A police officer pulled over a driver and informed him that, because he was wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000 in a safety competition.
''What are you going to do with the prize money?'' the officer asked. The man responded, ''I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license.''
At that moment, his wife, who was seated next to him, chimed in, ''Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk.''
This woke up the guy in the back seat, who, when he saw the cop, blurted out, ''I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car.''
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice asked ''Are we over the border yet?''
During one summer, USWest made 3-way calling free. Having recently returned from a long journey in China, Mike and his pals decided to tell Bob that Mike had died in a "horrible cab accident" in China. To make a long story short, after several funny 3-way calls and emails, Bob finally saw Mike again at the beginning of the school year. It was like seeing a bigheaded ghost.