I Have My Own Mud Bath
I had to feed the cat this morning. Unfortiantly I was out of cat food so I ground up the last cat and found I had nothing left to feed. My plants needed watering too. So I stuck them in the bath tub.
I knew from that point of the day that I probably didn't have much to look forward too.
That afternoon I visited my grandma. I fed her lunch and stuck her in the tub. It seemed like the thing to do at the time.
Later that week when I was at a funeral for some old lady and I was reading the eulodgy, I found that I had a strange itchy feeling on my ass. At first I thought it may be guilt but then I realized that it was probably god punishing me for no good reason.
I asked my doctor about this itchyness and he said it was only hemeroids and he prescribed preperation H for me. I didn't feel right about putting cream on my ass so I asked my doctor to do it. Two hours later, when he was done creaming my ass and getting my number for medical reasons, I went home to have a bath. It turns out I have my own mud bath.