Katie Holmes is growing distant from family and friends as she "worships" the Scientology religion Cruise recruited her to.

Editor Comment: And we are supposed to worry about this over privileged little idiot.

The good news: a newspaper finally used the word "cult" three times in referring to Scientology. The bad news: The Sun is about to meet Scientology's lawyers and its unimaginably deep pockets.

Scientologists are the lowest form of life on earth. Some of the dumbest people I've ever met. The sad thing is, they actually believe all that garbage.



Fort Lauderdale to provide housing aid for families making up to 70k a year

People making moderate incomes - up to 70k - might soon join the ranks of the city's poor in being eligible for housing welfare.

Editor Comment: Poor middle class...

According to reality (http://www.census.gov/hhes/www/income/medinsizeandstate.html), this means that well over half the people in your state are either poor or college students.

Either we've got a real problem on our hands and should immediately start shipping cardboard boxes down south, or our buddy Fred is full of shit.

If you can't make it on $70K then you are a financial moron. I don't care "Where" in the US you live.

If the city is too expensive, then move. Government intervention does little good in this case.

The price of homes are high because everyone is moving to Flordia! Let the prices go up so people will stop moving there.

This is Ft. Lauserdale. From I-95 to the beach is about 10 minute drive. The home west of I-95 are affordable. The homes 30 minutes up the coast are affordable.

The funny thing is defending that the government should help these people buy homes. They are on a freaking beach! One of the more sought after beaches in the country! Should everyone be able to afford beachfront property now?

People living beyong their means is the problem here.

We are one step closer to working for the government and having them provide us with what they deem necessary.



"Brokeback Mountain" dubbed "Faggot Cowboys" in Turkey

The pirate DVD version of "Bare Back Mountain" made it to Turkey before the official screenings had a chance to, and evidently the title they've gone with translates to Turkish to "Faggot Cowboys."

Editor Comment: Sounds like they have stricter truth in advertising laws.

The movie is referred to as "Fudgepack Mountain" in our office.

Real Cowboys don't lay on their stomach on the open range.

Why are they called cowboys when they're herding sheep?

Overheard while a co-worker of mine was talking to his partner on the phone at the office: "*****", you're coming over? Good. Cause this mountain isn't gonna get brokeback by itself."



Exxon back in court over 1989 Valdez spill fine

It's been nearly 17 years since the Exxon Valdez spilled 11 million gallons of crude oil along the Alaska coast in one of the country's worst environmental disasters, and a jury's $5 billion judgment against the company is still tied up in the courts.

Exxon argues it should have to pay no more than $25 million in punitive damages.

Accrued interest could bring the total amount to nearly $9 billion.

Editor Comment: LOL, record profits, no restitution!

This coming from a company who raises gas prices while at the same time posting the highest 3rd and 4th quarter earning of any company in the history of the stock market?

This from oil executives that always drop oil prices during investigations?

This from a company that will make millions just from the speculation (that it creates) about false oil surplus shortages or trouble from the Middle East?

Exxon has no intention of paying anything. You realize that they've had money in interest-bearing accounts to offset the cost of this suit, and so all they're going to do at best is hand over the interest from that money. After 17 years, you know they're sitting on quite a bed of cash for this, so this is just a great way for them to increase shareholder returns.

Exxon couldn't care any less for the harm they caused - they're a corporate entity whose sole purpose is to maximize shareholder returns. Period. Fighting this is still cheaper than paying, apparently, so they're going to keep fighting it.

If appeals are found to have no reasonable legal base and or are rejected constantly, fines should be treated with interest as well. If there is a decent basis and they aren't just stalling, then, they have the right.

After payment is removed (treated as preferential debtors), the CEO and CFO and head of legal will be personally liable for any employment contracts terminated. And the shareholders for the lost return due to expanses of the fines due to refusal to pay. Somehow I think this would curtail appeals without basis.

It was cheaper for Exxon to buy the government instead, that's fucking sad.



Congress get Hustler magazine, even if it is unwanted

The porn magazine arrives every month at your congresssman's office.

The latest edition of Hustler goes to all 535 members of Congress. Free of charge.

Not that most members want it. it usually gets thrown in the trash.

Members of Congress have sued to make it stop, only to lose. Something about the public being able to seek redress from Congress mean they have to take it.

The magazines have been coming for more than a decade. Publisher Larry Flynt says he started sending them as soon as his magazine began publication.

Editor Comment: This is why Larry Flynt is one of my hero's.

Larry Flynt is an ugly crippled badass... he ain't no rocket scientist, but the guy has guts, and is not afraid to follow through or back up his statements.

Only in the United States... People bitching about free porn. When I find free porn its like its my lucky day.

Who doesn't want free pie and chips?

Most of them don't want it? Most of them throw it away? I don't buy it.

I'll bet that lots of them go and fish it out of the trash later, after the interns go home.

"It's a disgusting abuse of the system," Cannon says. "It's a nasty, tricky little thing to do by a person with no conscience." And remember, this is a Congressman saying this with a straight face.

I'm sure some Senators are grateful. Ted Kennedy comes to mind.

Daniel Weiss, a senior analyst for media and sexuality for the conservative religious group Focus on the Family, says that members of Congress who don't want the mailing should work with the Postal Service to make them stop. And if that doesn't work, they should ask the Justice Department to investigate whether the magazine is obscene and have it blocked.

Justice department answer? No.

That was easy.

Daniel Weiss obviously never watched The People vs. Larry Flynt.

The fact that this is coming out of congress, the most corrupt, glad-handing organization in the world is... well, funny.

BTW, Mr. Flynt, I'm a member of the US Congress, but you've failed to send me my Hustler's, please do so immediately.



Wearing orange, governor's safe from VP

Jeb Bush made light of Dick Cheney's accidental shooting while in Tampa Monday.

Like other guest, the governor was given "No Farmers, no Food" sticker.

Bush made a show of placing the sticker on his chest. The sticker was bright orange - like a hunting jacket.

"I'm a little concerned that Dick Cheney is going to walk in".

Editor Comment: The orange vest didn't help Mr. Whittington.

Jeb Bush is a piece of shit like his brother, father, uncle, and grandfather.

So Jeb was told to draw heat off this whole thing by making lighthearted jokes about it, good job, puppet.

My favorite thing is that they're calling it a "peppering". Peppered my ass. He shot the fucker in the face.

I've hunted before, and I just don't understand how you "accidentally" shoot someone who is wearing a blaze orange vest and hunting cap. Was Cheney shooting with his eyes closed?

Cheney has the worst aim since Bill Clinton.

Clinton shot a load in someone's face too.



Tom Cruise & Katie Holms - it's over!

Life & Style has learned exclusively that Tom Cruise and Katie Holms have agreed to call off their wedding - and, ultimately, to split.

A friend adds: "They both agreed that the marriage wouldn't work and they wanted to end it before they learned to hate each other."

The insider say that Tom, 43, and Katie, 27, plan to keep up the charade of a romance until after their baby's birth this spring. In the meantime, the couple will live in his Beverly Hills home - though sleep in separate bedrooms.

Editor Comment: So all that jumping around, screaming and generally acting like a juvenile moron was a complete waste of Tom's time?

Guess she finally realized what a freak he was.

I wonder who his publicist will pick to replace her.

Tom Cruise used to be "It". Now he's just a joke. Kinda sad, if you think about it.

Now he can finally come out!

"The couple will live in his Beverly Hills home though sleeping in separate bedrooms through the summer." Like it's been any different up till now. Watch the baby be black.

Is there anybody left who still wants to argue that he's not gay?

Don't worry about Tom. He'll be back on his knees in no time.



Epilepsy jokes stir up anger

Are seizures funny? Joy Bardwel doesn't think so. The Fla. woman has epilepsy. So does her 3-year-old daughter. So when a recent Two and a Half Men episode on CBS womanizer Charlie faking epilepsy and describing himself as "damaged goods" Bardwell wasn't laughing.

She was among people with epilepsy and their families who complained to CBS.

The epilepsyt community is fed up - and, increasingly speaking up, says former California congressman Tony Coelho.

Editor Comment: Does having epilepsy curtail one's sense of humor?

This bitch needs to lighten up. Everyone and everything is the brunt of some joke at one point or another.

The only things I find offensive are: idiots who can't take a joke.

Epileptics are jerks.

If you don't like what you are seeing or hearing, change the channel... and if there's enough people that agree with you, the show won't last... don't raise hell cause you sat there and watched it and choose to be offended...

I am epileptic. So I am really getyrfxtdjingcin vfgnjdnxng xbdxg bzdsvzsxs



Oops! - Bush unaware mikes were still on

The easedropping tables were turned on President Bush on Friday. The president apparently believed he was speaking privately when he talked about listening in without a warrant on domestic communications. But reporters were the ones doing the listening in this time.

The incident happened at a House Republican retreat, reports were ushered out. "I support the free press, let's just get them out of the room," Bush said, intending to speak behind closed doors with fellow Republicans and take lawmakers questions.

However, the microphones stayed on for a few minutes. That allowed journalists back at the White House to eavesdrop on Bush's defense of the eavesdropping.

Editor Comment: Wow... this story really hits home for me. My roommate and Bush both seem to share the belief that illegally spying on other people is perfectly acceptable behavior, funny how neither of them can effectively justify their illegal monitoring.

The minute I get independently wealthy I'm going to buy an Island so I can escape this new land of stupidity.



Boy charged with felony for powdered sugar

Police in Aurora have confirmed that a 12-year-old boy who said he brought powdered sugar to school for a science project last week has been charged with a felony for possessing a look-alike drug.

Aurora police arrested the boy after a custodian at the school reported the boy.

The sixth grade student was also suspended for two weeks from school.

Editor Comment: Nice of the authorities to finally recognize that sugar is a drug.

This story really depressed the hell out of me.

Why don't they just go to the high school and find the people doing actual drugs.

Meanwhile, court resources will be used that could have potentially gone towards a more urgent case that involves a real crime.

How much money is this stupidity costing the people of Aurora?

This is why I take no active part in society.



Trio charged for holding sordid parties for teens

An auto mechanic accused of molesting a 15-year old girl invited teenagers to house parties where drugs and alcohol were served and a woman performed a striptease. Two other people were charged with endangering the welfare of a child.

A 16-year old boy said he attended parties at Leakey's home, was uncomfortable with what was going on and went to the sheriff's office.

Leakey told troopers he allows runaway teens to stay at his home. "He basically said that these are troubled kids, and he could give them some guidance and help them out".

Editor Comment: I fail to see a problem here... Is it just me?

A 16-year old boy attended parties at Leakey's home, was uncomfortable with what was going on (got turned down for sex by every girl at the party) and went (pranced) to the sheriff's office.

What I think is funny is that he attended parties. Not just one. Apparently, he had to go to several, just to make sure that he was uncomfortable.

Dude that is so Brokeback... In two years these kids will be in college and they'll be doing the same thing.

Why does something tell me that this kid is about to take a peer sponsored beatdown for closing down the party shack.

20 years from now, he'll look back on this and go "Christ, I'm such a fucking idiot".

In Leakey's defense he did say they were all troubled kids and he was just trying to give them some guidance. It's getting to be that you just can't help people anymore without someone questioning your motives. Very sad.

So what is the lesson in this? They should have only invited girls!



Girl's sex spree at abbey

Randy Alana May was nabbed having sex in public by police three times in 30 minutes.

Alana and the Romeo were arrested. She said of the romps: "I couldn't wait until I got home."

Editor Comment: In other news, you need to fuck three times in public in the UK to get arrested.

I have zero problem with this. One million more dames like her and we'd all be getting laid.

She looks like a brunette and slightly more sober Courtney Love. She isn't a supermodel, but she's not fugly either. What's hot is the attitude. She said of the romps: "I couldn't wait until I got home". That's my kind of woman.

Public lewdness laws are mainly designed for the park picnic areas that gay men like to frequent. You and your family are sitting down about to enjoy your lunch, and then you see Biff and Tad ass pounding each other. Not good.

Try not to suck any dick on the way out of the parking lot!



Delaware plans to discourage roadside crosses

Delaware plans to create a memorial garden to discourage the proliferation of roadside markers for crash victims.

The memorials have sprouted in the past 20 years, ranging from simple crosses to piles of plastic flowers and stuffed animals. Critics say they can be dangerous nuisances, and some states have been sued for religious memorials on public property.

Editor Comment: To my survivors: Please memorialize my life, and not the location of my last stupidest mistake. Thank you.

The signs all say the fine for littering is $500. I say, enforce it.



Tips for getting over "Brokeback" hump

So why haven't you seen "Brokeback Mountain" yet? The "Brokeback Mountain" phenomenon has become unavoidable. It's hard to find a straight man who has seen the movie and regrets it.

Yet there's one key demographic - straight men ages 18-54 - who can't seem to get over their insecurities and take those last few step to see this landmark film.

But for those who need an extra push are in need of the "Brokeback Mountain" Survival Guide for Heterosexual Men.

Editor Comment: Ah, the San Francisco Comical. Long the worst big-city newspaper in the United States.

This article makes me want to see the movie even less now...

The writer lost me when I read, "watch gay porn", just because he likes gay porn doesn't mean that everyone else does.

The other day there was a column in an L.A. paper that said men were afraid to watch in fear they would get turned on.

It isn't insecurity that keeps people away from this movie. It's morality.

How about the complete lack of respect and infantile arrogance of the people who ask - "Have you seen it?" "No" "What's wrong with you?"

Why must there be something wrong with me just because I don't want to see a movie which will "enlighten me to gayness".

If you can't handle it when others don't share your taste in movies, you're the one with the problem.

Why is it so hard to just accept people don't want to see it because they aren't interested? Just because it is nominated for meaningless awards doesn't make it good.

This film was highly over-rated by critics. Anybody who says this movie is great is trying way to hard to give it credit it doesn't deserve.

I think a lot of people saw the movie multiple times, which might explain why the movie made some money.

I really don't care if it's about gay cowboys eating pudding, It sounds dull. Gay sex is disgusting. No amount of Hollywood writing/story telling is going to change that fundamental truth.

Who the hell wants to see a cowboy movie without gunfights?

If I don't see it, does that make me homophobe, or am I homophobe because homosexual activity goes against my belief system? I didn't see Schindler's List either. Does that make me a Nazi?

Let's thank Peter Hartlaub of the San Francisco Chronicle for teaching us how to be real men.

And once again those aren't cowboys in "Asspack Mountain". They're sheepherders. There's a difference.



Radio jock asks Ryan Seacrest if he is gay, Seacrest refuses to answer; leaves

Local radio star Craig Carton during interview with Ryan Seacrest:

"Ryan", Carton said, "Are you gay?"

Silence

"Ryan, are you a homosexual?"

With that, Seacrest was headed for the door. "I can't stay here, man," Seacrest said. "I gotta jet."

The "American Idol" star stormed out of the studio, but was coaxed back into the studio, only to be asked again. Seacrest ran for the door, this time for good.

Editor Comment: Of course he's gay, so what?

It should have went like this... "You see Ryan, this is how I know you're gay... Because you're gay!"

Sometimes the most obvious comments are the best.

Of course, if he'd admitted it, then the next obvious question was "So, how is Anderson Cooper in bed?"

For someone who's rich and famous despite lacking an ounce of discernable talent, he sure doesn't have any sense of humor about himself.

Immediately, Carton asked "Are you gay?"

"You know," Seacrest said, "I don't know why I trusted you."

Then he busted into tears and said, "I wish I could quit you."

He was more nervous during the interview than a gerbil at a gay pride march.

If the guy likes to kick back with a bottle of Zima and a cock in both hands, who are we to judge?



Kelly Osbourne: Paris Hilton a 'bad influence' on girls!

Singer Kelly Osbourne, daughter of famous British rocker Ozzy Osbourne, has slammed heiress Paris Hilton calling her a 'bad influence' on pre-teen girls. The singer revealed that she was left stunned at finding an 11-year old girl trying to look like Hilton at a recent award show which she attended with her mother.

Editor Comment: I agree. Nothing makes your blood run colder than a room full of 10 year olds dressed up like Paris.

Actually, if you've taken a look at Kelly Osbourne lately she doesn't look all that bad. She's lost weight and cut down on the bad makeup.

As for that ugly skank Paris Hilton, what the fuck is she famous for?

I think it's interesting to note that neither of them knows what it's like to actually work for what they have.

Kelly is at least making an effort at a career, even if it is on the back of Daddy's money and success.

Paris though, is just a media whore. Her only talent is her ability to spend her daddy's money... and swallow.

Honestly, would anyone have paid any attention to Paris had she not 'accidentally' released her sex tape? Probably not.

I think Madonna should take some credit here for being the original teen slut role model. Perhaps Britney Spears should eat some blame too for rehashing it and fueling the current craze that Paris is milking.