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| : : : Nick & the Sea Grass : : : |
| : : : back home : : : |
| Picture this...Nick's truckin along on his 45 foot yacht. And hits seagrass. We were lucky to record his conversation with the Coast Guard. Nick: My boat won't move. Coast Guard: Did you try starting it sir? Nick: The motor's on but it still won't move. CG: Is it in the water sir? Nick: Am I an idiot? CG: just trying to gover all the bases, sir. Nick: Yes, the motor's on and it's in the water but it won't move. CG: Are you stuck in the grass? Nick: Ok...NOW who's the moron? I said I was in the water, not in my backyard. CG: No sir...sea grass. Nick: WTF is sea grass? CG: It's a protected underwater habitat common to the coasts of Florida. You're in Florida, right? Nick: How many times do I have to tell you? I'M IN THE WATER! CG: Sir...check to see if there's any sea grass tangled in the propellar. Nick: ARE YOU NUTS?! THAT THING'S MOVING! I could chop my hand off! CG: Turn the boat off sir. Nick: Oh..hold on. (Sounds of many things crashing over and a couple cuss words followed by "TURN THE DAMN KEY!" and then a "Oh, turn that damn Nsync shit off too while you're at it".) **BACKGROUND CONVERSATION** Nick: Do you see anything? 1st Unidentified Male Voice: I can't see shit. Nick: Is it green? 2nd UMV: No...it's brown. Nick: Get in the water and look under the boat. 3rd UMV: It's your damn boat, you do it. 4th UMV: It'll mess up my hair. 1st UMV: Fine, I'll do it. Nick: Grab the mask, put it on your face and see if there's anything under the boat. I got the Coast Guard on the line. (Couple seconds go by..Nick gets back on with the Coast Guard) Nick: Looks like there's something stuck in the motor. Can we hurry this up? There's a shitload of boats waiting to get by... CG: Is it green sit? Nick: They're all different colors. CG: Not the boats sir...the stuff that's stuck in the motor. Nick: Oh..KEV, IS IT GREEN? Kevin (now identified as 1st UMV): Ya, looks like it. Nick: Ya, looks like it. CG: Sir...you are stuck in sea grass. Nick: Sea grass? You people don't mow this shit? 3rd UMV: Sea GRASS? Hey Kev, cut some and bring it up here, I wanna see if I can light it. Kevin: Shut up AJ. CG: Do you know where you are? Nick: I-AM-IN-THE-WATER! Jesus Christ, do you listen? 2nd UMV: Nick...watch your mouth. CG: I meant what is your current position? Latitude and Longitude? Nick: Hell, I dunno...Dude, where the hell are we? 2nd UMV: In the Keys moron. Nick: I KNEW that...WHERE in the Keys? 4th UMV: You live here, you should know. Nick: I live in Marathon and there's a big bridge. 4th UMV: What's the name of the bridge? Nick: I dunno..but it looks like it's a few miles long. CG: That's the 7 Mile Bridge sir. Nick: Oh..makes sence. 2nd UMV: So much for naming it N Control, eh? Nick: Shut up Brian. CG: Sir, you'll need to leave the engine off...we'll send someone out there. Nick: Okay, we'll wait for ya then. *Nick's phone call to his father is recorded off someone's radio scanner...* Bob: Hello? Nick: Dad...I'm stuck in sea grass. Bob: Wtf is sea grass? Don't they mow that shit? Nick: Don't be a smartass, Dad...it's an underwater...habitat...thing. Bob: What the hell you doin in it? Nick: I got stuck. Bob: On purpose? You weren't trying to cut it were you? Nick: No...I can't get the boat out and we're blocking marine traffic. Bob: Then pull over and let 'em pass. Nick: Dad..it's not the same as driving. Bob: Thank God, I tought you wrecked the car. Nick: Dad..I said I was on the boat. Bob: Oh...then just drive home....where'd you park? Nick: I-AM-IN-THE-WATER...Jesus Christ don't you listen!? Brian: (in background): NICK! WATCH YOUR MOUTH! AJ: (breathes in deep) This is good... Howie: Is salt water good for the hair? Kevin: IS SOMEONE GONNA HELP ME OUTTA THE GODDAMN WATER?! Bob: Who's there? Nick: The other guys. Bob: How the hell'd you fit all them in your car? Nick: ....Nevermind *click* |
| If you know of Nick and have followed his many great antics through out the years, you'll clearly know why this story is so funny. And then you'll immediatly think that he takes after his father... *cough* But who wouldn't think he's not the brighest crayon in the box when he's got a facial expression like this!? |
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| doy! |
| Here is a great quote said by a great Nick Carter poser - - - I LOVE BOATS!!!!!!! |