My name is Jess. I go by many names; Jessica (call me this and get eaten by my deathmonkey), Jesse, Jessy-chan, Carl, Santa, Tooth Fairy, Mother Nature and Midnight Possum of DEATH.

I am 17. It is not a particularly fun age to be. Moving on. I live in a tiny, red-neck town called Upwey located in the hillier suburbanite parts of Melbourne, which is a city in Victoria which is a state in Australia. Don't make kangaroo jokes, don't call me mate. It's not funny.

I like haloumi, sushi, croutons, feta cheese, semi-dried tomatoes, pizza, toast, vegetarian canneloni, dolmades, baklava, lemon ruski, coffee, ice magic, johnny the homicidal maniac, invader zim, johnen vasquez, the simpsons, my friends (hi, guys!), school holidays, parties, Douglas Adams, animals, making people laugh, psychology, the end of the school day, knowing when I'm right, standing up for what I beleive in, arguing in a funny way, watching Jesso and Andrew beat each other up, inside jokes, black, purple, velvet, tye-dye, music - both playing of and listening too, making pointless web pages, emo boys, assorted anime, big words, frozen coke, poetry (stop laughing!), writing, rainy days, amusing vintage clothing and cats. Of course, I like many other things, but I am far to lazy to write it all down. It is safe to say, if you like it, I probably don't.

I dislike homophobic, anti-semitic and sexist beleifs, squash, mosquito bites, the war what oil...I mean, Iraq, the fact that I am allergic to chocolate, when my friends fight, people who tie me to a chair and yell their religious beleifs in my ear 'till my brain explodes, brain freeze, that some of my friends live SO FAR away, that I cant think of anything else to say right now.

I enjoy listening to the brain-melting mouth-spewage of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Alkaline Trio, Nirvana, Suicide Machines, Mad Caddies, Foo Fighters, Nine Inch Nails, Faith No More, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Ben Folds Five, Everclear, Placebo, Powderfinger, Tea Party, Cake, Dillinger Four, Less Than Jake, the Lawrence Arms, Sonic Youth and Machine Gun Fellatio.

My favourite movies are, in no specific order, Tank Girl, Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas, The Crow - all of them, especially stairway to heaven and Garage Days. I still hold a soft, cuddly place in my heart for the Rocky Horror Picture Show, the Dark Crystal and the Labrynth, which I grew up with.