Paul whispered in my ear: "Go away."

And I told him, on the coolest voice I could: "You will never get rid of me. You will never forget me. You are my everything."

"Leave!", he yelled, and he turned his face away. He was red, and I didn't know if he was angry or mad or whatever, he was furious and I was shocked.

And I walked away, my head moaning, my body wanting to return there. I was a compass, and Paul was my North. The place I wanted to be. Why he denies me, when all I want is my dream? Sour dream. My dream. Paul...

I see Denny coming across the room and I start to walk away. I don't want to talk to him, but still he gets me moved. He comes closer and touches my shoulder and stays there. His touch sounds to me like a sting. I don't move. I am tainted, clenched in his fingers.

"You will never have him, child. Why don't you give up?"
"Give up for you?"
"I am willing and able."
"But I don't want you."
"It's all a matter of choice, darling. If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."
"Stop with this nonsense!", I yelled.
"Kiss me and I will leave you. One kiss. And I walk away."
"You won't get satisfied with one kiss."
"I give you my word."

I stared at him, and I felt the room growing bigger between us. If I could transform him into the man I wanted, that wouldn't be so hard. I felt that the grip he had on my shoulders was almost burning me.

"And I will leave you."
"Never", I yelled, and turned to him. "Never - as long as I live, never! I don't want you, never will, you will never have me as long as I live!"

"If you won't be with me, you will never have Paul either.", he said. "But if you give me a kiss...a well-done kiss...and right where I want...I can open the gates for you."

His touch grew against me again, strangling me, taking my breath away for the wrong reasons. And I had no choice but attack him. I kicked him, right between where you are thinking. He fell to the ground without a second thought, and without a second sound. I stared at him and I said,

"Not as long as I live, Denny.", and I ran away, back to my room, and locked the door. I want to wake up. This is not a dream, this is a nightmare. I want to wake up.

I turn to the other side and I see somebody at a chair. It couldn't be Denny, I left him panting on the corridor. The lights are dim and all I see is that my visitor is a man. I walk to him and I see that I don't want to wake up anymore.

"You asked what was my darkest thought.", he turned to me with a smile.
"Come closer...let me tell you..."

I walked to him, and my legs were shaking. He touched my hand and made me kneel in front of him. He was like a holy image. McCartney like an icon. I was on my knees and I was praying. He was my image. My everything. My world.

He was smiling, he was shaking too. I was closer to Heaven than any other woman in that world. And he bent over to kiss me, as his hand reached for mine and took me right in the place he wanted it. I melted away.

"You are my darkest thought.", he whispered. "You are my darkest dream."