The Prophet's
Corner
.......................
Where You and Your Questions Matter
Welcome to this new forum of wisdom and guidance.
In recent weeks the wind has whispered in my ear, the soil has shaken under my feet, and the World Spirit of 42 has spoken of a time of troubles for Quadragenta Doites and the True Way. Those who once knew their Way are now lost in the desolate Salt Plains of Spritual Stagnation. Feeling the very Earth urging me to action, I went into a deep meditative trance to discover what the 42 needed from my humble hands. I have only just emerged from my state of Deep Spiritual Communion. The mists of Self-Discovery and Imparted Knowledge are still clearing, but I knew that I had to reach out to the Community of True Believers to bring solace to their troubled souls.
Thus, I have established this portal of communication. Seek knowledge, find comfort, and discover the community of 42 in this page. I am at your command, to do as the 42 wishes me to do do, under the Guidance of the World Onion, through which we are all connected.
The 42 in me salutes the 42 in you. Go well, and breathe deeply.
The Divine Prophet
From her bungalow, 10 February 2005
Why does leather get ruined if it gets wet? Cows stand in the rain all the time.
Sincerely,
Dame Jaime
This is a question that had puzzled many a thoughtful devotee such as yourself. I have consulted the highest spritual wisdom, the deepest divine knowledge, and the sacredest scientific facts in a quest to find the truth of this matter. My only answer is to say, that there is an answer in all questions, and in fact if you search in your own question, you shall find the answer to your question. We often believe that without our heartbeat, we would die. This simply is not true, for, it is the time between the heartbeats that keeps us alive. Consider black and white text: it is not the black letters that contain the true essence of the word, but the space around the words that we see, for, if one is writing in black ink, it is not the black that reaches the eye, but the white space about the black. Therefore it is important to always consider the not-being in every kernel of are-being, was-being, were-being and is-being. In the same way, it is not the black spots of a cow that make it the most Revered and Holy of Creatures, but the white around the black spots, and for this reason leather is ruined when it is off the cow, but not while it is on the cow.
Salutations,
The Divine Prophet
Philosophers have long debated the issue of the nature of the universe, and whole tomes and sets of tomes and libraries of tomes contain suggestions about the answer to you so important question. I am a simple woman; I love the rain, the snow, the sun, and Slushies; therefore, is hall attempt to explain the universe to you in a very simple way. The universe is incomprehensibly vast, much like the game of Monopoly in its neverending cycle, much like the sport of Curling because the Canadians always seem to win. Other than that, there is only the six and the seven, which are just metaphors for the laws of the universe, and which, when improperly applied, can lead to disaster and chaos. Thus, I urge you to turn from your need for examples and to embrace the truth and light that is Peanut Butter and Jam, that is Dairy and Soy, that is Five without Two, &c.
Ever your guide,
D.P.
Please explain the nature of the universe and use two examples.
Sincerely,
An English Major
The idea that sitting too close to the TV can cause eye damage is an old wives' tale, but, according to specialist Cecil Adams, it is an old wives' tale that may be true. "To be on the safe side," writes Adams, "some eye doctors say you shouldn't let your kids get closer than five feet to the TV screen, the room shouldn't be pitch black, etc. But the intention is to prevent eye fatigue, not eye damage." Other eye doctors believe that sitting too close to the TV can cause eye damage. They belong to a school of ophthamologists who believe that many of modern society's problems with eyesight are caused by enivronmental factors such as TV and computer displays. Eye strain wears down the eye's ability to focus, possibly causing myopia. Adams points to a study of Eskimos in Barrow, Alaska for evidence. Soon after being exposed to TV in the 1960s, incidences of myopia skyrocketed, from a zero percent incidence rate in eskimos age 56 and up to a 59 percent incidence rate in children 20 and under. In my personal opinion, we should follow Damien Rice's example and look to our Eskimo friends for truth.
Yours Truly,
D.P.
Is it true that sitting too close to the TV will hurt
your eyes?
Sincerely,
A Devoted Fan
(Copyrighted by BBC Worldwide/Reuters)
Do you think Jesus was hot?
Sincerely,
Sister Ecurius
I guess the question is, do you think Jesus was hot?
Your Friend,
DP