Lisa & Rob
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Anyway, someone pulled my pants down for a damn prank! I am not a fool, you bas-turds! Do you take me for a foooooollll?! NOOOOO! I can hunt you down with my Squishie 9,000 Squrit Gun! You can get frostbite pretty damn bad! Anyway, my ass got such bad sunburn, I got 5 degree burns on my cheeks, plus a seashell stuck between my CRACK.
After I was cured for my burned bum, I met a man who lived in a tin can. I later found out his name was Quasi the Almighty Moto. He told me he became like this, because he fell into a can of radioactive playdoh while he was flying through the sky on his Nimbus 2000, when all of a sudden the ENGINE FAILED! And KA-POOT!, he fell into a can of radioactive playdoh. Then all the deformities started to begin. His eye started to get very very large, while the other got extemely small and drooped down a little. He started to bald quickly, and only had five snaggle toofs. He told me that he hadn't always looked this pucetrid, and told me the whole story.
"When I was younger, I was the most beautiful man in the entire village of my people. I was named Mr. Hotstuff five years in a row! But this unfortunate accident has left me like this! When I was done with highschool, I decided to get an edumacation at the dumpster behind Domino's. I later got a degree in Garbage and started to work at a Poop Plant. But one day when I was on the job, I came across a can with a glowing light coming from within. When the engine decided to fail, it threw me off of my Nimbus 2000, and I fell into the can! As a result of that, the deformity started right away. It has left me with one big eye, one small eye and a deformed face. My dental hygene went down the pooper too. I am now plauged with five snaggle toofs, and a half of a tounge. The radio active playdoh also changed my clothes. I now wear hot pink pants to cover my buttocks, and a olive green shirt that covers my chest. I also have a huge nose, with one nostral in the middle of it. Also, it made my belly button an outie, I have three toes on my right foot, and eleven toes on my left."
I listened in awe as he kept on explaining himself, and then he started to explain his occupation to me.
"I own a gas station now, called Quasi's Generic 7-11. My other part time job is the Poop Plant, like I already mentioned. I sell Squishies and hot dogs all year round. I don't have enough money for a house, so I live in the back room of my store in a tent. I have a small TV that only gets the channels that have Christopher Lowell, Richard Simmons and Jenny Jones. It gets very lonely, and while my only mode of transportation is my Big Wheel, while I go on vacations to the other side of the street, I attach a trailer to the end of my Big Wheel, and I put everything in there. I also breed camels in the summer months."
I was in complete shock. There was no way...this guy had the same hobbies as I did! I freaked out!
"Mr. Moto, are you interested in a buisness partner? Because I'd love to work with you!"
Moto agreed, and they became best friends, business partners, and lovers.
The freakin' End.
Name ; Akil Shak-a-Khan
Age ; 46
DOB ; Some month/Some day/Some year
Current Residence ; Racine, Wi.
Birthplace ; Arabia.
Weight ; 140
Height ; 3'10"
Eye color ; Brown
Hair color ; Brown
Favorite...
Singer ; Liberache.
Band ; Flying Burrito Brothers
Actor ; Apu, & Arabian guy on Disney movie "Aladdin
Actress ; Anyone Arabian.
Best Friends ; Quasi, Ronald, Hamburgler, Laughing Scientist, Eye-Poppin Grandma, Ugly Troll Triplets, Joker, Batman, Lisa, Robert, Josh, James, Angie, Oscar Mayer & the Icee people.
Song ; "If I Were a Rich Man" from Fiddler On the Roof
Musical ; The Little Arabian that Could.
Quote ; "Go home and die"
