Leaves Of Grass Gone To Pot

Or: Mike Pisses His "Hipster Cred" All To Hell



A lot of people don't "get" me. Of course, I don't make it easy for people, not fitting into any easily-defined categories. I don't feel I should. I'm a bearded guy with long hair, but I don't consider myself a "hippie." In case you couldn't already tell, this is quickly going to turn into a "rant," and it's going to get more specific.

I am often offered pot, and I always refuse. Some people just say, "All right," and that's that. Others, for some reason, seem to be unable to let it go. One friend seem to think there was something wrong with my brain because I didn't enjoy the effects of marijuana. One thought I was crazy to enjoy the sort of music I do outside of a stoner haze. Some have even gone as far as to imply that because of the way I look, I must be a pothead. All of these points I'll touch on...

First of all, no, I do not enjoy pot. Hipster cred out the window to admit as much, I know, but I don't and that's that. What lots of people don't realize is that drugs affect everyone differently. What's joyful and relaxing for many is stressful and unpleasant for me. The sense of paranoia that accompanies a pot high is something I just can't deal with. I'm already in a heavy state of paranoia to begin with without a drug heightening that sensation. Besides, I'm already in such an altered state naturally, adding hallucinogenic substances on top of that, well...it's kind of like buttering fried chicken. There are times I wish I could feel what all those people who enjoy pot are feeling, but I can't, and I've come to terms with that. Too bad I can't say the same for others.

And no, I don't think hallucinogens are necessary to enjoy certain types of music, film or art. For me, good art transcends one's state of mind. I mean, I know what music sounds like that requires hallucinogens to enjoy, and it sucks! But Pink Floyd, for example, transcends the psychotropic substances that inspired the music. In fact, there's a lot of things I don't enjoy that I'm convinced require drugs to enjoy, for example: Black Sabbath, the Firesign Theater and the films of David Lynch. And with that sentence, any last remaining vestiges of my "hipness cred" is quashed like a bug beneath a stomping jackboot.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those anti-drug crusaders. Within reason, I think what anyone else does is their own damn business. If you enjoy pot and choose to do it, more power to you. It's just not for me. What really makes me bristle, though, is when people imply that drugs are required for creativity. When showing people some things I've written, I sometimes get the response, "Whoa! What were you on when you came up with that?" I know, it's merely thoughtless and I should probably just write it off. Still, there's a prevailing thought that if certain artists-say, the Beatles—didn't take drugs, their music wouldn't be as good. But I maintain that the Beatles were good because they were talented, not because they were flying high on appalling amounts of mind-altering chemicals. Oh sure, we'd be without the stream-of-consciousness doggerel lyrics, but minus the drugs, I guarantee you that the Beatles' music would still be just as special. And drugs aren't a magic ticket towards creativity. Trust me, in my search of the Ultimate Obscure Prog-Rock album, I've heard my share of unlistenably bad albums by no-talents who were flying even higher than the Beatles at their most out there. Not merely bad, unlistenably bad. I think it very important to stress that point. And the fact that they were obviously really high made the experience no less painful. So I know whereof I speak.

As for equating how I look with what substances I choose to ingest, I chalk it up to people trying to ... their preconceived notions inspired by popular stereotypes. Many of the same people just assume I'm a "Deadhead." It's happened enough times that I now have a stock rude response: "I may have had a few sexual fantasies about f*cking Jerry Garcia up the ass, but that doesn't make me a Deadhead!" All right, I'm too polite to really say that to someone's face, but I've been sorely tempted some days. Some yahoos have deserved worse. Anyway, I'm not a "Deadhead" or "hippie" or any other label you want to affix to me. I'm just me. It all reminds me of Frank Zappa, who not only had to correct people who referred to him as "a hippie," but also had to correct those who sneered when he told them he didn't do drugs. And if someone can create such profoundly weird art without the influence of any drug stronger than caffeine, there may be hope for me yet...

Christopher Lee Dream Update: No more Christopher Lee dreams, though later on in January I did have a dream about Ben Affleck. Mercifully, this did not turn out to be a sex dream. I don't think I could handle that. The vague surrealism of Christopher Lee sex dreams I can deal with, the bland normality of a Ben Affleck sex dream I can't.

More recently, I dreamed of two characters from a book I'm currently (re-)reading: "The Worm Ouroboros" by E. R. Eddison. In my dream, King Gorice and Lord Gro are in a wacky sitcom where they share a house with a brother and sister, a dutiful sister named Val and her unemployed brother named [gulp!] Mike. And if that weren't bad enough, "Mike's" voice sounds exactly like Billy West's as Fry from "Futurama" (whereas Val's sounds exactly like Katey Sagal's Leela voice). I don't even want to think of the implications of this, so expect reports of lots more similar dreams in the near future.

Saruman Jr.!

Click on Christopher Lee to return...

©2003 by Progbear




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