Flash-forward
to the
shooting of the last scene, the scene with the crazed fan on the
staircase.
Apparently, Elsa’s having trouble with the scene, as they’ve done over
thirty
takes and still haven’t got anything usable. In a fit of anger, Zarkon
storms
up the stairs and jabs the prop knife into his own stomach and Elsa’s.
“Look,
does that hurt me? Does that hurt you?” He takes her back down stairs
and calls
a five minute break. He goes on to lecture her in a plush dressing
room. She admits
that she doesn’t know why she’s having trouble with the scene.
Suddenly,
Zarkon is struck
with a vision. The scene must be different. He unveils his new idea of
the
ending, a trapeze scene in a circus picture. Naturally, they think it’s
vulgar
and idiotic and won’t go with it. Zarkon tells them that he destroyed
the
negative of the original ending. Which leaves them a bit stuck.
This is
followed by, oh
God no, another love scene! Like every other scene in the film
inevitably must,
it becomes a big argument, with Elsa hoping to settle down and have a
family.
But for Zarkon she’s just another attractive starlet he can sleep with.
As he
storms out, we get more reams of Lylah laughter from Elsa.
The next day,
Elsa, in
full-on Lylah mode, takes Paolo for a ride down the PCH. Then later on,
at the
studio, she phones Zarkon (announcing herself as Lylah) telling him
she’s ready
to begin working again. Meanwhile, Paolo undoes her dress and showers
her with
kisses. As Zarkon arrives, everyone voices their concern about Elsa.
They don’t
think she’s fit to work.
He bursts into
Elsa’s
dressing room. At length he manages to get a post-coital Paolo to
leave. Here,
Zarkon and “Lylah” carry on as though she never died. Apparently, the
big event
that caused the rift between the two had something to do with a baby
Zarkon
wanted her to abort. This scene is splendid in its appalling dubbing.
Aldrich
made the supreme mistake of one too many close-ups of Novak’s face.
Never more
was the Exorcist (or perhaps even Beyond The Door)
parallel more
obvious. “Lylah” claims not to need Zarkon. “You’re wrong!” growls
Zarkon,
squishing her face, “Without a director, you’re just a vulgar little
exhibitionist!”
“Lylah” rather
proves her
point with her next speech: “Now you get your ass out there…and tell
‘em
Lylah’s comin’! Soon as she gets her harness on! And when she whistles
they
squat! All of them! EVERY DAMN LAST ONE! You too Barney! Here me,
Barney? Squat
and wait! Just wait for Lylah! Ha ha ha ha ha!”
Much time,
apparently,
passes before Elsa deigns to make her appearance. Rosella begs her not
to do
the scene, but she tells her not to worry, that she’s only going to
finally put
Zarkon in his place. At last, Rosella warns her not to look down. “No
one stops
until I say cut!” demands Elsa/Lylah once she’s at the top. She does a
perfect
trapeze act, then a second one to gales of applause. Zarkon calls out
to her,
first as Elsa, then as Lylah. “Your audience is down here,” he calls,
“Look
down. Well? Look down! Look down here!”
This sets off,
you guessed
it, another cheesy tinted flashback! “Look down!” bellows the
disturbingly
slowed-down voice of the retro-Zarkon, “Look at your friend! You
thought you
could humiliate me, didn’t you? But your dirty little plan went wrong!
Now
she’s dead! Look down, there’s no need to be afraid! There’s
nothing to
be sorry about! That’s blood! See that? That’s BLOOD!”
Back at the
studio, Zarkon
is still shouting up at Elsa, who at last looks down and takes the
plunge. This
is edited together with a shot of Lylah falling off the staircase…as if
we really
wouldn’t get the connection. She lands on the net, bounces off, then
hits the
ground, breaking her neck.
Rather than
call the
ambulances, Zarkon has the cameras zoom in. He then shoves in the actor
playing
himself to stiffly read a line, then shouts at the actors playing
clowns to
cry. Elsa delivers her last line before closing her eyes forever.
Cut to the
fabulous
Hollywood premiere of the Lylah picture, with a vile reporter
interviewing
folks coming out of the picture.
OK, we’ve been
asked to
buy a whole lot of specious stuff before this, but this really takes
the cake.
Are we really supposed to believe there’s a gala Hollywood
prémiere…for
a SNUFF FILM? As near as I can guess, they covered up the sordid
details of
Elsa’s death just as they covered up Lylah’s but…ah, hell! Who am I
kidding?
This is bad, just plain BAD!
Anyway, there
are
interviews of everyone looking brooding and sorrowful, intercut with
shots of
Rosella at home, watching it all on TV while loading a gun. What she
does with it, commits suicide, uses it
to kill
Zarkon or (my personal favourite choice) shoots the TV itself, is left
up to
our own sick and twisted imagination. Though in retrospect, the second
choice seems the right one (considering her dialogue was rather
foreshadowing towards it. Not showing her actually murdering
Zarkon was one of
the few things the
film did right. Few Hollywood directors of today would have been able
to resist it. Frankly, I'm surprised Aldrich was able to.)
After the
revolting
reporter finishes his interview with Zarkon, he introduces a commercial
for
Barkwell’s Dog Food. Cut to a typical suburban kitchen where a typical
suburban
housewife (sporting a huge B-52) is opening a can of dog food with an
electric
can opener. She empties it into a dog dish, as a poodle runs in and
starts to
eat it. Enter another dog. And another. Soon, the kitchen is swarming
with
barking dogs, and the housewife starts to nervously back away. Finally,
the
voice of the female announcer is drowned out by the sounds of the pack
of
angry, barking dogs. Roll closing credits over a still-frame of a
particularly fierce-looking bowser.
Say what you
will about
the rest of the film, the ending is not only apt, but also one of the
greatest
endings to any film, ever. No, I'm not joking. And it’s just so
totally
Robert Aldrich. That one scene speaks volumes about the whole film,
probably even about Aldrich
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