Today is the FIRST day of Spring! (so the weatherman said last night)

And I am EXTREMELY happy about that!!!

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Yet on another note, what I am NOT happy about is that I just had my father phone me and he revealed that my brother and his wife had a new baby girl who was born!!! and not even recently ... they never told me about it?!?! I only just a bit ago, found out, today, that it had happened as long as 2 months ago!!

I emailed my brother and he replied saying that he figured I didn't care, that i already knew!

Of course they never really told me about their 1st son being born, neither (Gabriel).

But of this new birth, their new daughter "Hannah Noel" (sp?), I really know nothing! People do not call, do not keep me "abreast" of events. I am in a state of disconnection. Life moves on across the world as if I was merely a spectator.

And I feel isolated, stuck up here, just very alone.

Like nobody even knows I still exist...

I don't even know if my nephew knows I exist?

Will their new daughter ever be told about me? or the rest of our family (my other brother, or anyone else in my life in the future)? I'd tell everyone about anyone I might meet. If I ever had children ... who do you think would be the first to find out? Of course my family would. And, certainly it would not take 2 months from the time it happened!

Sometimes I wonder if even the rest of my family (parents, brothers, extended family) even REMEMBER that I do still exist?

Life up here is incredibly lonely ... even super-incredibly lonely :-(

My parents drive down in their RV to NC to visit my brother, his wife, their new family, all the time! At least once a year. Yet I never get visited, nor offers to visit! (Aside from the fact that I am financially unable to go visit anyone ... on my own anyways)

Yet I am left to wonder if anyone still even wants anything to do with me?