Welcome to the joke page! Below are a few jokes that I thought were funny and I hope you enjoy them too!
Here is a lame (but funny!) joke for YES fans that my Dad made up:
Why did Steve Howe cross the road?
To get close to the edge!
And I just had to add another joke to that:
Why did Rick Wakeman cross the road?
To get CURRY!
What would Jon Anderson say if he was sitting next to U2?
I am sitting close to THE EDGE
(Thanks for that one Matzemensch!)
Okay enough of my lame jokes...How about some real jokes?
15 Ways to be Annoying
1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money.
2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.
3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you're a ''spider person.''
4) When attending a movie you've already seen, yell out: ''Don't let him in! He's the killer!''
5. When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it.
6) When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: ''I hope I fixed it this time.''
7) Beep when a large person backs up.
8) Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the ''little men.''
9) Insist on making inanimate objects ''dance''
10) Occasionally talk into your hand in public.
11) Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it's full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds.
12) When stopped at a traffic light during rush hour, claw desperately at the roof of the car.
13) Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster.
14) While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.
15) Insist that life is ''one big musical,'' then try to prove your theory by randomly breaking out into song in public.
13 Annoying Things to do in a Restaurant
1) In a fancy restaurant insist the waiter tells you the names of all the fish in the fish tank.
2) Ask for a bib.
3) At a fast-food restaurant ask for the Soup-du-Jour.
4) Invoke 'the customer is always right' rule.
5) Bring your own menu.
6) Stare at a neighbor's food until they say something and then reply, "oh don't mind me, I'm just looking for my contact".
7) Insist that your chair is missing a leg.
8) Take all of the pepermint candies.
9) See just how fast you can get the manager over to your table.
10) Burp the National Anthem, call anyone who objects unpatriotic.
11) Yell 'Oh no not now!' and make a dash to the bathroom.
12) Make obvious attemps to trip the waiters, snicker constantly.
13) Very properly, take out a hankerchief and spend the next 15 minutes blowing into it as hard as possible.
A Few Philosophical Statments
Always take the time to smell the roses... and sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.
If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other cheek... nothing gets the message across like a good mooning.
If genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, I must be sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
It's always darkest just before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors' newspaper, that's the time to do it.
It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown... and fewer still to ignore someone completely.
I believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
What do you call a midget clairvoyant on the run?
A small medium at large!