utter dispair.
I move towards her, extending my arms, which she pushes away. I pull her wrists, drawing her towards me, kissing her. She sinks her teeth into my bottom lip, drawing blood, shoving me off. 'Don't fucking touch me, Vaughn. Not after what happened tonight'
I step towards her again, my hands over hers, the momentum driving us backwards until she propells into the bedroom wall with a resounding, resonating thud. I pin her arms above her head. She cant go anywhere. She's strong, but i'm stronger. I resent having to do this, because a look of something resembling fear crosses her face.
She struggles against me, legs parted out of instinct against me. 'Listen to me Sydney.' She still wriggles. 'I *love* you.' She stops. 'I might not agree with your decision to tell me everything, but you were right. I needed to make an informed decision about the woman i choose to love.' I loosen my grip. 'I love the person you've been, and i love the person you are. And i'm sorry i hurt you.' I let go of her wrists. She doesnt move. Her attention is totally focused on me. 'And i have some things that i need to say to you' I dont, but these things work better from the heart.
I close my eyes. 'I was lost as well. That year without you... i lose everything. My career, my friends. And i thought that i would die without you. Because i realized what an idiot i had been to let you go. After London, i just felt empty and stupid, because i had lost the most important thing in my life.' Is it wrong to cry in front of her. Not manly? Because i think i might. 'I had that same feeling tonight. And it terrified me. Because i'm at that stage where the idea of being without you is not acceptable anymore'
I reach to wipe a falling tear from her cheek. I love her. And i accepted her. She moves her cheek into the curve of my hand, and i brush a strand of hair out of her face, behind her ear. She stops my hand with hers, and i remember myself. I remember what i'd planned to do for the last few months.
I move back from her to my dresser drawer as she stands, holding herself up against the wall. I rummage through my junk, my hands finally finding their target. I step towards her, dropping to my knees.
Her eyes sing with recognition. I hold out my target to her, the little box open. A box i've been carrying since i got to London, 6 months ago. Th real reason i was late. 'Sydney, i know we arent perfect people. I know that we have a lot of things and residial feelings to sort outand work through but-' The words fail me. It's a moment i planned in my head a thousand times, but you cant plan to fall in love like this. 'I'm not a perfect person. But you make me feel like i am. I love you. And i want to spend forever showing you how much' I pause for a moment, to place the ring on her finger. 'I know that this is a moment you're supposed to wait years for, but i know how i feel, and you make the world a beautiful place. So, Kate Jones, Sydney Bristow, will you take me, and all my faults and make me the happiest guy on Earth? Will you marry me?'
She kneels down to join me, quietly uttering a few words. 'Do you take *me* and all my faults?'
I look deep into those beautiful eyes, swallow, and say 'Yes'
Her lower lip quivers. 'Then yes' She leans over and kisses me, taking my hand.
We stand, the kiss growing, teetering back into a wall. To think i almost let her go. There is not feeling more perfect than the feeling i have right now.
She reaches down to unbuckle my belt, and i raise her arms to pull her shirt over her head, kissing her neck.
She pulls my shirt off, for closer contact, pulling my tie off and around my neck, drawing me closer. I kick off my shoes and my trousers, standing in my boxers. I kneel down again to kiss her bare stomach, undoing the button and zipper of her black trousers, pulling them off her.
I stand, teetering unsteadily on one foot to take my socks off. She does the same. We stand in our underwear, just looking for a moment, before she uses the tie to haul me back to her.
We kiss furiously, tongues duelling, teeth nipping. i unclasp her bra, letting it fall to the ground. I pull down her panties as she lowers my bozers, using her skills to reverse positions, my back thumping against the walla as she drops to her knees. Is she going to...? Yeah, she is.
I throw my head back, her mouth and her hands doing those things to me, hitting the little spots she knows make me groan.
Her mouth finds one particularly sensitive spot, causing my muscles to tighten. I growl, pulling her to her feet, pushing her backwards across the room, moving after her to the rear wall. I move away, to find protection, but she stops me, head shaking. She gasps. 'Not this time' She nibbles down my jawline, and pulls me back to her.
Shr raises her legs, wrapping them around my waist, and i hoist her upwards, entering in one stroke. It's a new sensation. This is the woman i'm spending the rest of my life with. Nothing before could ever compare. I lift her and slam her back, the frames on the wall clanging.
She bites into my neck, and my hands work all over her body. I lower my head to leave love bits down her neck, above her breasts.
We're moving fast and i think we're becoming too much for the other to handle. She arches upwards, her spine curving, taking me out, then in. God, this is-
She screams, and falls forwards, her head on my shoulder. I can feel the rapid falling and rising of her chest, and the contracting of muscles. I move quickly back, before i drop her.
We fall. And i come almost immediately, resting my head on her. This was so different. This was something else entirely.
When i'm calm, i pull out of her, and she whimpers in distress.
I pull the covers around us, and she wraps her arms around me, kissing my neck.
I lean over and whisper. 'I'm sorry'
'For what?'
'For being such a shit earlier.'
She laughs breathlessly, flushed. 'I think i can get over that. I mean, you did propose, and-' She trails off, gesturing to us. 'That was incredible.'
I'm smiling a mile wide, but it's not self-satisfaction. No... it's because i've never been this happy before. 'I know'
PART 4
**
THE NEXT MORNING - SYD'S POV
When i wake up, the room is quiet. I roll over to find myself staring into those gorgeous green eyes of his. 'What time is it?' It feels late. And it's Wednesday. Work day. I personally don't care today, but, well, what can you do about it?
'11am.' He winks mischeviously. I sit up in a panic, but he pulls me back down. 'You're not going in today. I already called both our jobs. We're sick.'
I smile, i can't help it. 'What's wrong with us?'
He coughs. 'Cold. Bad one. Apparently the doctor suggested we should stay in bed all day.'
'He did, did he?' Vaughn's innocent smile makes me laugh. 'Would this be Dr Vaughn, by any chance?'
'Yup. And a very wise man he is.' He kisses me, and i giggle. God, have i ever felt this good? Nope. And i had convinced myself last night that i was an idiot, that i was going to lose him. And, yeah, i'm a idiot, but, well, i'm lying here with the guy i'm going to marry. The one guy in the world who makes everything OK. Who i love.
He pulls back, and i rest my head on the pillow, just looking at him. Enjoying the moment. Enjoying the fact that i'm wearing the most beautiful ring in the whole world on my left hand. Who would have thought it, huh? Guess that means that two years really can mean everything, even when taken out of 28 years of living. He gets up, looking over at me. 'Want something to eat, sweetie?'
'Yes. God, i am *starving*.' He manages not to look to pleased with himself as he gets out of bed, making his way through to the kitchen. I admire him as he exits the room. Thud-worthy. Moving like a guy who's happy. He almost skips. I'd do the same if i could move.
A few moments later, he returns, a bowl of Coco Pops and orange juice on a tray. He places them down in front of me, kisses me on the forehead, and returns to the kitchen. I eat ravenously. I love chocolate. And juice.
I look down at my hands, seeing the ring in it's full glory. It's beautiful. White gold, maybe? I'm not the biggest fan of gold. It's tacky and... shit, it's platinum, isnt it? I've stole enough fancy shit to know the difference. Wow! It's set with an emerald, and ringed with little diamonds. Small, but that's how i like it. Must have cost a fortune.
He comes back, an identical breakfast on his plate, coffee balanced perfectly on his tray. He flops down on the bed, and yawns. I look over. 'Is this platinum?'
He nods, shyly. 'Nothing but the best for my girl.' He flashes one of those bone dissolving smiles at me. I think i just lost control of my muscles. I mean, really! I lean back, and sip on my juice, watching him carefully. 'What are you looking at?'
'You.' I can't help it. 'I was just thinking. About little things. Like the guest list.'
'A little fast isnt it?' He pours me a cup of coffee, black.
'Nope.' How do i say this without seeming like an ungrateful bitch? A disclaimer helps. 'Don't take this the wrong way, but i was thinking about how it's going to go down, and i just realized that i don't want Kate Jones to marry Greg Walker. When we get married, i want to stand there and tell the world that i'm Sydney Bristow, and i love Michael Vaughn. And i know that Dad and Weiss probably can't come without bringing the US Government with them, but it'd be nice if-' I trail off. He knows what i mean.
'I know. I was thinking about that too.' He frowns. Shit, don't frown, not today. 'I want Weiss there. He helped us, and he was my best friend for years. And if it wasnt for your Father, i wouldnt be here with you now. That *is* how it should be. And i want to be Vaughn when we get married. I guess we'll figure all that stuff out.' He lies back, but then bolts up, face paled. 'Shit'
'What?' Crap, what the hell is-
'I just realized; my father-in-law is Jack Bristow. I'm kinda scared.' He winks, and i laugh.
'Don't worry. I doubt he'll kill you. I may have to have a word, but i dont see it being a problem.' He breaks out into a smile, and he leans over to kiss me, softly, my coffee sloshing out of the cup. Oh, well, it happens. 'However, one good thing comes out of this.'
He glances at me, confused. 'Yeah?'
'I finally get to test my Weiss and Ross are the same person theory'
'Yeah. Um, how exactly do we explain to people when we, that is, Syd and Vaughn, get married. And not Kate and Greg.'
'Um... we'll sort it out, like you said.' Soon. But not now. It's a day off. I have plans for him...
PART 5
A/N - HEALTH WARNING - Fluff can seriously damage your dental and mental health. Besides having truly awful teeth with a need for a filling, it will cause a brief case (certainly brief in my case) of non-angstitus hoeitus disease. Which is crippling in the case of an angst writer, good for all the utterly fabulous people who followed this story from it's inception in Cover All, through Mercury Rising and to here, the special day of Neptune. You guys made all of this worthwhile, and i couldnt have gotten through 25 (! yes, really) parts of this. You guys are the best set of bumpers, reviewers and evil species of lurkerdom that exist. (SD-1 Thank you message)
Dot
**
VILLAGE OUTSIDE EDINBURGH. THAT SPECIAL DAY, LOL (APPROX 6 MONTHS LATER)
SYDNEY'S POV
Oh crap. Oh crap. I'm getting married today! The single thought that occupied my brain is now spreading like wildfire. Nerves are normal, i know this, but tell that to my upset stomach. Adreniline. Dammit!
I lean over the toilet again, precariously. A knock comes on the door. 'Sydney? You ok in there?'
I turn to the door. 'Just nerves, Dad. Really bad ones.' I still can't believe my father is here. With me. Watching me get married. It just totally eludes me how i even got to this. I'm running my vows over in my head. We decided to do our own. It just seems more personal than reciting the lines other people wrote. Reciting them and trying to put the adaquate feelings into them. Unfortunately, i seem to have totally forgotten mine.
The bathroom door opens. 'Sydney?' I feel his hand on my sweat-soaked hair. I look up. 'I'm supposed to be nervous, right? That's part of how it goes?'
My dad laughs. He never laughs, and it seems appropriate that it's on the best day of my life. 'Yes. If you werent nervous, then i'd be worried. It's part of the whole thing.'
I smile. Reassuring him that i'm ok. He smirks. 'I just got off the phone with Weiss. Apparently Vaughn is in the same state as you.'
I remember the panicked feeling that he wasnt going to come. I sent emails. Coded emails to a private server. Phone calls would have been too risky. I kept panicking that because they were junk emails, he'd ignore them. Then, 3 days ago, i open my front door to find my Dad, suit bag slung over his shoulder, Weiss in tow. It's strange how things often work out, isnt it?
'I'm so wierd about all this, i mean, i'm freaking out totally.' He smiles again. I love that my father is here for the single defining moment of my life.
He taps his watch. 'Now, come on. If you dont calm down, then you wont get your dress on.' He holds it out to me.
My whole body is humming. 'I know, i can't get married in my underwear.' I smile, and it threatens to split my cheeks. I move into my room, closing the door. Time to get ready.
VAUGHN'S POV
Ok, breathe. This is totally normal. You're meant to feel like you're going to faint at the nearest opportunity. Weiss is finding it hysterical that i'm about to be sick, and Ross is joking with him, while they try to carry on a conversation with Jack. And, i was right. They are almost identical people.
It was difficult to explain to Ross about things. Well, it would be would it. Without going into intricate details, i fed him a usual company line.
'Ross, um, well, i'm marrying Kate, but, well, we'll be called something different on the day. We're in witness protection.' He thought it sounded proposterous. Which is totally understandable, i would think the same thing were i him. If i could think at all.
I dont think i should have drunk at all last night. It's just making me worse. I think i'm going to totally freak out. I flump down on the bed of my hotel room, my tux already half on. Weiss hangs up and sits next to me. 'Mike, you ok?'
I nod, but then shake my head. 'I'm getting married in half an hour. Which is scaring the crap out of me. I mean, she's perfect, you know, i mean she's *Syd* and i love her more than i could ever understand or imagine, but it just seems strange.'
Ross leans over, whispering. 'So, what are your real names? So i dont look like an ass.'
Weiss laughs. 'Since Mike is a little freaked out, i'll do the honors. Michael Vaughn. And Sydney Bristow. My cutest little friends in the whole world.'
I laugh, despite my lurching stomach. ''Cute'? Syd will kill you if she hears you call her that.'
He stands up, winks, and does a little dance. 'Even on today? Your excessively happy day? Syd will be so messed up and happy that she wouldnt notice. Mind you, i'm a bit scared of her, so i might not.'
I stand. 'I need to get the rest of this tux on. The car'll be here any sec.'
I run into the bathroom, tux under arm. I catch my reflection in the mirror. And i like it. My eyes are shining and i have that dozily happy look on my face. I'm in love, and nothing on Earth could ever change that.
I pull on my suit, dusting myself down, and gel my hair down. A way to combat the nervousness. I open the door, and step out, spinning like a fashion model. 'What do ya think?'
Weiss and Ross glance at each other. Weiss takes it. 'Hideous. I mean, really!.' He laughs. 'She'll love you. I mean, really, you're going to have to fight her off.'
I sink down onto the bed. A car honks outside. My heart rate just skipped about 3 beats. 'You got the rings?'
Weiss nods affirmative, and self-conciously straightens his suit, which is rather binding on him. But, who cares, he came, and all is fabulous. I open the door, almost tripping over my mushy legs. This is it. I'm marrying the woman of my dreams. Today.
I smile, and Ross closes the door behind us.
30 MINS LATER - THE WEDDING ITSELF.
VAUGHN'S POV
Ok, she's 5 minutes late. Oh god, oh holy heck. What if she doesnt show? No, Vaughn, compose yourself. She'll be here. She will. She promised you a long time ago that she'd be yours. Now, dont think about how late she is, think about the honeymoon. Nice. She likes France, and, well, so do i. I'm playing everything through in my head, while Weiss looks around hurridly.
The church is empty, but it's a private moment. No use inviting the world, although i would have liked to. Like i told her a long time ago, i want to tell the whole world how much i love her. And how i live to be hers. It sounds sappy, but it's true.
I hear a noise at the rear of the room. She's here! I turn around to face the altar, because i know you're supposed to savor it. I'm not supposed to see her. Even though i want to. The organ pipes up, and i close my eyes to prevent my vision blurring beyond recognition. I can hear my heart in my ears, pounding away, and i can sense that she's only a few feet from me.
It stops, and i turn to see her, all concious breath driven out of me. God, she is the most exsquisite creature. The dress is long, but not all puffy like i figured. It's white, but there's a faint hint of lilac threaded through it. Syd loves lilac. If it was proper, she'd have had the whole dress like that.
I wouldnt have minded. Hell, i'd marry her in flannel. Jack looks at me, and i know the look. It screams 'you hurt her and i'll kill you. But, well, welcome to the Bristows' I wish my parents could have been here. My dad would have loved Syd, i know it. And my mom? I couldnt get through to her. She moved, and i dont know where to. There's time for that. Time for her to meet Sydney. I have a very long time. She's the one, i know that.
She smiles at me, pure joy in those expressive, darkly beautiful eyes of hers. And it stimulates my already over-active body to be utterly ecstatic. The priest looks up, clearing her throat. 'Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the joyous union of Sydney and Michael. If any person knows of any reason why these two should not be wed, let him speak now, or forever hold their peace.' Silence. I swear, everyone must be able to hear how stressed i am.
The priest smiles. 'Now, Sydney and Michael have decided to form their own vows, to demonstrate the depth of feeling they have for on another. Michael?'
My mind is totally blank. I spent 3 months getting it perfect, and i've lost it. But, that makes this so much more personal. I cough, and just study her. The words flood into my head, and i just let go. 'Sydney... There's so much that i wanted to say today, but it all seems redundant now that we're here. Together.' She nods. 'And i wish that i could put into words how much i love you, and how being with you makes everything in this world so perfect that i can't comprehend it. But i can't. I spent 2 years loving you from a distance, and building up the way i felt, until i got to this. The two years made me understand, finally, that i couldnt love anyone like i love you. And then... the year. This fantastic year that i spent with you, living in our own little world. A world that i never want to leave. So, here i am, telling you that i can't bare to be without you anymore.' This is SO hard. Forming the words to made her see how i fell is the hardest thing i've ever done. Because no words can fully realize the scope of how i feel. I indicate to Weiss. He hands me the simple gold band, which i slide onto her finger. I whisper softly. 'I love you.'
I look now at our tiny company. Jack looks like he's going to make an expression, Weiss is bubbling away, and he gives me a thumbs up, sniffling. Ross looks like he's going to get like Weiss in a minute. And Sydney? The tears in her eyes make me realize i must have gotten it completely correct.
SYDNEY'S POV
Oh, hell. I'm about 3 seconds away from being Mrs Michael Vaughn, and i'm not scared. Not anymore. The things he said... they just made me totally complete, and i can't hide that fact, not now.
'Sydney?' The priest looks at me. It's my turn already? But Vaughn said such nice things. What the heck can i say?
I expend a little laugh at the thought, and attempt to compose my mind. 'Ok. I had all these things thought of, things that i wanted to say. This long speech, kinda like you. I mean, it was Tolstoy long.' He smirks. 'And then, now, looking at you, being here with you, i realize now that i couldnt. I can't express in words to anyone how i feel. It's like this giant hole i carried around with me is fixed by you, and all the times i thought of you, and all the things we've done in the three years we've known each other have suddenly become something else entirely. Because i'm here. Standing looking at the man that i love so much that nothing i say could ever make you see.' The tears begin to slide down my cheeks. Tears of happiness, exhaustion and love. 'The guy i searched my entire life for, and here you are. And i love you so much that i could never see anyone else as anything resembling you.' I'm rambling, i think, but i thought so hard. I thought about him the whole time i knew him. 'I told you once that i was consumed by you. And it's never been more true than at this moment.' I take the ring from a barely contained Weiss, who's crying more than i am, and place it on his finger. 'I love you Vaughn.'
Silence. 'Then, without further ado, i not pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride' I smile. Vaughn leans over to me, and i can see myself in his green eyes. We kiss, softly, his lips producing just the lightest sensation. Adding to everything. We seperate, and move away together, our hands clasped together.
Perfection. I love him so much. We exit the church, and he leans over to me. 'I love you'
I wipe a tear from my cheek with his hand, which has pinned mine. 'I love you too'
AND THAT, AS THEY SAY, IS THE END
A/N - I love anyone who stuck with this fic. I mean it, you are the sole reason i write. (I mean, besides the fact that i love to write)