1. I really hate pity. I hate people who give pity. People are always saying
"dude you should feel sorry for your mom" my reply - im always sorry for
my mom, Especially when i break shit. Of course i care for her she's mom
but at this age i just kinda zone things out
2. I wonder if id go to hell if i stuck a baby kitten's head in my mouth. I wouldnt
kill it or anything. They just look so fluffy and im like. Damn that would be awesome to have in my mouth
3. If i were to die and come back as a bird id want to be a a big bird like a condor
or something. Why you may ask. So i can wait till your senior prom, Then id wait
till you go pick up your date and as soon as you and her walk out of the house and get near your expensive drop top convertible id start spraying shit all over you two. Knowing me i probably wouldnt watch where i was going and would run into a telephone pole beak first and break my neck and die but id die laughing.
4. Havent you ever had the oddest craving to just urinate on things. Its nearly a sport now me and my friends call "public facilities". We go some where and when some one screams public facilities we all rush towards the mens room to spray piss on everything we can.Your only allowed to yell public facility if you went into the room and no one was in there. Trust me it gets messy when there are witnesses.
5. I hate diet soda's. Diet coke, Diet Pepsi, Diet mt dew. i dont care what it is Diet= ass. its nearly implied. IF you for some odd reason enjoy diet beverages i hope you know the diet products contain more cancer causing chemicals than the regular. Why you may ask? In the diet format they change some things around with synthetic low fat substances which really aren�t healthy over a long period of time . Ironic. Loose weight die thin.
6. Why do girls try to be my friends after they decide to leave me?. Honestly if your going to not like me in that special way dont like me as a friend casue chances are i probably dont want to like you anymore. It really bugs me. They expect me to WILLINGLY listend to who they think is "hot" or who they have a crush on or what they are doing with there boyfriends. Its totally gay. Girls are friggin insaine. OF COURSE WE ARNT GOING TO BE NICE TO YOU AFTER YOU BREAK UP WITH US OR TURN US DOWN WE ARE DISSAPOINTED AND PROBABLY HURT AND REALLY DEFINITLY NOT LOOKING FOR ANOTHER "FRIEND" TO THROW ON THE PILE OF SHITHEADS
YOU HAVE ALREADY.
7. 1 fish. 2 fish. Red fish. blue fish.
8. I hate people who come over to my house and hang out for awhile then go to use the bathroom and before they are even through the doorway they whip out there cock. It really bothers me. At least have the damn common courtesy to keep the one eyed pocket gopher in its hole till its time. Geeze.
9. Have they ever made Erotically shaped impact wrenches
10. If I spent more time doing homework instead of working on this site id probably be passing many of my classes. But you know what? The classes im failing are gay and should suck dick for a living. Homework is gay. Id pass if i actually did some
11. Once i had a dream where i was a deer in the wild then i started to have hot wild sweaty deer sex with a female deer. And since that night i refuse to watch bambi
12. Sometimes i can understand hood ornaments. I mean many people are to shitfaced to be able to tell the difference between there car and the car beside it. Even antenna ornaments are explainable but when a man gets key chain ornaments and ties them all together into a uber mass of keys and flashlights and can openers he should be tied to the front of a 69 camero and ran into a wall at 140mph. Honestly does that big wad of keys in your pocket make you feel more like a man? Does it help compensate for that small penis your dad gave you at birth.
13. I miss the snow. I wish it would snow soon. The snow brings along many fun paintball wars and spawns many fun other things. For instance if god blessed me with snow this weekd id build the biggest snow penis in the park in this town the world has ever scene. I could get teenagers from all over Monroe and Ida to help. It would be a community event and a Penis worthy of all to see.
14. I had a dream last night where terrorists hit the school. I was popping Arabs left and right. I whipped out my colt 1911 and was capping nuggets then I picked up an ak-74 and started blowing them away right out the windows even. I set up bunker in my world studies room with my friends and we were blasting the shit out of Arabs parachuting down onto the streets. Some how this dream made me realize that the movement of electrons are completely unpredictable
despite what bohr's atom model was.
15. I wonder what it would be like to get caught whacking it in a public library. You know it would be funny. Don�t lie...... or i'll stick a fork in your eye
16. Roses are red violets are blue injums smoke pot and i do too
17. I think before the time i graduate 11% of the high school population will have successfully viewed my awesome porn star penis. I don�t know. Just another random thought.
18. If I were some superhero id want to be spick man. Id be able to improvise anything out of anything. Just think of my seduction skills. Id be such a pimp. But for now I�ll have to settle for just being robot Chris. I really need to get them pictures developed.
19. I really don�t want anymore more friends who are girls who are just friends. Dammit i got a hole pile of them.yes i know its mean but fuck im not going to lie to you people i honestly have enough. So fuck off or something i dont know it really doesnt matter to me chances are im probably to stoned to care
20. I wish i had a lightpole in the middle of my house. Think about how'd id explain that during holidays. Id steal one of the cool ones uptown with the walk-dont walk thingys and set it to strobe and we could all have a big sweaty orgy and trip on acid in my living room and shit. it would be great
21. Havent you ever wondered about the sperm content in yogurt? I cant stand to eat yogurt casue of its smooth rich silky texture... Especially not after porn.
22. I rember back when i was little i used to always wonder why older kids where so mean to little kids. now that im older i see that all the lil people are annoying fagots who never shut up. Damn you all damn you *Shakes fists*
23. I often think to myself that i'll graduate highschool and go to colledge. Then reality hits. I'll probably take a break from schooling thinking i'll go back to colledge but then i will probably become a rock star start binge drinking and end up on mtv for the rest of my life. Damn. O well
24. Why the hell do people think we actually care what they think? its only human nature for everyone to be a critic but people should evolve and learn that no matter what they say i'll always still be the same lil punk rocker moshing around slam dancing and pissing off anyone of any social stature
25. Havent you ever wondered why some dogs bark more than others? Well its a scientific fact a dog cant breathe when they are barking. And basicly casue it cant breathe less oxegen gets to its brain. Making it Stupider. Wich makes it bark even more. Stupid piece of shit.
26. Its amazing how girls are. I just got dumped by a girl named Denise. you see me and her started going out then the next day she cheated on me with 3 guys. 2 of them asked her out and she said yes to both of them and ended up being eaten out by the other. Then her ex boyfriend hani calls her and begs for her back too so she ends up with 4 boyfriends by the time i call her and yell at her for being like that. And she got mad at me. Think about this carefully people doesnt that seem wrong?. Well anyways she broke up with me and to the best of my knowledge is still being a buttslut. Damn women.
27. Paintball.. its a nine letter word. Its amazing how much money i spend on paintball. its also amazing the time i traded this guy a 150$ rebel deluxe for a 30$ 20 onze Co2 tank and then stole one of his 20's anyways. God i love america.
28. Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be a magical coyote. I think it would be badass. like hella badass. I would go around spraying shit with my magical coyote piss and humping old ladies with walkers so they trip and break there legs and die so i dont have to pay there damn social security support through my damn taxes *Shakes fist* old people will wrot in hell soon enough.
29. Regarding 29 isnt it bullshit that through our taxes old people dwell. They yell at us for being to old to go trick or treating so i think we should go around town with a baseball bat breaking the legs of those who have anything against us. Were still teenages fuck you *middel finger*
30. Anyways why the hell do you have to always fucking balance out chemical equations with a sufix number. Pisses me the hell off. Like the electron configuration. Eat my balls.
31. Geometry = Badass. Chemistry = Incredibly mind boggling unethically nearly demonically homosexual. World studies = Insane Badass. And any other classes i really dont rember but yah Geometry and World Studies are badass but chemistry..... Yeah you.. you hear me.. My balls. Your face you piece it together.
32. Wow holy shit. Its amazing what you can do with with a box of paper clips and some masking tape when your stoned off your ass. Yeah im f*cking sorry Lyndsy I swere your hair will be soo much better next week.
33. Damn. Im so the man. Girls everywhere think im either 17. or 22. no inbetween or anything. No less. Those 2 years. Youd be amazed at what this lil punk rocker can do when he seems to be that age. Ha! jokes on them. *air guitars*
34. Sweet jebus today i saw the hotest lesbian ever at a gas station. And this made me think, it really made me think. Now if i where to some how able to create my own paintball pro shop with custom polisthing and gun repair i could earn up enough money to design the perfect paintball gun 90% reliable and what does this have to do with lesbains? nothing dont be a fag.
35. Wow Dundee sucks shit. You wouldn�t believe the shit it sucks. God just the shit sucking factor of Jessica being there and then duey being her lil bitch just adds the shit factor out the room. yeah duey you know you want to tap that shit. Sick bastard. You can deny it but we all know. Your all over that shit cause you never got over her. But dun worry your still the man I just hate Jessica. Anyways. Back to Dundee sucking shit. Yes Dundee sucks shit. The shit it may such is exponential with the shit it produces.
36. Today i was thinking to myself about jello. Its cheap. Easy to make. Very tastey. And most importantly cheap yet its inferiority to pudding is outstanding. Pudding my friends is far supieror
37. If i had the chance id poke some stranger in the eye at random. why? casue have you ever just went "BAM" poked some one in the eye?? i think not.
38. I think its about the time of year for spring to come dammit. Im tired of freezing my balls off and not being able to skate. If winter was a person id rip out its throat with a jackknife boil it and eat it for breakfast after sleeping with both its daughters January and december. It would be kinky.
39. I want to buy a pair of buttless chaps and ride a big pig into a convenience store at least once in my life. Please send 20$ to the Chris needs to buy buttless chaps and a pig foundation. Call for details
40. Someday when im older and wiser i plan to make a naked room in my house. As you can guess, you can only enter it when your naked. It will proably end up being a shitty broom closet or something though so dont get your hopes up.
41. I think its best that i dont have a job casue id keep buying really wierd stupid random shit.
42. Its funny but you can have a huge crush on a girl but the more and more you think of asking her out the less and less attractive she may seem. This is because of the fact that you are thinking about her more and your noticing the details you hate. Its just human nature don�t be worried. Either way I�ll tell you its best to give her that chance despite her imperfection cause if your sitting here reading this site your a stupid piece of shit and you need a girl anyways.
43. McDonalds. SUCK MY BALLS.
44. Well here you are again reading my page. By now the massive amounts of spellings errors probably lowered your sperm count.
45. When 2 people meet its traditional to shake hands. When I meet some one new I poke them in the balls and slap them in the face
46. People should learn by now to stop being so easily offended or to stay the hell away from my shit. Im not here to make them happy. Im here to inform small segments of the local teenage population that they suck ass and yes the world is trying to fuck them in the corn hole.
47. One of these days some one needs to sneak a can of inflatable cool whip in while having sex and blow it into the other person's butt hole. Think of the confused look on that persons face when there is a coolwhip bottle in there ass spraying what is pretty much 90% oils and fats. It would be cold too
48. Sometime in the near future i plan to put gay rights bumper stickers on the cars of people i dont like. Or just things like Pro homosexuality stickers and "PROUD TO BE GAY". Most guys here are too cocked to notice if anything like that was on there car.
49. Today i thought to myself. If i stuck a pencil in your ass could i hear the ocean?
50. Ford Automobiles can bite my sweaty boner.
51. Well i havent put any new Random thoughts up for awhile casue this page is down. So whats randomly on my mind now? well i had a thought of what would happend if i got a candy apple covered in penuts then dipped it in a bucket full of fireants and put that up your ass. It could be a very interesting experiment and at that point i can stand back and collect the ensuing data.
52. Well today i was thinking to my self. I see more and more girls thinking they are punk rock wearing over priced New found glory shirts and these pop punk band pins and the most underground thing they have is a ramones shirt and they dont even own any ramones cds. Why the fuck are you trying to be punk. Your not punk your actually the anti punk. Anti Matter destroys matter and Anti Punk destroys punk. Quit yer posin and go back to your backstreet boys scene. Chances are your just trying to score with the hot punk skateboarder guys. I rate your pointlessness like 4 steps underneath "emo girls"
53. If your stupid enough to have read this far into my mass page of gramaticle errors and biased opions then you should probably shave yer nutz and cover them in icy hot. I hear that clears the bullshit right out of your head
54. P.s please send a video tape of your balls vrs icy hot to projectcanonnofodder it will be valiently noted
55. Why does the weather channel insist on the soft porn soundtrack of the 80's
56. If i put shaving cream on a cake and said it was frosting AFTER i got you drunk how much do you think you could consume before id have to get your stomach pumped for containing Palmatic acid and Triethanolamine
57. There is no words to describe the worst sound a man could ever hear. So close your eyes and imagine this. Wait fucker read this before you close your eyes. Picture yourself in grassy green open field in the middle of spring. Then picture a bucket with pudding an a tomatoe falling into it. That my friend is the worst sound a man can ever hear in his life. I belive you'd spell it "THUNK"
58. There are good Descisions and there are bad descisions. A good descision would be to get a job and quit reading this site. A bad descision would be exploring how much pain your balls can endure from an aluminum baseball bat.
59. Speaking about pain and balls what would you do if i walked up behind you, Tapped you on the shoulder, Then started Beating my balls with a vengance using my closed fists. The polls show most people would laugh histericly and or stop calling my house.
60. I havent said the words "Bitchin" or "Wicked" in like 5 years
61. If it looks like cat shit, Smells like cat shit, Chances are its cat shit
62. Would you think less of me if i wanked off while driving?
63. I shake babies.
64. The Misfits Fucking own. If you think they suck then you havent listend to them enough. You probably also have some affection twards good charolette and nfg and blink 182. RETURN TO MAIN MENUE OR PAGE 2.