Project Fallen

Apocalypse

My Profile is right here. Just click. My Profile.

    The Apocalypse in near, the end is near, fear, fear, FEAR!!! Mwuhahahaha. This is my little thought archive. Let the meyhem begin...now!

     June 30, 2004-Oh my. People want to get slapped upside their heads this week. I didn't get to sleep till 8 in the morning. So many things have been happening. I took a walk at 6am. Until like 7. Then I played my bass. I love that thing, lol. Plenty of people love innanimate objects. Some love them too much, and insert them inside of them. Thats how I imagine the sun will burn out, and how the dinosaurs went extinct. Did everything taste purple for a second? Hahahaha. Well. Pleanty of people have pissed me off, so I'm leaving, good bye.

     June 29, 2004-So much drama. Two of the band members said no. They apparently aren't too fond of goths. I am sooo pissed. I'm like, one of the only bassist around here. They are f***ed. Oh well... I don't give a shit. I figure, if they can't get a bassist, they are going to hafta call me. Music sucks without a bass. A bass sets the mood. A guitar sounds annoying if you try a solo without a bass playing. Want to know something else interesting? Without a bass people say... Wow, that doesnt sound right. I feel bad for them. I don't think I'll let them use my pic of band name I made. I legally hold all rights on the name, so , yes! My pic totally conquers their right to use that name. :-D I made a new friend in socom. Wooo... Now to make some new ones in real life. Recently, a lot of my friends just randomly stops communicating with me, thats how I'm choosing to describe it. Well... I'm going to go now. Adios.

     June 28, 2004-Hi. How is everyone? I'm doing a little better. Some people treated me nice today. I didnt get to sleep till 7:30 this morning. I slept till 3, lol. Hmmm... Meow. There. Hahahaha. Wow. I have no idea what I'm doing, lol. I'm bored. Don't abandon your baby. No matter how fed up you are. If you are feeling overwelmed take it to your local police station. Do it safely, anonymously, give your baby a safe haven. Sorry, lol. I saw that in this commercial. I might be in a band, woah. Well.. I've had this shit open for like, a while, so see ya.

     June 27, 2004-Hi. Right now. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Absolutely everything. It's really pissing me off how god's testing me. It is really ticking me off, I mean it. People aren't helping. Is it the heat? Everyone thinks their problems are more important to me than my own. Someone with the exact same problem as mine. Chasing after someone who simply doesnt desire them. They thought their problems were more important than mine, to me. The only problem is, I am just about healed up from 2 relationships ago. My last relationship healed first. My ex means nothing to me, just because of how she used me, and hurt me. Now I have friends trying to act like I'm causeing their suicide... It's just what I need. I am close to cutting someone up into little pieces and pissing on their grave and someone just decides to tell me off when I didn't do anything. Right now I am talking to the only person who will listen. I'm saying they are the only person who will actually listen. They are the only person who will listen, that I can contact right now. They have successfully kept me from ripping a baby in half. Oh yeah... I have come to a new hypothesis on atheism. It warps peoples beliefs. Their very morals are. For people who belive in god, such as my-self, we are influenced by a reward to act good, heaven. While, people who do not believe in any god, they are more influenced to not give a shit. I'm not saying this goes for everyone. But in general, from what I understand. I'm going to go. I'm sick of all this f***ing drama. Everyone is being a drama queen right now, hell, even me. See ya.

     June 26, 2004-Hi. Whats up? Hahahaha. I can't hear your answer. I just asked someone their veiws on cowboy lassos. I did something really wrong. I ate oriental food while watching that oriental guy getting his head chopped off. That is like psuedo-patriatism. Lol. I am American... Cracker Jack, telephone jack, bumper car, cattle prode, cowboy fetus's. Random words are fun to say. I'm going to say something random. My friend is gassy. I win, lol. I am in a reletively good mood. I mihgt be going to a music show soon. I have the money. I have the spiritual guidance. Where is my friend... Hmmmm... Wow. My hair is finally starting to get long. It's past my ears and nose. I got like 2 inches I guess till I get to my shoulders. Okay, maybe 3... I don't care, either way, it'll be to my shoulders in a few months. I ate too much candy today. I feel like I'm having a mild heart attack, but on the wrong side. Maybe my hearts on the wrong side, lol. Hmmm... Wow. I cracked my neck. It sounds like I broke it, but I didn't. I'm starting to get really psyched up for the new PS2 wrestling game. Smackdown! vs RAW. That will be f***ing awesome. What did the Hick say to his wife? Bonk. Sorry, had to say it. I said that and hit my friend, I guess that makes him my wife, lol. I feel like I'm hungry, but I'm full. It's weird. I still have a feeling of heart attackage going on. Definitally psuedo-healthy. Thats a fancy way of saying not healthy. I was playing with a latex glove for 3 hours today, so I definitally didn't have the most action packed day ever, but I did watch the munsters. The greatest show ever. That show makes me want to pull a R. Kelly on someone. Hell, I might... I use dot dot dot a lot... See!!! I did it again. What's wrong with me... Ahhhh! God help me. All mighty jesus lord allah ganesh holy cow. I just had to say it, lol. I use lol too much too. Oh my lord I over use that online. My friend taking his contacts out. I think hes going to sleep soon, which he shouldn't. My fingers crack too much. My eyes are like, bugging me. They are like, wet. But extra wet. Like puddles. Hahahaha. My friends mom assured he couldn't sleep over. She called like 30 times seeing if he was here. This morning at like 4 me and my friend were cooking sausages. Oh yeah, and hash browns. My friend has a little sausage. OMG! It's called lil chubb... I did it again >_< Ahhhhh! I gotta go. I'm hearing about a wrestling game. Adios.

     June 25, 2004-Hahahahaha! It's back. The skipping. I love this computer. The skipping is so bad right now I can't what I typed, hahaha. I probably had one of the worst nights of my life, well, not my life, one of the worst this year, lol. I slept till 2:30 in the afternoon and only got 5 hours of sleep. That is sad. People piss me off. Not to be mean, but everyone and everything tried to prevent me from sleeping. I was spazzing out. I layed down at 7... People woke me up enough... 7-2:30. That should be 7 and a half hours, but people and animals wasted 2 and a half hours of that. Grrrrrr! Only girl friends are aloud to wake me up and waste my time, lol. Want to know whats sad? I had to download the new Javascript thingy. It makes everything out of whack. I still update with that pain in the ass affecting the site. Well, I'm updating with this pain in the ass lag affecting yahoo. Thats because I love my website. I'm a Project Fallenholic. Lets shorten that. A fallenholic. Thats gay. Oh so gay, lol. I'm really bored. I'm just watching my friend play Rainbow Six 3. It's not that great in my opinion. I have to admit ragdoll physics are awesome. Maybe SOCOM will submit to the ragdoll demon. I think I tasted the most salty and vinigery salt and vinegar chip ever. It's the most awesome taste I've ever tasted. I'm going now. Adios porfavor.

     June 24, 2004-Hi! How is everyone? News on the street is everyone is doing shitty. I don't know how. It's amazing. Hmmm... Wow, I almost am ranked in the top 5% in socom. Thats great. Meow. Meow, meow, meow! You've been beat. No. Served. I worked today. I just realized. I am a professional window-washer. Some people are professional civil war impersonators, lol. Wow. I had a pretty boring day. HAHAHHA! Someone on socom asked for my number.... I gave them my friends... Lol. I think I'm going to leave. I'm feeling like it's time to go, adios. Oh yeah, I'm going to leave you with some words of advice. A parody if you will... K-k-k-k-katman, meow! Adios.

     June 23, 2004-Hahahaha. I'm watching reno 911. Mr. Smiley. Thats all I'm saying about that. I wonder why all of aols smilies go to the right. :) :-D :( See... Why don't they look left. (: (|: ): Who knows. I think aol is telling everyone to worship satan. Thats my philosophy. Lol. I like pita bread. Abu Garref... That bush said it wrong, lol. The daily shows photos aren't realistic at all.. HAHAHA! I don't know how to say this. I don't know what I'm seeing on the daily show... I see a guy on the daily show with skull face paint and hes a republican... Glad I'm a Democrat. I love Clinton. Hahahaha!. He could be green party and I'd still love him. You know why? Getting head is alright. White House or not, that embodies America as it is today. I think I'm going to play socom now. Good bye.

     June 22, 2004-I feel like ultra shit today. Everyones been on my f***ing case today, my stomach is killing me. I think I have an ulcer. Who knows. I don't think I do. People sure aren't making anything easy. Grrrrr... Why. I don't have anything funny to say... People have sucked the dunny right out of me. What can I say funny... Ouch. My f***in guts killing me. Next person to piss me off is getting punched in the face, I swear. I'm playing socom. I swear. It's the only thing other than my very supportive friends that are keeping me alive. I'm not saying I'm suicidal, I'm just saying my life is kinda on life support. Yeah... No one I know is awake right now. Hell. I'm barely awake right now, lol. I'd be sooo dead if it weren't for socom. I think I need sleep. I don't give a shit anymore. Lifes to short to give a shit. Adios.

     June 21, 2004-Wow. I don't feel too peachy right now. Ouch. My stomach hurts. This isnt regular pain. It's like, acid is on the outside. I've actually been graced with feeling that. I love when people smile, everyone except preists... That means some little boy isn't smiling. Kill Iraqies! They are killing so many people now. I think I need to go over and pop some Iraqi skulls. Pop like pop corn. Those dumb bitches. Sensless violence is funny, it's a scommon fact. But brutal sensless violence is discusting. Wow. I don't know what I'm doing.   AHHHHH!! A bug. I hate bugs. I hate them sooooo much. I will irradicate them. Mwuhahaha. Well. I need to go now. Adios.

    June 20, 3004-I just remembered. Yesterday I got to see someone set their crotch on fire. Now. Today I swear god didn't want me to sleep past 12. Like 4 phone calls, 2 people came, and people bugged me. Thats not supposed to happen within an hour. I've felt like shit emotionally all day too. It really sucks. Wow. Socom is so screwed up. I've been disconnected twice, and I can tell like everyone in the game I'm in was too, lol. Wow. I wonder what happened. Did someone take a shit in its server. Maybe tommarow it will be better. Who knows. I don't feel good at all. I am so confused right now. It's like, people keep telling me they like me and other people like me, and I'm like, why don't one of these people ask me out! I don't ask anyone out, I just lack the ability to. It's from my last relationship. Wow. I'm making this thing in Adobe Illustrator. It's neat. I fire demon. Ooo. If anyone wants to see it. It's at www.deviantart.com. That is one of the best websites ever. My names Gravewire on there. I links right to my name. K? See you later. Have fun!

     June 19, 2004-Kick ass! I just got back from Soundwaves. 10 hours of music. I didn't get to stay the whole length of the show, 11 and half hours... My dad was my only ride there and back and he has work in the morning. He has to get up at um... 4:30, lol. My whole body hurts from moshing. It's great. Wow. My feet hurt from standing. 10 hours, i didnt really get to sit down, it was like 5 minutes all together. I got like 10 people to call lexi a slut, you know, my ex. The ex who purposely tried to make me mad and was amused by it. Yeah. She was the absolute worst girl friend I ever had. God, my brain is literally turned to jelly. I'd imagine it looks like if you gut a fish and let it sit in the sun a week. Oh my. I saw the ugliest perso I've ever seen before. They were missing teeth, their nose was like, not right, they smelled like shit. They smell, to my best knowledge, like an open grave. I'm going to make a new product. Hope on a Rope.   I gotta go,adios.

     June 18, 2004-I got my modem.... After 12 days of not getting to play socom I get to. I'm not too happy. Now I don't get to go to sound waves. Boo. Maybe I can still go. Get a ride from my dad... Who knows... I'm listening to music. I love music. It calms me down. I'm talking to my ex rachel. It's been months since I got too. We are basically recaping how our lives have been in the past few months, ummm... This is so depressing, lol. I'm so happy to know shes okay though. Me and here were together about a year. One of the best years of my life. It sucks, but oh well. I moved on. I still like her and all, you dont stay with a person and be forced toend it without still liking them. But I need to find someone else... I mean. I found someone else, but she was a bitch and I found out she intentionally hurt me. I'm listening to the best online radio station ever, rothmetal.com. It really is the best. Take a listen. It's good. Ofcourse, thats my opinion. Black and death metal. Its the crazy screaming shit people make fun of. Lol. I'm f***ing pissed now. I can't get a ride with my friend margie now, and my dad wont take me. What kind of f***ing damn reason is "It looks liek trouble"! I'm gonna find a way there. I might have to walk. Okay. Now my dad will take me, lol. When he tried to talk to me, I said not now, I'm busy, I'm trying to find a way to Soundwaves, lol. Eh. I'm excited. A lot of people I know from vo-tech will be there, and a lot of my friends will be there. This is going to be the wildest show in soundwaves history. It's the last show ever. They have 30,000 dollars of debt. I think this is there last show. Well... All they need is 3,000 people to show up. Thats possible. Really possible. They will probably let that many people in this time. I can imagine a few thousan people in a mosh pit, I've been to ozzfest. The secong stage was better. Camden, New Jersey. Well, it was in the middle of Camden, New Jersey and Philidelphia, Pennsylvania. The border of the states, lol. It was the bloodiest mosh pit I've ever seen. I swear. 2,000 people in a mosh pit, and a bunch of circle pits. Thats like 30 people moshing and a bunch of people around them. It was almost planned how right when Cradle of Filth's intro ended it started raining. It wasnt the annoying rain. It was like, just for show almost. It's like. I was sunny as hell right as the show started. Then in no time the clouds started gathering. It was insane. Then when ozzy started, it became bitter cold and started raining. I thought it was weird. How could those 2 coincidences happen. The 2 most evil bands there. I mean, Marilyn Manson was there, but hes not evil. Not in my mind at least. I think Marilyn Manson is awesome, but not evil. Hes like me. Experimental. Well. Some people describe me as evil. I don't consider my-self evil. I'm just an accaintance with it. Lol. I sure would like some of that battle armor cradle of flith was wearing... lol. Well. I'd like some of those snazzy costumes GWAR has. I'd go to school in it, lol. Is this against dress code Mr. Buck?   Lol. Well. My dad wants to go on a car ride at 2 in the morning, so adios, lol.

     June 17, 2004-Hi. Still no modem. It's been a week. My advice, just say f*** AOL. Don't get it. I've been mixed up all day. Then someone told me they like me. I've been a super happy klutz all day. Lol. I normally an a complete klutz. But today whenever I hafta put usernames and passwords in it's mixing up aol, yahoo, ancient latin, and binary code. I'm not able to do anything today, lol. I'm getting ready for this place called soundwaves. It's a music place. They are shutting down, and I'm pretty sure some crazy shits gonna happen at this concert. It's the last show... Oh boo... Well all of the top bands around here are going to play, so it'll be awesome. It's from 12 noon till 11:30 at night. I know some people are gonna get messed up too. Hopefully I'm not a klutz then, thats dangerous. Hmmm... I spilled nail polish on my keyboard on the "0" button. The "P" and "O" buttons are being kinda mean. Not that mean. Once it dries and gets ripped up it'll be okay. Well... Welcome to crazy world, no, welcome to Allah World, same difference. Adios.

     June 16, 2004-AOL did it... You must know how I haven't had DSL for a week. Well, f***ing damn AOL didn't even send my f***ing modem out till today. Those stupid f*** heads. I'm angry now. AOL is the devil. Those satanic son of bitches. I'm pissed... I swear. If I ever see the CEO of AOL I'm gonna punch him in the face. Maybe I'll knock some sense in his f***in damn head. How can you have a good company, with such f*** heads in the mail department. AOL is evil, and not the cute kind, the ugly kind. Everyone knows I'm the cute evil, lol. AOL!!! Those cunts!   I hate AOL. With there fucking marketing ploys. Giving modems that only work with certain routers... I'm glad I don't need a router. I was just scarred, but I'm not telling... I'm gonna try and forget... Ooo! Story. Did you know I never killed an animal? I've come close. The once I was practicing wrestling moves. I tried a Shooting Star Press. Thats a flip backwards landing on your stomach. I fit my head against the fish tank. I shattered the glass. So logically, I got a bucket, lol. Fish=water. Thats my veiw. It might be wrong, but oh well. I wonder where the term coming out of the closet came from. Well... Hmmm... Only one way to find out. Question of the week. It's started up again. W00tageness. Now, on to question of the week!

     June 15, 2004-Well, still no modem... I'm starting to get really pissed. Really really pissed. Thursday... Why? This just isn't healthy. Oh my. What did I want to say here? Oh yeah. It's getting really hot here. Wow. I like chicken. It's a great tasting meat product. I like those new Hebrew Hotdogs. They are better than regular ones. Who would figure, kosher is good. I'm gonna make Jesus Dogs. They plump when you... There is no healthy way to make that statement not offend anyone, so bye.

     June 14, 2005-Hey. I'm thinking of changing the site layour prototype. I'm thinkin of making a frame. We are talking some hefty work. I'm mainly just moving the side stuff up to the top. Oh. I'm changing the side stuff color too... I just don't have the resources to make a side and top frame. So I'm hoping to god I can use aol's ftp service to power a frame on yahoo. Who knows... I don't. Wow. Master Shake, good day... I still didnt get this modem, aol must be shittin me... They said 5 days. It's been 5... So its 6 tommarow... Wow. It's raining. Well... Adios.

     June 13, 2004-Hi. Today is the 11 month anniversary. We've mad it this far, lets make it further. The year anniversary is in exactly one month. It doesn't feel like it's been a year. Oh yeah, It hasn't lol. It doesn't feel like It's been 11 months. Just so you all know I'm still on dial-up, but I did get my headset. So when this modem comes, probabyl tommarow... I'll have socom! Soon I'll have my ears pierced too. Saturday I get to see my friend Margie, shes like my best friend. It'll be fun! Yayness. Oh darn. AOL is such a muk luk. I went and took a shower and my away message went away. I'm assuming it signed me off and auto-seigned me on. I'm watching ghost busters. Great movie. Always great. When I got back after my shower there were like 10 IM's of angry people. Ghost busters is the best movie for racial unity. The black guy fell in and 2 white guys hopped in too. I think thats a beautiful message. If someone may die, you should go along. Best line ever... You great with children... Thanks, I practiced on my hampster. I'm noticing a lot of intelligence on animals. I was petting my cat's chin and it literally like, grabbed my hand, like hugging it. Then pushed it towards his back and rolled on his side. I could tell he wanted me to put his back. Then I come up stairs and right when I sit down My ferrit knocked its food down. I looked in its food dish and it didnt haveany food there. It's all under its dish, but that foods a little old. But yeah, then I realized, ahh, it's not eating. I look and guess what, it's scratching it water bottle. I had like, 1/8th left. I could tell she wanted more. So I filled up the water bottle and she started chowing. I was surprised how intelligent those are. My dog sasha wanted me to follow her. I could tell she was a little bumbed when I didn't. I was all, awe, come here, and I hugged her. She looked really happy again. I was all woosh. I'm going to go to sleep I think. Adios. OOO! Check out the Index Prototype. It's the new layout for this site, maybe... This is the first time it's public, even though I showed it to a lot of my friends, lol. The URL is www.geocities.com/project_fallen/index_prototype. Heres a link. Just click it. I really value your everyones opinion. Soooooooooooooooo... E-mail them to me at [email protected], I'll happily respond. It may be a little delayed. Well... Now it's time to go. Adios.

     June 12, 2004-Wow. Because of the harrassment I've endured yesterday, I don't know what I'm going to do. They basically called me a pussy for no reason. I was pretty pissed, but I help them along, lol. I was bored from it... I sent an e-mail with the whole conversation to a few people. I think they might know this person. I honestly didn't. But yeah, I might go out with this person I'm sure likes me and will treat me right. I get into abusive relationships very easily. Like, ever other relationship I've been in was. Well. 2 relationships out of three are abusive. Thats just sad. I honestly hope this next relationship is the third un-abusive one, lol. I can tell you I wont get out of it if it's good. Some people I know do leave great relationships. I don't. I've ruined a few... Well, 1. Lol. My ex's parents ruined the other. Oh well, I'll quit bitchin, c ya.

     June 11, 2004-Hi. Whats up?! I'm doing mediumly, lol. I got to play a new wrestling game. It's great. What sucks is someone IMed me today I don't even know and harrassed me. They called me a pussy and were quite rude to say the least. I think I was insulted... I forget, lol. Just Kidding! I know I was insulted. Oh well. I sent the convo to a few people. Hopefully they know who it was that was being a bitch to me. She must've had sand in her vagina. I'm playing a game. I'm playing Raw 2 for x-box. You know whats funny, the words x-box box. The box that contains an x-box, lol. I'm gonna get going, adios.

     June 10, 2004-Did you know the internet watches you while your sleeping? It's true. The internet gets its jollies from you! I have made a preview of what will be... I am making it for the 1 year anniversary. Thats in a month and 3 days. Be happy. I like chicken pot pie. I had fish n' chips. BLACK POWER!!!!1!!1!! Down with whitey... I wait, I'm whitey... Hmmm... Kill me! Kill whitey... Sorry, flash back. Lol. Slavery is wrong, thats why I own a chia pet. I'm going to teadch everyone a song from my vo-tech class. It goes "Who's got the clap*clap* *clap* I've got the clap *clap* *clap*" Keep repeating and clapping. I'm going to go now. I did my work, just waiting till sunday. OO! I'll probably have my new dsl modem by then. Aol is sending a new one. Adios.

     June 9, 2004-Okay... I am impressed with aol. Their costumer service line is much better now. They no longer try to act like I know nothing about computers... Right now they are pretty sure there are network problems in my area with my dsl. It took us about 30 minutes to identify this... Thats quick. Right now I'm forced to use dial up. Luckily Yahoo Page builder still only takes seconds to load. I think I might somehow be getting dsl through my phonelines... I don't know, but anyway... I'm mostly going to be calling my dad today, seeing if he is having the same problems. Because I live in the suburbs they mess up sometimes. I'm functioning on 4 hours of sleep right now. I'm not even tired though, lol. All I know is my money I get from work tommarow is going to my socom headset. I am not going to have to buy a new dsl modem, because I was told if this one is broken, I get a new one from aol for free!!! They have this clause in their contract that you need to ship the modem back to them if you cancel service with them, but it's double-sided. I think I impressed the guy though, lol. I don't plan on being on much without dsl, because its too drastic of a change, although 56k isnt horrible... I had a 28.8 and thats a slug... lol. I'm gonna get going now, adios.

     June 8, 2004-Hi. How are you? I'm doing good. I soooo want to get some new clothes. First I'm getting some peircings. They will be 70. I'm getting my ears done. Then whenever I get enough money I'll get a tattoo. I love being 16, no bills. I know like next year I'll have some bills, so I'm trying to buy everything I can now. 3 peircings, and one more tattoo. We are looking at 300 dollars. I can do it. It will just be hard. Since I'll be getting it all from the same place maybe they'll give me a group discount. Lol. Now this sucks. I was gonna go to sleep early for school tommarow, but I'm not even tired. I think I might just stay up all night. If I cant convince my-self to sleep by 2 I'll go on no sleep. I have to walk home. Lol. I'll be home before I usually wake up. I will have to go to work at 10 probably on thrusday. It's a ten minute walk. Some f*** called me a pussy and I don't know why. Hmmm... Whats popping off... Do any of you know? Does it have anything to do with pringles? Whats shinin? I'm not ghettotastic enough. Shinin like a light? Ooooo. Urbandictionary.com says it's starting something, ie. a fight or party. Then he said shinin. I'm confused. I think I'm gonna go. *backs out of room slowly* Adios pancake taco person guy. Errrr.... Adios buddy or enemy. There.

     June 7, 2004-OMG! I'm reading the BIOS of Gwar. It's great. Philosophy on dating, rape it, kill it, then rape it again. Diet, Vegitarians, lol. I'm funny. A funny bunny. I am a cronker bunck. You know what I mean. I don't know what I mean... lol. I'm hillarious. Hahahahha. I think I'll go to the vet and get some chinese food ingredients. I think I want to go to now. Eh... Once in band camp... I think I'll have a bagel. A bagel with cheese... ewww... It's a blue berry bagel and all we have is chedder cheese. I think I'll skip that meal, lol. There is a time in everyones life where they explode, it's just inevitible. Thats my final words for today. Adios.

     June 6, 2004-You have been sperminated. Thats right, lol. But seriously. I thought of a serious topic for todays discussion to make up for yesterdays... dibocle. I'm going to talk about one of the hardest things lifes asked of me. Leaving vo-tech all last week. I was having so much trouble, it was painful. Monday was the easiest because only my friend krissy stopped going that day... and I have her screen name and get to chat with her frequently. Tuesday was hard because my friend marissa left. I don't know if I'll ever see her again, I forgot to give her my number, I have no way of contacting her. Wednesday was my last day, and that was the hardest. Luckily me and my friend stacey exchanged numbers so I have a way of contacting her. These 3 people are the most accepting people I know. That is insane because I know a lot of accepting people. It would be a shame to lose any of them. Especially because most my friends are as crazy as me. Thats a feat not many accomplish, I just meet them all. You know whats the funnest type of music in the world to play? Grunge Metal. It's so fun. But I officially made my fingers bleed on my bass for the first time in months. That takes a lot. It's because all grunge bass is, is sliding. I get to f*** around. I love summer. I am going to attack donkeys with carrot sticks. Well, I need to get on that, so bye.

     June 5, 2004-My friend ate a block of cheese like a candy bar today. It was so sad. He does it every time I see him. I swear he is going to have a heart attack today. I think I should say something funny... hmmm... Well. Sometimes when a man and a woman... and another man love eachother they will practice something called double penitration. For those of you unclear on what that is its when one man is in infront, one mans in back, and the woman is in the middle. Sometimes when a man and another man are in jail the will try anal sex. That is when two people attept to dominate someones asshole. Sometimes when a woman and a horse love eachother they will make love down by the barn. Sometimes when two german people get together one will shit on the others chest, that is commonly reffered to as a clevlend steamer, but can also be reffered to as a mississippi mud huddle. Sometimes when a man and a woman with no arms love eachother the woman will give the man a foot job. For those of you that do not know what a foot job is that is when a woman removes her foot accessory and massages the mans crotch gently. It is also called foot f***ing, ferrit tassling, and fantastic fiving. Sometimes when a man is recieving a hand job a woman will look for something for the man to sperminate. When she finds a piece of paper it can be called fountain pening. When she finds another mans ass cheeks its called coating the cake or cinnabuning. Sometimes when a man and a plum tree are in love the man will grope the fruit. It can also be called pitching the plum. I think I'm done for now. Bye.

     June 4, 2004-I fixed it. I fixed me dads computer. It's actually fixed. There is no more skipping letters either. It's amazing. I also did my two finals. I am one with school. It's amazing. I have x-box live as well. So basically, I'm set. I am going to go now, because I need to make sure this computers fixed, Adios amigos and amigas! Now ummm... Bye.

     June 3, 2003-Hi. I feel kind of crappy right now. I have 2 finals tommarow and I don't feel like I can do it. I feel like I'm going to bomb... I hope not. Luckily after friday I only have school one more day, wednesday. I think it's dumb too. Dont worry. I know enough to atlest stay from failing. I can tell my english teacher was trying to give me all the hard questions. We reviewed today in english class and everyone was getting like," Who wrote to kill a mocking bird?" I'm all, let me answet that! They were all psst, no. I was all, yes. Shaaaaa... I'm kind of out of it. I ate some Peeps Bunnies. I'm all woah. I will just act like my reward for doing finals is X-box life. I shouldn't have summer school either, so yeah. I'm basically going to have a whole summer to my-self. Then I have a final in Home Ec. I need to cut my finger nails. They arent long, but they are affecting my bass playing. I had fun in vo-tech today. I got to watch a movie, X-Men 2. I got to listen to one of my burned cd's and found out one of the earpieces to my headphones are broke. Damn. I love this band Celtic Frost. They were the originals of Black Metal and Death Metal. The two greatest metals, they indestructable meals. Can't kill black beacause its the shadows, and you cant kill death because its all around you. Someone tried to defend the fag poser goth at my school. They tried to say, your judging him because of how he dresses and the music he listens to. They made them-selves look stupid. Metal is about dressing how you are, and being what you are inside. He isn't metal. He is below the status. Below the status quo. I my-self don't feel comfortable unless I'm wearing full black. It makes me feel like the rooms more open and I'm still closed in without it on. It really creeps me out. I think I am happy that it will be summer soon and I'll get to see some people more, and some people less. I whole f***ing damn year with some people would be hell. The summers the only reason I don't annihilate the human race. There are reasons I should though. I'm getting really sick of relationship problems. Everyone has them, and that including me. They are unbearible. Right now. It feel like the love in me i people sucked out of my blood by my heart. I'm about to give up on f***ing love. I am so lazy when it comes to love. If someones heart is split I just say f*** it. I do not feel like competing. If they love me truely they can get with me. The funny thing is people try to compare their sorrows tomy life and fail, lol. My life is a sob story. It just accumulates. People put words in my mouth a lot. I am very mis understood. Well... Actually, I don't know if its mis-understood or mis-interpreted. I figured out why I feel so great when I have a gilfriend. I have like this thing, where I have absolutely no self-esteem. So when I actually have a girlfriend I am filled with this artificial self-esteem. Because I know one person likes me. At the moment I am completely reassured that no one like me. I just have like, this stupid little dream of me holding someone and us being asleep, and it just is like, the ultimate secure feeling. Like right now though, it feels like I have no security of life, and stability. I really need someone in my life. I can feel secure then, and I can start my life knew and fresh. I can be happy. No more of this gay ass sadness. Just happyness with a little sadness. Right my life is the polar opposite of my dreams. Right now I feel weird. I have found someone who freed me from a guy curse. I am now free to think with my mind, not penis. I feel a little better after talking to my sweetness. I think I'll get going. Adios.

     June 2, 2004-Hola. How are you? I had a horrible day. I was irritable all day. But I figured out everything about getting x-box live. I figured how I'm going to pay for it, how to get it in general, when I'm getting it. I'm just getting rid of final fantasy and saving 80 a year, so yeah.   I'd figure monday will be my first good update in a while... I don't have school that day. I'll saty up till 6 and sleep till 4 again. I do it because I rule. Wow. It's becoming the end of the year really fast. Tommarow is my last day of tech, and then its just half days. It'll be awesome. My ferrit leaves her cage for minute incruments when I leave her door open. Shes weird like that. I think she just feels better having freedom. Tommarows thurday. That means wrestling. I was slap bassing today. It sounded like a beatle receiving a rectal exam. I believe it's quite sad. I think I'll go to sleep at 1. Not that I need to but I have nothing better to do, so adios.

     June 1, 2004-Hi. In 12 days its the 11 month anniversary. It'll be great. It feel like thurday now. God, tell me it's tuesday... Wow. I'm trying to cheer up my friend after one of those sudden break ups. Seriously though. If I got someone who treated me right I'd never leave them. There isnt a reason to then. But I just dont understand people now-a-days. I ask someone out and they doubt I mean it. They must not understand how hard it is for me to ask people out. Now that I have my mind set I know what I want. I'm back to my old self. I don't know what to do anymore though. I don't know if I should try to get with the person I love or move on. She is like, playing games with me, telling me she loves me, then not answering when I ask her out. Not answering is worse than saying no, because it leaves hope. Hope is the worst device ever created by god. It depresses me, lol. Quite sad... Oh well. I'll move on. I should have two poems for the June 13th update. I'm basically grabbing all my poem from school that I can find, I found two. I should find more. Oh mecrov. Hmmmm... I only have 2 days of vo-tech left. Wow. I'm looking at my grades. I wont have any summer school. That is soooo great. I get to have fun this summer. My friends all have sucky summers planned. I'm thinking about making a new story. It is going to be about ghost hunting. Just because, lol. I'm goin to update random stuff a while. Adios.

     May 31, 2004-Hi. I have reached a new low. I used a corn on the cob to hold down my steak while I ripped a piece off of it... It's not healthy. I reached a new low... I'm watching Kane beat up a retard... It's horrible. First he tries to rape Lita, now he beats on a retard. Me and Kane reached our new lows together. Everyone is reaching lows together. It's so great. I am pissed at someone for ending a relationship for no reason. I'm so pissed right now. I'll talk tommarow. Bye.

     May 30, 2004-Wow. My dads computer better get fixed soon. You know what I think is funny. I know who the prime minister of canada is. It's Paul Martin. I rule. I'm eating chocolate. When little kids eat chocolate it looks like they were standning under a donkey with irritable bowel syndrome. IBS, lol. It's 4 in the morning. I'm eating a hunk of chocolate and listening to AC/DC. I'm playing socom II too... I like monkeys. I have a shirt that says, Don't make me call out my flying monkeys. It's grreeaaatt. Yummmmm... I was playing my bass earlier and wished it had more strings. Wow. my video game life and real life are melting together. Do the dew. I'm going to leave. I'll talk to you all tommarow.

     May 27, 2004-Hola. I am calming my-self right now. Today was so boring for the most part. I have fun at vo-tech with my new friend jason. He tried to pierce his ear with a paper clip. It was great. Then he wrote his name on a paper in blood. He wasn't bleeding that bad so he had to try the other ear. He got it though. He didnt get the paper clip through though. It's almost impossible. Wow. I usually don't update till around 11:30. Thats when I put my ferrit away. OOO! I finally got to see Ghost in the Shell. It has a bad ending. You can tell they just had to end it there. It was a great moviethough. I'll see the show then. Need money though, I need a new PS2 as well. I want a new bass and a new tattoo. So I think it's about time to get a job, lol. The bass might cost 600 to a cool thousand. I've seen it for 225 though. I thiknk that was a beaten up one. I think the tattoo will cost about 200 dollars, and the PS2 is 150. We are talking crazy money. One sec. I'm checking this bass's price. There is a 900 dollar bass that I'd actual;ly give head for. OOO! A very nice 500 dollar one. Sooo... Most 6 strings seem to be 500 dollars. So we are looking at 850 dollars to make this happen. I can earn that in one summer. I wont have a summer, but I'll have a PS2, bass, and tattoo. Oh well. WOW! A seven string bass. Holy hell. There. A siv string for 349. That wwill be my bass probably. Thats what I need. The thing that I can't get used to with the guitar is how little those strings are. They are mice strings. Bass is a damanding intrument and I play that shiz too hard. Sometimes it can sound like I'm playing slap bass when I'm going regular. I am getting a little bored with 4 strings. I'll admit it. I can't play a guitar because it pisses me off being so gentle to something that isnt alive, and it is getting boring with 4 strings. So the best bet is to skip a five string and get a six. I can handle it. It's just going to be a welcome change. Now I want these f***ing boots. Hot topic I hate you. Lol. They are the kewlest ones ever and the p[rice of a video game. I'm definitally going to get them. Hot topics deffinition of a goth is studs. Thats all... My trench is studless. It has chains and is sexy black leather. I'm making me a new pirate neclace. Lol. I'm going to go. Adios mis amigos. I know "spanish".

     May 26, 2004-Hi. I can't decide what to make this site. I was thinking a stone backround with glowy red letters. But I thought stone, with blood smeared, and the letters look etched into it like stone. I think that would be sweet looking. Thats probably what will happen. This is going to require a lot of skills I learned in vo-tech. Advanced layering included, god I hated that lesson. Other than that its messing with fonts and the airbrush, not too hard, but it's a bit tedious. Actually I take that back, it is hard and kind of tedious. I've been listening to the pixies a lot lately. I was listening to the beastie boys earlier. It was years since I listened to them. Funky Monkey, lol. White people rap is the best rap. Insane Clown Posse... Wow, I might get to sleep good tonight. It's cold for once!*smiles* I love to sleep in the cold cuz then blankets get to not kill me... I need blankets to sleep comfortably. I played my bass a few hours today. My fingers aren't that hurt either. Someone was snapping me with a rubber band though. It left a lot of marks, but didn't hurt at all. I'm listening to music. My natural reactin to preparing for sleep. I do it because it is entertaining enough whee it doesn't put me to sleep of excite me enough to stay awake. It's that beautiful medium. I still didnt watch Ghost in the Shell. Tommarow I guess. I'm going to get going now. Listening to a song by AC/DC, Big balls. Ta ta tater tots.

     May 25, 2004-I feel so f***in horrible. Everyones been pissing me off all day, and I tried to bee happy at vo-tech and was constantly told to shut up and shit. I just can't handle any emotional abuse. They might have been joking, but I dunno. Ever since the 23rd when a friend of mine said go away I've felt f***ed up. I'm just to gentle of something. I'm just sitting here listening to one of my heros Alice Cooper. He cheers me up a lot. Right now I'm emotionally beaten down. I'm so numbed. My toungue hurts like hell too. I was eating life savers, and ate a whole pack. Now my toungue is all cut up. Right now I feel like no one cares about me. I'm just going to go with the flow. If people want to tell me to f*** off I'l just go and if people are just ignoring me I'll just act like I'm not there. Hopefully tommarow will be better. Who knows. I accomplished one thing today. I got a copy of Ghost in the Shell. I'm going to check that shit out tommarow. Maybe I'll check some Aeon Flux out. I saw something made by the same creator. Reign the Conquerer, It wasn't bad, but all the duded look like chicks, and all the chicks are kind of dudish. It's weird. They are all kind of unisex. I mean, when you draw a certain sex girls have boobs and dudes got a package, in Reign the Conquerer all the dudes are wearing man-panties and weilding big weapons because of their lack of testicular fortitude. All the ladies in Reign the Conquerer are either in a very ornate dress, full armor, or lacking clothes. I think in Reign they all can run around naked like little kids because of their lack of definition. I forgot to eat again. Shit. 2 days in a row I just totally forgot to eat dinner. It's 11:50 so it's too late to eat. I can't fall asleep on a full stomach. I'll wake up sick. I was eating lifesavers and ice all day because it's so damn hot out. I hate heat, and I hate light. I hate those little f***ing 7th graders at my school. I am in a high school and we have little kids there. They run through the halls knocking into you and thier 4 foot tall. I accidentally elbow the cunts and I can't stand when stranger touch me. I believe if anyone is going to touch me it should be my friends, and if posible it should be sexually. I'm going to go eat ritz bits before I go to sleep. Right when I get done listening to this ac/dc song. Adios all.

     May 24, 2004-Hi. I'm watching music... Windows Media Player 9. Hell yeah. Me and my frind in socom weird talkin and having a comversation about WWE while watching it. Oh yeah, we were doing it through socom and he lives in canada. It's awesome. We were laughing our asses of at triple h smacking shawn micheals ass. It was hilarious. Then this dude came in I know named Krowe. He was doping arnold impressions for like 45 minutes, I swear. Lol. I played like 2 games of socom in 3 hours of being logged on. Lol. I had fun today. Today in vo-tech my teacher got on me about not doing anything, but then me and my friend krissy went and chilled in the back drawing. It was neat. I drew an armored robot rabbit thingy and a gun toting porqupine. It was awesome. She was drawing a warewolf. Good times, good times. I tried using my cd player today, and it didn't turn on... Lol. I think I kicked it too hard. Oh well. I'm thinking of how to build the site once I remodel it. Those are the same things, lol. I'm so f***ing stupid. Mwuhahaha! Bed of Nails by Alice Cooper= Fudgin' awesome. I need to get going. I'm like dying. Adios space cowboy.

     May 23, 2004-Yup. No computer at my dads this weekend either. It's in the shop now, well, some dudes fixing it. He will probably end up re-installing windows again. It's sad really. Now this computers f***ing up. I can't even got on socom, but I can get on final fantasy. I can't figure this out. God is playing games with me. I'm going to basically say f*** it tilll tommarow. I'm going to really depend on my friends to calm me down. I always need people to calm me down... I can't do it my-self. Wow... This is a weird song. I don't think it's by Alice Cooper, Sing Low, Sweet Cheerio. It's neat. Almost jazz and rock combined, really weird. It's more believable. I was listening to another one of his songs I can see how it could be him. I'm aiming to get a new tattoo for christmas hopefully. If not I'll be getting a new 6-string bass. It's great. I have 2 great possibilities. I'm getting an Iron Cross on my right arm. I was thinking on my chest, but I think I'll get my wifes name there when I get a wife, lol. Get the Iron Cross on my heart and my wife above it. It would mean being a husbhands more important than being german. Thats a sweet message in my mind... Lol. I'm going to leave now. I'm going to play my bass a bit. Adios.

     May 20, 2004-Hi. I got my last task done in vo-tech for this year today. I just need to do my final project, and I'm done. I'm going to make a cat in a poofy coat in the dessert. I get to mess around the resyt of my time in shop after that. YES!!! I don't stop going to vo-tech until June 3rd, my friend Krissy is June 1st. 2 days of suckyness! It will rule. Errrr... suck. Guess what! I like Socom II. Ahhhh!!! I need to go! Music shit, adios.

     May 19, 2004-Ahhhhh!!! It's so late. I was listening to music. I didnt reALIZE THE TIME. sO I NEED TO HURRY!!!!!! Oops. Caps lock. Ahhhhh!!! I'm going crazy man, c-r-azy! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Not really. I'm just tired. I was playing my bass. I loose track of time a lot. Especially with my bass, they are beautiful. Lol. What the hell am I talking about? I'm going to leave now, lol. Bye.

     May 18, 2004-Hi. AOL went poof. It's all I can say. I was on AOL and Socom and it kicked me off both, so I went and played for a half hour and came back cuz i already hurt my firgers. Well. They were hurt from yesterday. Just one actually. My point finger on my right hand. It's my main plucking finger although I can use my midfdle good and my ring okay. I got one long ass task done at vo-tech today. Okay. I want to make a cartoon now, and I want to make a flash version of this site. I don't know what to do so I'll probably do both. I'm probably going to make everything you see in white stone that fades to black with white writing that looks chalky until you put your pointer over it. Yes I've been thinking of it, lol. I also thought of the main character, killium. He is a robot created from a robotic hell where all the robots that are scrapped go. He is made of ancient parts, but weilds a sickle, and has a crazy broken speech. He used tapes saying of the words he means. It will make him seem more robotic. I was reletively productive today. I watched Cowboy Bebop the movie. I really needed to after my teacher mentioned bebop jazz. The only jazz I like. It's so fast passed. I can stand the love songs too. Yeah, aol went poof while I was updating. It's okay though. I'll live having to re-update. I was lucky. I barely started. I am going to keep saving throughout this thing this time. I am afraid to lose more. OMG! I have this huge crush on my friend. I asked her out and I'm so nervous, but I hink we might go out, I don't want to sound cocky or anything. I can tell my internet connections a bit slower. It must have been the thunder. I got to admit aol came through that ti8me, maybe it was verizon, who knows. Good show to the both of you. I think I finally figured out my funeral. Okay. I want to be burned into ashes and put in a vase. Not a regular one. A pretty one. Silver with black little jewels on the side. I'm not saying special expensive jewels, just black rocks, hell coal. I don't care. I also want to have my spiked collar on it. It may sound silly, but thats me. At my funeral I want on song to play. No more mister nice guy by alice copper. Just so you know I don't want a long funeral service, I just want a lil something that people wont forget. OOO! If I could be garranteed this website would be up forever I'd put the URL on my tombstone. That would be crazy, reading the thoughts of someone thats been dead for 30 years. Someone who wasn't famous, or even impacted the world. Especially these thoughts. They are all like, morbid, lol. I really make my-self seem like a depressed person but I'm not. I'll admit I go through my times, but I'm not really that depressed. We all go through those times. Well, lets leave this topic. Okay, I'm thinking of starting to write reviews for this site. I'll probably put it under reaping the benifits since that sucks balls as it is. I'm getting ready to sleep, so I need to put my ferrit away, one sec. Okay. I found her. She is in her cage. It's getting late though. So I think I'll be going to sleep. I'm still pissed that I can't own a raven legally. It totally benificial to them to live with us humans too. They can live up to 30 years with us. In the wild its 7-8 years. They can talk too! Better than parrots actually because they have bigger brains, best bird ever... Well. I have to get going. I have school tommarow and the times starting to catch up with my, so adios amigos and space cowboys.

     May 17, 2004-Hi. In vo-tech today I got three tasks done. Thats f***ing crazy. I'm anticipating the new wrestling game for playstation 2. I'm trying to find info on it, no luck. It says they are keeping it a secret till after E3. In short, unless you work for Yukes your f***ed. Yes. I'm glad they make it though. I can't wait to see it. I get to watch wrestling now! Yay! I'm listening to cradle of filth before wrestling. I'm hoping to god they have multiple costiumes for create-a-wrestlers in smackdown! vs raw. It's great. I really hope I can have multiple suits. Playing it today I realized my guy looks like a really buff dani filth. I want to exploit that. I'm going to make a super awesome dani filth look if theres asecond suit avaliable next game. I'm going to get going, so see ya.

     May 16, 2004-My dads computer still is horrid. Okay. I think I'm roasting... This is horrible. 90 degress atleast. Okay. It's cooling down. I feel like I'm dying... I died me hair black. It' so sweet. Just looking. Lol. I had to overdose on beef jerky this weekend. My friend kept handing me beef jerky. Woah. I'm like, dead. Sooooo tired. I think I need to go. I really think I should. So I'm going to get going, bye bye.

     May 13, 2004-I've been living a lie. Today is the 10 month anniversary of this website. I thought it was the 11th. Oh well. I'm going to start work on a flash version of this site soon. It's going to be a lot of work, but It will look cool. Don't expect to see it for a while, if ever. That means I'll have to switch to someone other than yahoo... I like yahoo though. It's very reliable. Especially for a free service. I'm so happy. 10 months and going strong. I wrote a poem. I hope you all like it. It's called, Success is. I like it. I got in trouble in school for writing it. They called my mom in. It's a poem about not killing your-self. Tell me how thats suicidal. You will see it if you look. If you don't it's your loss. I'm listening to a band called Dragonforce, it's great, but it's the type of music you would feel dumb listening to infront of people. My friend is a hick, he told me so, lol. My friend started singing this song. Yelling with a death metal scream hurts like a bitch. I need to go post the poem, bye.

     May 12, 2004-I did it... I made my childrens book. It's so awesome. It's pretty too... I can't believe I made it. Tumble Bee the tumble bee. I'm awesome. I'm still in shock... It took 9 and a 1/2 hours. I'm in shock. Let me think if I did anything else. Nope, lol. I listened to music. ACDC! w00t! Time to go, bye bye.

     May 11, 2004-I'm working on a childrens book. I'm so stupid. I'm doing it for school. I'm going to currupt the little children. More than TV and rap music combined. I can do it, I know I can. I am so hot right now. It's like 100 degrees in here. From the comp and the playstation being on at the same time I guess. I'm going to get going. Bye.

     May 10, 2004-Wow. Today was weird. I saw somebody get naked on my vo-tech bus, though the actual nakedness only lasted a minute. He was in his boxers most the time. It was crazy. I was working on this project for school, I'm making a childrens book. 5 days to make the illustrations is too little. I need to go, I feel so sick it's not funny, and I'm starting to move past the class at vo-tech, so I need to go tomarrow. Half my class is behind, so I'm going to go. I still have shit to do before I sleep and/or pass out. Bye.

     May 9, 2004-Wow. An eventful weekend. My dads computer isn't working and we think its too much spyware. That's the shit that ruins computers slowly where viruses only take one to do it. We can't reinstall windows either because the damn startup disk is for windows 98 and we have ME. I'm happy I have XP here. I was on Socom way too much this weekend. I joined a new clan. We are almost family, lol. I know a lot of there names. Its sad. Actually its the opposite, it's awesome. I am sorry I didnt update those 2 days. I couldn't. I couldn't go on Yahoo Page builder. Grrrrrr... I am gonna make up qwords for all those days though. So see ya later alligator.

     May 6th, 2004-Hi. I had write this stupid report in english, I double spaced it, lol. I'm gonna post it, just a sec.

What �Our lives are frittered away by details� means to me is we waste our lives away paying too much attention to detail. In my opinion someone who doesn�t spend their lives paying attention to detail�s auto-biography should look more like a pamphlet. It would probably have twice as much content in it. When I think of frittered I think of a tasty treat, and in all honesty, that�s what it means. Although you may waste your life away, you will most likely enjoy your-self while doing it. In my opinion frittering your life away isn�t wasting it if you enjoy it. I know most people believe spend your life to the fullest, but fullest is different to everyone.

That was 3 paragraphs. It's sad really. I am so unmotivated when it comes to that crap. It's like busy work. My grandfather, let me tell you, since he died, a little chunk of me is gone. I didnt know I cared this much about him. He was my grandfather, but yeah. I have had no energy, no matter when I sleep. It's bad. My, my. I'm going to go on final fantasy a little soon. Just sampling some ac/dc songs, I like them. I'm like so tired, I'm dieing, I swear. I think I'll go now. I just have no energy. Hopefully soon I will. Bye.

I think living your life to the fullest means enjoying it, so sitting in front of the TV isn�t wasting a day to me. A certain amount of human contact is required in someone�s day in my opinion. I figure if I can sleep at night I�ve done enough. It�s all gravy though. I figure, if it feels good, do it. Because if it feels good, you enjoy it.

In all honesty, if you feel you�ve wasted your day, it�s most likely other people do. I know sometimes you can�t control getting hung up. Everyone knows that fact. Frittered really sounds like it means �Having life stolen slowly�, but I think it means being taken while enjoying it. It�s not necessarily a un-full day. The simple answer is not to get hung up on details. This very report is a detail to get hung up on, so, I�m done being hung up on it, because I�ve said pretty much all I can, so I wont say any more.

     May 5th 2004-Okay. I went to a funeral today. I really need my friends help though these times. I've seen things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I've seen everything from people so thin they couldnt move, to sweet old ladies crying. All because of bone cancer. Yeah.. My ferrit is sick, so shes not aloud outside. I was looking online, it might last months. It's almost like sinus problems with ferrits. I feel bad for her. Shes so little. She sneezed earlier!!! I thought that was so cute. Awe! My ferrit is so adorable. Oh well. Wow. I think I'm going to leave. Bye.

     May 4th, 2004-Hi. It's the day before my grand fathers funeral, and It's bringing ap memories. Dispite my bad memories It took a hour to fix my computer after pretty much wasting my day. I'm glad I don't have school tommaorw, I can use the sleep, and the time alone. I'm watching Trigun. I think I'm going to watch some more anime, then maybe play socom... Naaaa... No socom tonight. I'm too tired, then I gotta get dressed up... Atleast it wont be bright out tommarow. I like anime, lol. I'm scatter brained today. Reall scatter brained. I need to go let my comp run scan disk and stuff, it's prettty hagard. Bye.

     May 3rd, 2004-Hi. It wasn't as bad as I thought. The funerals wednesday. Yeah, I get to hear bagpipes, and I get a reason to wear all black.... My ex tried to start shit again, she definitally f***ed her-self... I'm done playing her damn games. Grawr. Wrestling has reached a new low... A retard...err... "special person". I wanna be special, too bad I'm not. I never heard bag pipes live... I think I should take up the intrument. I think at my funeral I want to have bagpipes, that reminds me, I gotta tell my mom about the funeral, brb. Back. I just think that was necessary. Schools over soon. Vo-tech is over in 3 weeks. Regular school is later than that. It's going to rule. No vo-tech means half days. Half days mean going back to sleep for a few hours after school. It also means not having to walk home. It's shway. Basically though, at vo-tech next year there aren't going to be many awesome people to talk to. Yeah... I'm going to get going, writters block... Bye.

     May 2nd, 2004-I really don't want to go to school tommarow. Boo... I can't say school is exactly the thing to make me get over my grandfather dieing. I'm just going to sit there all day thinking about it. How sunken in he looked.... His eyes looked gone. It wasn't good. I'm glad I wasn't forced to go watch him die. I can't handle that. My friend that adandoned me IMed me today. She didnt get that I was angry because she didn't talk to me till the day after my grandfather died. She waited till my weekend of hell was over. Really two people abandoned me. But the one apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. I believe her. It seemed to come from her heart. Wow. I am steadily getting better with my bass. It's very rewarding. Other than the fact My fingers have burns on them, lol. It's not that bad, I'll live.... You know whats funny. A lot of people I know like, refuse to wear black. It's always blue. I think it's funny. It makes me feel evil. There I am dressed in all black, with lots of spikes and chains. I stand out. It doesnt matter though. People just don't understand. I'm a christian who likes devil music, lol. Your religion has nothing to do with your look. I mean, music doesn't even have to do with your look. How you dress should show how you are on the inside, and how you are comfortable. I feel naked without spiked and chains. I feel naked without black. If my school got a dress code prohibiting black, I'd move... It's true. I'd leave and never look back. Wow. I just was watching the lead singer/ bassist of slayer play. I can definitaly do that. I'm not a good singer though. I couldn't do 2 things at once, just bass. Slayer is a great band. The video I have is from 1986. Thats before I was born. Just thinking that that was taped 2 years before I was born...   It's crazy. Tonght is definitally slayer night, lol. I'm gonna listen to some alice cooper, but slayer! Gotta have some slayer. I'm going to get going. I need my sleep. Adios, keep fighting for a day where nothing matters. Bye.

     May 1st, 2004-Hi. Today was pretty eventful. I mean, my grandfather died. Some of my friends like are still turning a cold shoulder on me. So the answer is no. Death isnt enough to stop them. Oh well. I probably wont forgive them. They werent there for me at the time I needed them most. I can tell you I wont even attept to be close to them anymore. They can't abandon me the day before my grandfather dies they better not expect me to be their friend. I'm still really like, bleh. I have no idea what to think. He went out not being able to hear, talk, or see. He had bone cancer in his back and it spread. My official opinion is... life ends, but it shouldn't. Oh. I'm not listening to music right now, it's not appropriate. I need to go. Bye.