Favorite Scenes
Even though I love the whole thing, these are the scenes that really make me laugh. Plus some of the best one-liners.
Of course: IT WASN'T ME!
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P- Congratulations. You're all dead. Third time in a row Hackman. Nice move on that course correction.
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The Right Way:
G- I'm a decorated astronaut, I don't make those kind of mistakes.
F- Oh now wait a minute. Look I'll show ya.
I'll enter the same calculations using what we like to call The Right Way.
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F- (First Voice)Pssh Commander are you sure we're headed towards the planet Earth? It looks a heck of a lot like the sun.
(Second Voice) Of course I'm sure you fool. How dare you question my authority.
Pssh Ahhhah. Morning!
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It was an Accident:
Bud- Apollo 13 was an accident.
F- Sure, sure it was. Just like the Captain of the Exxon Valdez didn't
see Alaska floatin' there right in front of him.
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Isolation Chamber:
- Initializing 24 hour clock.
F- Oh Oh AhAhAh Hello! (echo)
GP- What the heck?
F- Is that you? (echo)
Yes, it's me. (echo)
Prove it! (echo)
I asked you first. (echo)(echo)
Yodalodolohehee (echo)
Yodalodolohuhuu (echo)
Yodolodoloodoluudulu (echo) -echos overlap
Oh John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt (J.J.J.H.S.) his name is my name too. Whenever we go out the people always shout:
THERE GOES J.J.J.H.S.!!!
GP- Ohh! (relief) He stopped.
F- (whispering) -people always shout J.J.J.H.S.!!!!
GP- Ahhhhh!!!
F- J.J.J.H.S.!!! G-Ahhhhh!!! 12x
After sixth time: -Paul, this isn't human.
F- (1st Voice) -man-clears throat- English accent: I say Freddie it was absolutly lovely for you to
invite us out of London for the weekend old boy.
(2nd Voice) -woman: Yes, It's smashing to be here Freddie.
(Normal Voice): Well, It's my pleasure to have you here Mr. and Mrs. Plumpton.
GP- Iyiyiyi Iyiyiyi Background: Fred's voices
-Day's over. Let's get 'em out.
GP- Somebody stole my pants.
F- 1st: Yes you did.
2nd: I did not and I'm telling you I never will.
Normal: Ah could you guys give us just a few more minutes I just started the third act.
2nd: Yes, close the door it's bloody chilly in here.
1st: Yes, close the door you fat.
2nd: Don't use that word around the children.
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Fun:
B- Have fun kid.
F- haha Fun is my Chinese neighbor's middle name.
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Coin:
Bud- How 'bout just sayin' `Thanks for the cool coin Bud it really means a lot to me.`
F- Oh yeah, thanks for the cool coin Bud it really, what was the rest?
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Launch:
-- Houston we're getting close here. Initializing final checklist.
B- Fuel Cells
J- Fuel Cells check
B- Hydrolics
J- Hydrolics check
B- CDPS panel 6
J- MMU1
B- IPL
F- AT&T?
J- PPU mode 4
F- KFC?
B- DDP
F- YMCA?
J- GDC in 5
F- BMW?
B- CNS
F- CNN?
B- CNS
F- IHOP?
J- Randall, computer navigation systems
F- I have to go tinkle!
J- CNS check
- Ecliss
J- Ecliss check
- APU's
- APU's a go
- Abort switch
J- Abort switch on
- Initializing final launch sequence
- P- Alright people lookin' good T minus 10. Let's light her up.
F- No, not yet!
- 10, 9
F- 15,
- 8, 7,
F- 29,
- 6,
5, F- There's a fly in my helmet!
4, F- It just went up my nose!
3, F- Whaa
2, F- Whaa
1, F- Ahchoo!!!
-We have lift off 0232GMT!
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No Gravity:
Hey! I'm floating up in the air Like a little bird, like a crow (crow caw: Ahh Ahh) Hey looky there. There's a big field of corn down there everybody.
B- Engaging artificial gravity in 3...2,1.
F- Eww!
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The Song: Whole World in His Hands (Fred Randall version of course!)
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Hypersleep:
F- I don't know about this hypersleep thing.
J- It's perfectly safe. Besides you can't stay awake for eight months, the boredom would drive you crazy.
F- Eight months? The eyecrust alone could be dangerous.
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End of Hypersleep:
-February, March, April, May, June, July, August Whoopsie wake up time. Hypersleep over
B- C'mon Ford I'm starving. Randall why are dressed like that?
F- Ooahhh
B- What have you been doing?
F- Oh ah just making coffee. You know I'm a morning person. Good Morning Julie.
B- What happened here?
F- Well ah I'll be the first to say that ah it looks like we've got space rats.
B- Space rats. You've been awake.
F- No! It wasn't me. It was the hairy one.
J- (gasps)
F- Him! Naughty Ohohahahahaohoheeheee. Well it's obvious he's very sorry and he doesn't want to talk about it anymore.
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On Mars:
J- My God!
B- It's amazing.
F- We're the first to ever stand on Mars.
B- Now you're the biggest idiot on two planets.
F- We're the first to talk on Mars. Hey Julie, I'm the First to walk backwards on Mars. First to blow a kiss on Mars Hey, you're the first to blush on Mars.
B- How'd you like to be the first guy to die on Mars.
F- Well sorry Mr. Fist to Show Inappropriate anger on Mars.
B- I'm not listenin' Randall. I'm turnin' this radio off!
F- Well, You're the first to not listen to me on Mars.
B- NaNaNaNaNaNaNa
F- Please talk to me.
B- NaNaNaNaNa
F- I wanna get to know you better for the first time on Mars.
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Windshield:
F- Hey! There's no airbag. What if I go flyin' through the windshield?
B- Randall, there is no windshield.
F- Oh, well what if I go flyin' through the front of my helmet?
B- I die happy.
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American Flag/Boxers:
F- Don't worry Commander. I've got another flag. A high flying flag. A proud flag. A wonderful flag.
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Walking on Mars:
F- Hey, Commander?
B- Yeah.
F- Do you believe in UFO's at all or..?
B- Sure I believe in UFO's.
F- You do?
B- Yeah, the one followin' me.
F- Huh? Oh I get it. Your funny Commander. HaHaHa Hey, Commander?
B- Yeah.
F- When I was a kid at night I used to think that there was a Baker under my bed. Did you ever have anything under your bed?
B- No.
F- Well did you ever bend down and look?
B- No.
F- Well how do you know there wasn't a Baker under your bed?
B- Randall, Shut up.
----later on----
F- Hey, Commander?
B- Yeah.
F- I seem to be experiencing these intense intestinal cramps.
B- Randall, I'm trying to conserve Oxygen.
F- But they hurt me so.
B- Keep it to yourself.
F- Ow, Ow Ow,
B- Wait a minute.
F- Ow Ow
B- I think if we stay on the heading for another twenty minutes we'll see the Pilgrim.
F- What? I didn't do anything.
B- Oh my God, No no no no no heh heh heh heh heh don't do that. No no Oh Man! Oh! Plu Oh!
F- Wasn't me.
B- What do you mean it wasn't you. We're 35 million miles from the nearest person!
----later on----
F- Commander I'm having trouble breathing.
B- You're having trouble breathing?! My eyes are burning!
F- Truly it wasn't me. Maybe it was Julie.
B- Gaag
F- Hey, miracles can happen.
B- Blamin' this on Julie.
F- Okay, I admit, it was me.
B- Thank you.
F- Now that was Julie!
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F- The, the mushroom people are coming. Get them away.
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Lost and Trapped on Mars:
F- Commander! Commander Overbeck!
B- Randall?
F- Commander? Is that you?
B- Randall!
F- It is you. Alright, stand back little fella nothin' to see here. Commander.
B- Whatta ya doin' here? Get back to the ship and save yourself.
F- Sorry Commander I can't do that.
B- That's an order.
F- I've gotta get you out. What. I can't lift it. They say that when a mother's child is trapped the rush of her adrenaline gives her the strength of 20 men.
Alright Commander call me Mommy!
B- What?!
F- Call me mommy now!
B- I'd rather die in the Martian turf.
F-Who am I?
B- Would you just lift up the stikin' thing?
F- Who am I?
B- Mommy.
F- Say it like you love me.
B- Mummy. Please Mummy save me.
F- Mommy's coming Little Billy.
B- Save me.
F- Oh yes! Live Child Live! You're alive Little Billy..
B- Don't you ever call me little Billy!
F- That's no way to talk to your mother.
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Controls Out:
B- controls are out. Randall I need the engine computers up now!
F- This time it was definitly not me!
B- I'll switch it to manual. Randall, check below.
F- Ahh
B- Randall! How's it look down there?
F- Like this
B- Well fix it!
F- If you stop the ship from tumbling and give me about a week.
B- I can't stop the tumbling and you've got two minutes.
F- Whaa-Haaaaa
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Bud- Only a complete genius or a total fool could ever pull this off. Lucky for us, he's both.
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Bud- Focus Fred. It's like in training. The rotating chair with the wires.
F- Well that was a real winner.
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Dancing:
J- So, ah, What's next for you Rocketman?
F- Well, ah, actually, I was thinking about asking you ta dance.
J- Haa ohh. Well ah thanks anyway, but I think we've done that before.
F- well, wait I-I had a little time on my hands recently and I've been practicing. That and I got a little creative with the space blankets.
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