Feeling the blues, I was down. I was in need of someone to talk to, but how do you talk to someone that's not there? It was dark out and there was a storm coming in to set an even a sadder mood in to play. I was watching the clouds roll in, out my window, the house completely quiet and dark except the cracks of thunder and the lightening shining every now and then from the storm. The quiet peacefulness was suddenly broken when the telephone rang. I got up from my seat next to the window to answer the phone...

"Hello" I answered and to my surprise an old friend was on the other end.

"Sunnie?"

"Yes this is me." I choked out, from shock of this past friend calling, someone I hadn't seen nor talked to in almost two years.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm alright, just a bit down"

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"How are you, it's been so long." I said trying to be strong, all the while tears started to mist my eyes.

"I know I just needed a friend to talk to and you're the only one who I could even begin to want to talk to right now."

I could tell that he was really down and genuinely needed a friend.

"Is something wrong?" I said.

"Yeah, but I can't say over the phone."

"I can't...." I started to say, knowing that he wanted me to come over.

"Sun please... please luv just say you will come over just to talk nothing will happen, I swear. All I need is a friend."

I couldn't tell him 'no'. He was indeed one of my closest friends for as long as I can remember.

"Alright, I could use a friend right about now, but just a friend nothing more because I can't go through that again."

"I understand and I promise that I will keep it just friends. See you in and fourty-five minutes?"

"Ok, in 45." I said hanging up the phone and getting up to put something suitable on.

I took my sweats off in exchange for jeans and a sweater. Throwing a pair of tennis shoes on and combing my waist length brown hair. I headed for the door grabbing a mac and ran out to my car. On the way over there I couldn't help, but think about him, we were once inseparable. Things happened, it hurt me and him to end it. Seeing him would just add more grief to all the pain that I had been through, but I couldn't say no, I still loved him very much, I realized that he needed me right now no matter what the consequences I knew I would suffer by doing so.

I arrived at the gates and they swung open letting the car come in to the lot. I got out of the car and went up to the door as it opened and there stood John with open arms. I embraced him and my eyes began to flood with tears.

As the long much needed hug ended, I thought about those arms around me, the warm feeling of closeness, oh that feeling coming back again I missed those arms around me. I looked up to John who's eyes were just as wet as my own and face fool of old longing, I could almost read his thoughts, he had missed me too.

I wiped my eyes as best I could, for they were still full of tears, John was staring into my eyes saying nothing not even moving. I knew that it was going to hurt badly when I walked out these doors tonight, walking out of John's life again for the second time. I took the first move and stepped into his house. I heard the door close behind me and looked back to see John following me into the living room.

John sat down on the couch, as I took a seat on the love seat straight across from John. Still saying nothing, just staring at each other in silence, yet saying more to each other than spoken words ever could. I broke the silence hanging over our heads, "How are you John?"

"I'm all right, just trying to cope with what is going on."

"Yeah, so why did you need to talk to me." I said trying to be tough and put on an air that I was here to talk and leave, all the while breaking up inside.

John sighed sounding even a bit hurt by how I had said that like I didn't care. "Sunnie, I didn't know who to call, please I just need a friend to listen to me, that's all then you can leave as soon as we're done, I didn't mean to burden you with my problems." He said trying to put on his own tuft air and trying to hide the tears rolling down his face.

"John, I. I'm sorry for that coming out the way it did, but it's really hard for me to sit here in front of you and try to feel as though this little meeting isn't going to affect me when I walk out those doors tonight, it's gonna hurt. it's gonna hurt bad." I said breaking into more tears.

"I know, I knew that when I called you, but I need you right now. Sun, Cyn left me a couple of days ago for another man. She has already given me divorce papers, she want's custody of Julian. I just don't know what to do, I mean I knew she would leave an all I just didn't think she would be so drastic in trying to take Julian away from me." John said softly. I knew he was hurting and I also knew that wasn't the whole story, there was something else, he was holding back.

"John you know she can't take Julian away from you and this seems to make it easier on you with being able to get out of a relation ship you have been trying to get out of for almost two years now. I know you John your hiding something, there is something else on you mind." I said knowingly. He knew where he stood with the divorce and Julian.

John chuckled lightly, "You always have been able to read me, the divorce and Julian is on my mind, but I'm so depressed these days. I hate touring, I want to do something new with life, I'm tired Sun. I don't want to quit the group, but I also don't want to keep doing what we are doing now I just I just don't know what I want to do." He sighed heavy.

"Sounds heavy, have you talked to the others about the way you feel?"

"No, not really I have talked to George about it a little bit he feels the way I do."

"Have you thought about taking a break just not touring for a while?" John shook is head no and looked down at his hands, thinking. I really felt bad for him, here he sat, head tipped forward, glasses fogged up from crying, one of the most somber looks on his face and lonely enough to call me. Someone he hadn't seen or talked to in two years, the last time we spoke it ended in him storming off one way and I in the other, walking out of each other's lives so easily as though we were only acquaintances that could be easily replaced by another.

He looked up at me and sighed, "Yeah many times, but every time I speak up Paul fucking wines is way into another tour, I just think it will break up The Beatles if I make him listen to me. I want to keep writing and recording music with the beatles because that's who I am."

"Do you think you could talk him into a break away from it for a while, then you could get away from it all for a while and think about it."

"Yeah, we all need a break anyway, but what will that do. I'll go off for a while be alone just as I am now, think about it and be depressed and get no where." He said.

I looked into his brown eyes, those eyes that at the moment held so much depression, and thought, had seen so much and once again looked into my own for guidance. He looked at me for suggestion on what he should do.

"Well you could take someone with you that would help you get through it..," I stopped dead in my sentence knowing full well the mistake I had just made by saying those words, for in place of John's depressed and somber look was now an animated look of joy on his face. The person that I was talking about was not me, but from the look on Johns face I knew fully that I was the friend he intended on taking.

"No, John I can't you know I can't.I we no." I said, shit what had I gotten my self into, I couldn't go with him no matter how much he needed me, I couldn't go with him. I knew if I did we would end up together in some way. I couldn't resist him if we were together for any period of time we just didn't fit together.

"But Sun you're the only one that could help me through this. Please just think about it, nothing will happen if you don't want it to. We'll have separate rooms, I need you I know it's been a long time since we've seen each other, but it's like we haven't been apart for even days." He pleaded with me. I couldn't agree to this no matter what he said.

"I can't do that, you know that I can't, sure we will go as friends, but we would leave as more. John I just can't get close to you again, it hurts too much. I would love to go and help you out, but you know as well as I do that it just wouldn't work." I said knowing that he wasn't listening and he wouldn't until I agreed.