Like a Criminal
Disclaimer: Not mine. The character assasination belongs to Shonda. I'm just attempting to redeem a character that I once believed to be my favorite.
Song Excerpt: < a href="http://fiona-apple.com/">Fiona Apple, Criminal
Rating: Hard R, for sexual and adult themes, underage drinking, drug use, controversial topics, and possible gore.
Word Count: 1125
Summary: Post "My Favorite Mistake" (319). Izzie Stevens has secrets, and she prefers to keep them that way. But after numerous mistakes in judgment, she feels the need to reclaim the things she's lost. Izzie/OC.
What I need is a good defense
‘Cause I’m feelin’ like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I’ve sinned against
‘Cause he’s all I ever knew of love
Izzie stared at the note, fixated on the crappy handwriting and all the meaning it held to her. No one would have given the piece of scrap with the scrawled marks a second glance, but yet she couldn’t remove her eyes from it. Building up her courage, she threw it back into her nightstand drawer and grabbed her mobile. Like a sixth sense, she tapped the keys ‘til she found the familiar combination of numbers on the screen and hit send.
She hadn’t spoken to him in ages and as she heard some nondescript heavy metal song play in the background, she found herself nostalgic to hear his voice. Eventually he picked up and voiced groggily, “You do realize the time, right?”
“Yeah,” she practically whispered, tears flooding her vision. “I’m sorry to wake you, but I really just, you know, need a shoulder to cry on. Figuratively, of course,” and though he couldn’t see it, she knew that he’d know that there was a broken smile on her face.
She heard a rustling in the background, most likely him sitting up in bed, and a round of coughing later he said, “’Scuse me. Sorry. There’s no way I’d come over there to give you a shoulder. You’d have to come over here, ‘cause there’s no way I’m waking up Sophie. And don’t worry about waking me. If I wanted to be an ass, I wouldn’t have answered. But I saw your number.”
She scoffed and responded, “Well, that’s nice of you. ‘Specially since I haven’t exactly been kind about contacting you. It’s been – what? – just about a year since we’ve spoken?”
“Since a couple weeks into your residency.”
Izzie nodded, not exactly sure how to continue or start what she wanted to vent to him. Deciding on a more neutral topic, she asked, “How’s Sophie? Did you give her my gift? I felt so awful when I couldn’t be there for her first birthday.” Sniffling, she added, “I actually had to take five minutes to myself that day, and cried in the locker room when no one was there. Everyone kept asking if I had allergies.”
He laughed into the receiver. “Well, it’s not like you could’ve helped it. You’ve picked a very ambitious and competitive career. You need all the hours and training you can get. Believe me, you won’t find anyone who’d be more understanding than I, other than other doctors. And yes, I did. She loved it. It was perfect.
“I took her to the park today, and she gave me a run for my money. The jungle gym has become her new favorite place ‘cause she loves to climb and has no fear of heights from what I can tell.” Izzie laughed at this. “I helped her to the top of the slide, and she slides down by herself nowadays. Then she’ll get to her feet, have me help her to the top of the slide again, and repeat this several times before she gets sick of it. Then she’ll want to go on the swing for a bit, then we’ll play with her ball, running around in the grass, and she’ll be all tuckered out at the end. Though, by then I need a nap myself.”
“No doubts about that. Best workout you can get.”
“Oh jeez, no kidding! Anyway, enough gushing father, what’s up? Something bad happen?”
Izzie sighed, rubbing the temple opposite the phone she held. “This entire year has been a nightmare. My most recent actions . . . not the most abominable, but close to it. Seriously, you have no idea how much crap I have done, incited, and put up with this year.”
“Well, maybe if you called to let me know how you are or to inquire about Sophie I would have an idea,” he replied bitterly.
A chill went through her at the vehemence in his voice, but she deserved it. Actually, she felt she deserved a whole lot worse than bitter anger from him, but supposed that karma would one day kick her damn ass for her foolishness in the last year, or more to the point, he would.
“So what’s so bad?” he questioned, not realizing at all what he was about to get himself into.
“Uh, first you need to remind me how much you actually know since the last time we spoke. ‘Cause I really don’t remember how much I’ve told you, or rather, how much you’ve inferred.”
“A sly one, you are. Uh, let’s see: names. The names Meredith and George ring a bell. You said I’d probably get along well, to an extent, with the latter. Er, some ambitious chick. I believe you called her Cristina.”
“Most vividly, who do you recall me talking about? Give me a time reference. You’re not helping much by renaming all those I know.”
“It’s helping me, all right?” he replied heatedly but calmly continued. “Alex. Most vividly, he’s at the forefront. Uh, he was the ass that plastered your modeling photos in the locker room. I believe that was the last time you called me. I had wanted to come to the hospital and give him a piece of my mind, but you said you had handled it, but you wouldn’t tell me how exactly.”
“Ah, yeah, okay. That’s better. Then I have a lot to fill you in on. Unfortunately, some things are better left said in person. And also, unfortunately, there’s a lot I have to say that you’re not going to like.”
“I had already figured that. Though, before you fill me in . . . have you told your roommates anything about your previous living arrangement? Or me and the fact that we have a toddler?”
Closing her eyes, she answered honestly, “No. You, our relationship, or lack there of, and Sophie has not been, uh, coerced out of me. No one’s asked. I know you’re not happy with that answer, but I’d rather not have the entire hospital knowing my private business.
“Seattle Grace is like Sunnydale. A Hell Mouth, but instead of vampires that surface its gossip. I should know. I help spread a lot of it. But I have enough judgments to overcome. I don’t need the nurses discussing nor evaluating my skills as a parent. So no, no one knows.”
When he didn’t answer right away, she questioned, “Andy?”
“You know, I think I’d rather discuss this in person. What time you off tomorrow?”
Sitting up from where she laid on her bare mattress, she said, “You know what, never mind,” revoking her previous sentiments of telling him over the phone. “I’ll be there in fifteen.”