Git Along Li'l Doggie!™
Well howdy there stranger! Come make yourself warm by the campfire and help yourself to a can o beans while we sing some cowboy songs.
"Bai Bai Mr SOMETHING'S Cowpie...."
Nar, that ain't a cowboy song! We'll let Jem here sing you a real ol' fashioned ditty.
Whoooey! That there song was mightily well sung Jem! Quick now, somebidy tip the man fer singin' so nice and perty!
Wall look there! It's Rubay's bucking bronco approaching now!
Did y'all know that Ruby could sit on Buffoon's back for a whole five minutes without fallerin off?
.....
Wall, no he doesn't exactly MOVE while she's a-sittin' there. What would he want to go and do that fer? I don't ker what you say..Rubay's as fine a cowgirl as ever saddled a saw horse or my name ain't Bungalow Bill.
»«Quote of the Random Moment by Ruby»«
"The !*#$% horse!!!!!!! He threw me ^*@! off!!!!!I'm gonna $#!*$ his #$# from here to the bloody *&^#moon!!!!" [Ruby looks at wide-eyed, innocent children standing around her in shock and forces a smile on her face that doesn't quite cover her exasperation or embarrassment] "Sooooo...who here likes cheese??? Anyone?"
»«Ruby's Advice on Riding a Wild Steed»«
"I'll tell you what: you wanna ride a horse? Go on a merry-go-round! They don't #*^ on your shoes or throw you off on your #^&*!"
»«Five Uses For Saddle 
Soap by
Rubay»«
1. Christmas presents for those relatives that you bloody HATE!
2. Scrubby lather to get the horse !#*^ off your really ^%#expensive#%^ cowboy boots.
3. If you wrap it carefully in a cardboard box and carry it in your purse, when you whip it out and act #%&*& mad, with any luck, bystanders will think it's a bomb which can get you stuff.
4. Enhancer for those feminine curves that some of us have lost because we are so fit and muscley. *Wink*
5. Spot remover to get the horse %#~!@ that you ^$#* fell into off the *~!#%$& buttox area of your *&^#$@## jeans.
»«Rubay's Idea of an Evening Befitting a Cowgirl»«
"#!@#@# sitting on a sofa with the A/C on, watchin a sappy ol' Western movie, fully conscious that there ain't no bloody ##$%@#%@% from any horse gonna get on me."
»«One Last Word From Rubay»«
"#$% off you, *^#$# ^@@# of a horse and go to #@#$%/!"
Bai Bai Mr SOMETHING'S Cow Pie®
(in other words click ^ to return to my wonderful main page)