My Hero
My number one hero in the whole wide world is Martha Stewart. If I could I would finger her so my hand would become more useful. It is my educated guess her vagina is much like the fountain of youth, just it makes you more skilled at home caring. It is also tight enough that it straitens out even the most crippled hands.
If Martha Stewart was a drink I think she would be Ultra-Sweetened Iced Tea. Not everyone liked her, but those who do like her exclusively. If I could I would stick a finger in her mouth and put it directly into my eye. I full-heartedly believe I�d be healed. After having a rump with her I�d be more skilled then three Stevie Wonders and one Jimi Hendrix.
I think they should send Martha Stewart to Iraq. She would end the war by teaching the Iraqis how to cook a goat with a pencil, one match, a stick of butter, and 1.5 ounces of water. It wouldn�t solve world hunger, just Iraqi hunger. These darn goats have plagued Iraq for too long. Iraqis are technically human. They should have made the goat extinct by now. It�s called natural selection. Maybe they will resort to cannibalism and save everyone from Allah�s wrath. My faith lies not in Allah, but in the great Martha Stewart!
I think Martha Stewart should be president. It would make everyone happy because Martha is Jesus� sister. I whole-heartedly believe my hero Martha Stewart is a messiah. I hope you believe in my teletuby goddess. |
