Wolf Devil Woman
Directed by: Chang Ling
Starring: Chang Ling
While I had a hell of a time thinking of
which should be my first album review, there was absolutely no question
in my mind of which should be the first film I ought to review. I immediately
thought of one film that was so goofy, so weird and so delightful that it
deserves more attention. Plus, it hasn't already been reviewed on every
other site out there. I'm talkin' 'bout "Wolf Devil Woman."
Perhaps I should explain. "Wolf Devil Woman" belongs to that large
and diverse group of films known generally in the States as "kung fu
flicks." This is a rather general term for any action film made in China,
and covers police/crime dramas, comedies, science fiction, supernatural
horror movies, and costumed "historical" period pieces/fantasies, often
also featuring supernatural themes. It's that last group that gets my
attention most of all, probably as it inspired some of the most crazed
films in cinema history, such as "Magic of Spell," "The Miracle Fighters"
and...the very subject of this here review.
"Wolf Devil Woman" stands out for another reason. Namely, it is one
of the few Asian action films directed and written by a woman. Not only
that, but the film was directed and written by the star of the film, a
certain Chang Ling (billed in English-speaking countries as Pearl Cheung).
Of the several films I've seen Ms. Chang in, pretty much all of them (the
only other ones I've seen are "Fantasy Mission Force" and two more directed
by her, "Matching Escort" and "Miraculous Flower") have been completely,
or at least partially, insane.
"Wolf Devil Woman" itself was (nominally, anyway) based on a popular
Chinese novel, "Jiang-Hu: Between Love and Glory," the same source material
as Ronny Yu's beloved "The Bride With White Hair." That film was quite
a bit more high-toned than this one. With "Wolf Devil Woman," you sort
of have to take the term "based on" with a grain of salt. Sort of like
how Bert I. Gordon's "Village of the Giants" was based on H. G. Wells' "Food
Of The Gods." Got that? OK, at least we know where we stand.
The film wastes zero time getting underway. Over a title card, we
see thunder, lightning and cloud effects. Over the opening credits, we
see a freaky dungeon full of gold statues and spouts bursting with flame.
A bare-chested man is carried in on a cross. We see a fast-motion collage
of a bunch of faces, a Fellini-esque rogues-gallery of a band of freaks,
and sticking out like a sore thumb, an obviously married couple with a baby
looking on with disapproval. Anyway, the lead freak—a guy in long robes,
a cape, a long pointed cap with a skull and crossbones on it and a translucent
veil of sparkly lamé—brandishes a little clay doll. We know it's bad
business because the shirtless guy gapes his mouth and bugs his eyes in
horror. Lead Freak Guy, whom we later learn is the Blue Devil, impales the
doll with an icepick. Crucified Victim winces in pain as a badly matted-in
gout of animated blood bursts from his thorax. Blue Devil then sticks the
voodoo doll in a bucket of dry ice (yes, I know it's supposed to be some
sort of "chemical"), while our victim displays...well, either intense pain
or intense orgasm. It's hard to tell from his performance. The former seems
to be the case, as we hear synthesizer/Echoplex effects and there are warpy/funhouse-mirror
effects as the camera shows a close-up of him spitting up raspberry preserves
(yes, I know it's supposed to be "blood," probably mixed with vomit and
internal organs). Intercut shots of the married couple looking on in horror,
the baby crying, more thunder and lightning and Blue Devil manipulating the
doll follow, climaxing when he drops and breaks it. Then he strikes a triumphant,
"Black Moses Of Soul" pose.
Cut to our married couple, stumbling through the snow as orchestral
music swells. Some of Blue Devil's army, commandeered by a guy called Master
Red (a man in a ridiculous wig and rubber Dracula mask) chase and threaten
them. "Run? How far can you run?" taunts Master Red in a thick, Southern
drawl. Most of the villains, it seems, speak in Southern accents in the
dubbed version. Why? Got me. It's just one of many weird things about this
film that goes unanswered.
Anyway, Mom (director/screenwriter/star Chang Ling herself) and Pop
fight some red-cloaked ninjas, argue with Master Red some more, run some
more, then finally decide on their "last resort." This consists of, get
this, stabbing themselves to death, bleeding all over the baby, then smashing
their heads against an ice cliff, causing an avalanche. Over this, we
hear Mom's voice-over, intoning, "Baby, we hope our blood will keep you
warm and preserve you. We've done our best. The rest is up to your good
luck."
All this happens in the first five minutes of the film. And if you're
worried that the film can't keep up this frenzied pace for its entire length,
well, just read on...
Master Red leads a search party. They find the corpses of Mom and
Dad, but the baby is nowhere to be found. And soon they're besieged by
a pack of "wolves," which look suspiciously like a bunch of German Shepherds
with Christmas-tree flocking applied to their coats. The search party
runs for the hills, and the "wolves" proceed to feed on dead Mom and Dad.
After some rummaging, one of the "wolves" finds the blood-soaked "baby."
Or, more accurately, it finds a ratty yellow blanket splotched with red
Karo™ syrup with some padding inside to make it look like there's a baby
in it.
The "wolf" carries the baby back to an ice cavern. This is a pretty
impressive set, sort of like Superman's arctic hideaway from the Christopher
Reeve "Superman" movies...that is, if it were designed by Sid and Marty
Krofft. Lots of fake icicles and crystals, trickling fountains and, yes,
green-tinted dry-ice fog are fixtures of this set. We'll see a lot more of
it in later scenes.
Flash-forward to several years in the future. We see the wolves teaching
the young girl to hunt bunny rabbits. The girl gnaws on raw meat and
pounces after the rabbits. She gets a mite too overenthusiastic and injures
herself. We then see "Wolf Mama" caring for her back at the cave, dumping
some old leaves into her mouth. Wolf Girl gags on the leaves but eventually
manages to swallow them. She freaks out and her hair turns white for a
bit, then she returns to normal, uninjured and miraculously cleaned-up.
Flash-forward some more. The now-adult Wolf Woman (Chang Ling again)
is now an expert bunny-killer, doing acrobatic leaps, digging holes and
grabbing and killing them from underneath (we see blood spurting out of
the hole, in case we didn't get the point). Then, apparently to rub salt
in the wound, we see Wolf Woman ripping the bunny in two with her bare
hands, blood and entrails dripping on the ground! And if this weren't crazed
enough, she's now wearing a sort of fur hood with an articulated "wolf
head" on top! Um...did "Wolf Mama" make this for her? Did Wolf Woman make
it herself? And if so, did the "wolves" teach her to make it? Did she use
"wolf" fur? Bunny fur? My head hurts...
From this tranquil scene, we're whisked to a far-off land where Blue
Devil's treachery holds sway. The Good Guys are having a hell of a time
holding off Blue Devil and his minions, which include a witch in a white
gown trailing explosive clouds of coloured smoke, innumerable red-cloaked
ninjas and Blue Devil himself, who has the power to freeze his opponents.
This is a very short scene, but mere words cannot do justice to make one
understand how completely and totally weird it is. It just comes and goes
like a bolt of lightning, leaving you stunned, thinking, "What the hell
just happened?" A lot of the movie is like that.
Back at the Wolf Woman's mountain, the space is invaded by two interlopers:
Young Master Rudolph and Rudy (well, that's how they're named in the
dubbed version, anyway. Why the confusingly similar names? Another imponderable
decision by the dubbers, I fear). Young Master Rudolph (hereafter YMR)
is your typical blank hero, period Chinese costume epic variety. Rudy is
your typical obnoxious comic relief, whose main job is to grouse and whine
annoyingly at any and every decision YMR makes. I really hope I get across
just how irritating Rudy is. Believe me, mere seconds after his first appearance,
you'll be longing for Rudy to drop down a bottomless pit, never to be seen
or heard from again. Too bad the only pit he drops down into is only too
finite in depth, not even deep enough to cause lasting injuries.
So, we have Rudy whining about hunger...that is until he sees a bunny
and gets his own ideas on how to cure it. Unfortunately, before he can
knife it to death, YMR spears it neatly through the throat with his arrow.
Yes, we actually see the unfortunate Peter Cottontail with a real
arrow transpiercing his throat, as YMR holds it aloft and he goes into death
throes. I get the distinct feeling that this film doesn't get the PETA
seal of approval.
Next we're treated to the sight of Rudy roasting Peter Cottontail
over an open fire as YMR serenades him on his recorder. Wolf Woman sneaks
up behind Rudy and grabs his shoulder. Rudy swivels around and stabs her
in the shoulder with an arrow. YMR comes to Wolf Woman's aid, and asks Rudy
to fetch his medicine. But lo! who should come along but the "wolves"? In
the chaos, YMR kills, then loses the now-dead Wolf Mama, as well as Wolf
Woman. It turns out Wolf Woman has dragged Wolf Mama's corpse back to the
cave, where she laments her "mother's" death...by howling! Well, what else
should a wolf woman do, I ask you?
Having followed Wolf Woman's spoor, YMR and Rudy discover the ailing
Wolf Woman lying in the cave. YMR uses his medicine to heal her. And
how does she show her gratitude? By trying to gnaw off his hand, of course!
Well, you certainly can't accuse Ms. Chang of not throwing herself into
her role. But what's more amazing is how cool, calm and collected YMR remains
even while Wolf Woman digs her fangs into his palm. The only way this scene
could have been any more satisfying is if instead Wolf Woman had chosen
to bite Rudy's head off. No such luck.
From here, it's off to Expositionland, where various aldermen, city-councillors
and whatnot grouse about Blue Devil's threats. We learn from Old Master
(that's how he's referred and ONLY how he's referred in the dubbed version)
that he sent his son (YMR) and his "wacky" sidekick halfway up a mountain
in search of "Thousand Year Old Ginseng," the only known antidote against
Blue Devil's freezing spell. Meanwhile, back on the mountain, the wolf
pack starts threatening YMR and Rudy, who panic until Wolf Woman calls
them off using an odd bone whistle. Wolf Woman is now wearing what looks
like a fur coat made of a snow leopard's hide. Again, PETA has a hissy
fit.
Back at the ice cavern, Wolf Woman stomps around like a Neanderthal
maiden, while the cultured YMR rolls his eyes in disgust. He decides then
and there that she should walk upright like a proper lady. Thus begins
what must be the most bizarre scene in the entire film, and that's saying
a lot. YMR grabs Wolf Woman as if preparing to give her the Heimlich as she
bugs her eyes and makes a sound like a cat with its tail caught in a bear-trap.
In the background, we hear bleepy synthesizer sounds, and shots of an incomplete
Ankylosaur model skeleton being twisted around (yes, I realize it's supposed
to be her "spine." It doesn't make it any less strange) are intercut. Again,
she thanks YMR by biting his hand. Rudy whines, "Oh, Wolf Woman, why are
you biting people again?"
Now that she's able to walk upright like a proper Homo Sapiens, YMR
(apparently fancying himself as a Chinese Professor Higgins) decides that
Wolf Woman ought to walk and talk and act like a lay-day. No Marni Nixon-dubbed
musical numbers follow, but we do get a "comic" scene of Wolf Woman learning
to speak, and a "naming ceremony" where YMR proclaims her new name to be
Hibiscus (It's all beside the point, for the rest of the film everyone
continues to refer to her as Wolf Woman, thus so shall I).
Now able to communicate verbally, YMR (who's obviously taken a shine
to Wolf Woman) tells him of his mission to find the Thousand Year Old
Ginseng. Remembering the thing Wolf Mama fed to her all those years ago,
Wolf Woman confesses to eating it. Naturally, Rudy whines, then blurts
out that it was YMR who killed Wolf Mama. Wolf Woman shouts, "It's not
true! IT'S NOT TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Proving that it's all too true
YMR chips through a sheet of ice (which acts as a sort of fisheye lens...a
chilling, no pun intended, effect) to Wolf Mama's tomb. Wolf Woman whips
around maniacally and her hair turns white with, I guess, grief. YMR and
Rudy slink back empty-handed.
Back on the home front, YMR and Rudy are greeted by their martial-arts
trainer, Sinzi the Elder...clearly played by a much younger man with
a pasted-on white beard and eyebrows. Apparently, he's psychic too, as
he already knows about Wolf Woman and about their failure to get the Thousand
Year Old Ginseng. He also gives a gift to YMR, which turns out to be an
ornate mirror studded with pearls (later on, some dialogue reveals this
to be a "jade amulet." OK, I'm willing to suspend my disbelief that far,
as jade amulets aren't exactly falling out of trees these days, especially
if you're clearly making a film on a shoestring budget). I'll save the (ahem!)
implications of an old man giving a handsome young man an expensive gift.
They then meet up with Old Master, deciding how best to deal with Blue Devil.
Old Master decides a sneak attack would be best. So off they go to get clobbered
by the flying white witch and innumerable red ninjas. Needless to say, YMR
gets captured.
We return to Blue Devil's lair, well-lit this time, in another psychedelic
swirl of Moog bloops, dry-ice fog and funhouse-mirror lens effects. We
are also treated to Blue Devil's voice for the first time. His drawl is
so thick it could support pearls. Frankly, he sounds like he'd be more
comfortable in a Stetson hat and a scruffy beard. Enough about me...White
Witch (well, I don't know what her name is properly, but that's what I'll
call her 'cause that's what she is). crows to Blue Devil about her capture,
"Look what we have here...the only heir to the Yung family! What a treat!"
She's referring to YMR, of course, who is displayed on a bright red crucifix.
Blue Devil learns that YMR failed to collect the magical Ginseng, so he
sprays blue fog from his long, gold Mandarin nails at him. I guess this is
the "freezing spell" everyone keeps talking about it...and I guess the way
the camera pointedly shows a close-up of the mirror...er, I mean "amulet"
the Elder gave to YMR (now attached to his hair), it's supposed to protect
him from the spell.
Cut back to Wolf Woman, having a nightmare about YMR. We zoom in
on her eyeball, and intercut with tender memories of the many times she
tried to chew off his hand. Off she goes to save him. We then return to
Rudy being lazy and the Elder chiding him. Rudy, for some reason, is now
wearing goofy pigtails (Just when you thought he couldn't be any more repellent,
they have to do his hair up in pigtails! Pigtails, for crap's sake!).
The Elder fills him in, the Wolf Woman is destined to save YMR, and she's
on her way.
From here it's off to a montage of Wolf Woman's travels. Wolf Woman
swinging through trees on ropes (hmmm...did she meet up with some monkeys
on the way?) The requisite shot of Wolf Woman drinking water from a scenic
waterfall (My impression from movies like this, China is a beautiful country
with waterfalls round every corner). Wolf Woman picking cherry blossoms.
And so on. Meanwhile, Blue Devil has dolled up YMR in a ridiculous red scarf.
He's showing him his collection of victims he paralyzed with his special
Golden Needle, whom he keeps in a sort of Hall Of Statues that no Evil Villain's
Lair seems to be complete without. One might ask (and YMR does) why he keeps
the statues instead of just killing them. In that Hank Williams Jr. voice
of his, Blue Devil explains that it's just an "eccentric hobby," and that
he eventually does kill them off one by one. Then he laughs, "Haw, haw,
haw!" I kid you not!
Wolf Woman subsequently sneaks into a chicken coop, steals a chicken,
rips it in half and eats it raw! I guess the wolves never told her about
salmonella! The farmers are less than pleased to discover her poaching,
so they get into a big fight. Wolf Woman wins of course, this is her movie
after all. Then back at Casa de Yung, we learn that YMR has now joined forces
with Blue Devil. There's a big bloody swordfight, then Blue Devil comes
and cleans house.
Wolf Woman, in the meantime, seems to be perpetually hungry. She
enters a restaurant where patrons with haughty English accents are appalled
by her appalling table manners (Here, at least, is a dubbing decision that
makes some kind of sense, stereotyped and clichéd though it may be).
Here's where Chang Ling the actress comes into her own, pigging out and chugging
an entire liter of wine with such gusto, one can't help but be charmed,
even if (or maybe because) the performance is way over the top! Naturally,
the now-drunken Wolf Woman can't pay for this meal. The restaurateurs and
patrons, however, are rather more worried about her freaking out, her hair
turning white and bits of her scalp falling out! (I guess the toxicity of
the alcohol caused it) They try to restrain her, but aren't terribly successful
until she passes out from exhaustion and drunkenness. They drag her out
of the restaurant, tied up, beating her with sticks and shouting, "Kill
the beast! Kill the beast!" They dunk her repeatedly down a well (like the
"back-straightening" scene, filmed in patented Chang Ling X-Ray-O-Scope™)
until, by pure happenstance, Rudy comes by and sees her. In his attempt
to save Wolf Woman, a townsman clubs him with a stick and he goes in with
her. Nice going, Rudy!
Now, in an ordinary film, they would have drowned and that would
be the end of it. I think I've made it quite clear that this is no ordinary
film. We cut from the well to some running water. Sitting by the shore
of the stream is none other than the Elder himself. He retrieves Rudy and
Wolf Woman from the pool (apparently with fishing line!) and waves smelling
salts under their noses. The Elder offers more exposition, telling how Devil
was responsible for her real parents' death. She's suitably angered by this
news, and (here it comes!) seeks revenge!
It's off to Wolf Woman galloping forth on a horse in a fabulous new
white and blue ensemble with a headdress. She swings these nasty-looking
grappling hook/claw type of weapons with which she does a mean job of decapitating
her enemies. Needless to say, there are lots of cool scenes in between
here and her final showdown with the Devil, all of them very cool and all
of them with the freaky quality of a fever dream. I won't give away anything
from the showdown, but suffice to say, it gets crazed in ways you won't
believe. I must say, that Wolf Woman sure knows of creative ways to put
out a fire, and a badly matted-in animated fire at that!
It goes without saying that "Wolf Devil Woman" is low-budget. That's
part of the charm. Chang Ling used her limitations as a director to come
up with creative solutions to problems. These wound up looking very bizarre
in the end (I point you directly to the animated spurt of blood and,
yet again, the "back-straightening" scene), which is why I love it all
the more. As an actress, Ms. Chang isn't exactly subtle, but you can tell
from her performance that she genuinely is having fun, and sometimes
that's more important. All in all, "Wolf Devil Woman" is some of the most
totally bonkers fun you can have with your clothes on. Please, oh please,
someone release this on DVD!
Second opinions: Teleport
City, Cinema
of Pain, VCD of
the Week
IMDB entry for Wolf Devil Woman
Where to buy: Doesn't seem to be available, sadly. Good luck!
Go back!
©2003 by Progbear