When the principle investigated, she allegedly found Jones had removed some of his clothing

Editor Comment: Wow. He got arrested? I guess I should stop doing that in my office during lunch.

Let's just make everything illegal, Geez.

The sad thing is, as soon as I read the headline, I assumed it would be a custodian.

I wonder how much jizz mopper gets paid?

Since he was the janitor, at least you could be sure he'd clean up afterwards.

In his defense, he probably thought he was alone.
It just said "some of his clothes" ... maybe he just had his shoes off?

Where else is he supposed to watch it? His wife won't allow it at home.

If watching porn at a middle school after removing some of my clothes is wrong, I don't want to be right.



How to beat a traffic ticket

This article tells you how to avoid getting a traffic ticket and what to do if you get a ticket.

Editor Comment: How to beat a traffic ticket... Have a daddy who's the local chief of police.

Speed limits are supposed to set to the 85th percentile of free flowing traffic. Of course, they're usually not as governments found out that they can use the road as a revenue source by issuing traffic citations.

Government profits from it, therefore it's a tax, therefore all good citizens must pay.

And about going to court. Your best bet is getting a plea agreement with the prosecutor. Get it lowered, pay a fine and leave, because all the municipality's want is the cash.



Dating do's

As National Singles Week kicks off, an expert offers five rule's for meeting Mr. or Ms. Right

Rule No. 1: Get out there
Rule No. 2: Know thyself
Rule No. 3: Take dating less seriously
Rule No. 4: Don't look too hard
Rule No. 5: Learn to like yourself single

Editor Comment: After reading that article, I have an even greater sense of doom than before.

Rule six... get used to being single.

Writer left out "kiss their ass a lot". That's a rule for success in life in general, kiss a lot of ass and you can be a complete worthless imbecile and still live quite comfortably.

"Just never come off as needy and desperate".
... What if you are desperate? As a man, you have to do all the work. Forget all that feminist bullshit you heard, their feminist convictions end where it would inconvenience them. They want to have all the advantages of being the weaker sex, along with all the advantages of "equality", but no drawbacks of either. Get that in your head, it'll help. So pretend she's your equal, but treat her like a child: You do all the calling, all the paying, all the planning.

Don't waste your time on fat chicks... life's just too short for that sort of shit...

If you read that whole dam boring article, you're already trying too hard.



Salon.com ask the question is being an adult woman virgin a curse

It was once a badge of honor. But to the surprising number of adult women today who have not had sex, virginity is nothing but a curse.

Editor Comment: This is one of the worst articles I have ever read about human sexuality.

I love virgins. Sounds like this woman in particular just dates freaks.

Virgins are like a piece of clay that you can mold into whatever you want. And they'll do it thinking it is normal. Good times!

This chick could have any guy eating out of the palm of her hand and call all the shots in the relationship. Of course, I can't help that those first two dudes were gay.

If a man refuses to sleep with a woman because for the sole reason that she is a virgin, that man is a homosexual.



The art of sneaking around movie theatres

Sure-fire tactics that will get you past any movie usher.

Editor Comment: If you can't sneak yourself into a movie you are a complete retard. This article was lame, thought it might teach something useful... all the shit in it was purely common sense.

The most important rule: You must look like you know what you're doing. Don't ever look suspicious or nervous.

You can get away with just about anything using this rule.

Anyone have any tips on how to get free popcorn and drinks too?

Most theaters have free refills on the super, jumbo, large sizes. If you don't mind dumpster diving its a great way to score some free refills. I just look for someone who just sets their bucket & drink "on" the garbage. Usually you can profile the "cleanliness" of the person dropping the goods. (Women are usually cleaner than men; they wash their hands more). Dump the contents quickly, rinse out the cup.

Doesn't it bother anyone that this is not only illegal, but unethical? Pay the 8 bucks and let those that brought this to you get paid. Otherwise, do us all a favor and stay home.

Movies are paid for by the advertisements now, there is no need to purchase tickets anymore.

I may do an all day theater run this weekend.



Steve Irwin, Australian icon, killed by stingray

At 11 AM today, the 4th September 2006, Steve Irwin (Crocodile hunter) was fatally wounded by a stingray barb to his heart whilst filming a sequence on Batt Reef off port Douglas for his daughter's new TV series.

Emergency services were called from Cairns Rescue Base and met Croc One, Steve's vessel at Low Isle on the Great Barrier Reef.

The Croc crew performed constant CPR during the thirty minute dash to Low Isle, but the medical staff pronounced Steve dead at approx. 12 noon.

His producer and closest friend, John Staintion said on Croc One today, "The world has lost a great wildlife icon, a passionate conservationist and one of the proudest Dads on the planet. he died doing what he loves best and left this world in a happy and peaceful state of mind."

Editor Comment: Darwin's been running a tab on this guy for years.

Frankly, I'm amazed he managed to cheat death for as long as he did.

I was hoping this was a hoax. This is a sad, sad hour.

We die as we live. To die while doing what one enjoys, that brings education of the world around us, is as noble a death as there is.

He died doing what he loved to do; it is how I think he would have wanted to go.

There is room for humor in Steve's death. He found something positive in everything he came across. I am sure he would rather have people celebrate his life and person, then mourn his death.

He boasted that all the money he earned was spent on wildlife and it appears to be true. He lived in a modest bungalow and spent millions buying up areas of wilderness parks.

Steve joins a list of distinguished wildlife protectors...
Jacques-Yves Cousteau
Richard Marlin Perkins
Dian Fossey