I had waited my entire life for this Christmas season. I’d dreamed of it, even. It is my reason for being. This should have been the best time of my life. Now, it was simply dreadful.

It is very cold outside. Normally, the cold doesn’t bother me very much. Truthfully, I can say that it has bothered me less and less as I’ve grown. Maybe right now is different because I’m so dejected? Maybe because the bitter cold outside just reflects how I feel inside?

How sad, that I feel this way at this time of the year. I have planned for this time for my entire life and I always knew that I would be happy and warm and beautiful. But I’m none of those things. I’m sad and cold and forgotten.

I know I’m in the back and don’t get seen by as many people. Not like those big guys in the front. Everybody sees them. In fact, I’ve watched as the days have gone by and my view of the parking lot has gotten better and better. Sometimes, dozens of the big guys would get taken home in one day.

I wanted to be big, you know. I really tried. But I didn’t get as much sun as my brothers and sisters. I tried to stretch my roots down into Mother Earth and take my fair share of all the nutrients… but other roots always seemed to be just a tiny bit longer than me each and every time I made an effort. Trust me when I say I made the effort a lot.

I didn’t give up, though. Every year, I got a little bigger and a little stronger. Sure, I didn’t have as many branches as everyone else around me. Sometimes, that made me a little sad. But I was just as green! All my brothers and sisters would tell me I was just fine the way I looked.

But each year, they all grew more than me. Before long, we had trouble talking. They still wanted to talk to me. They just couldn’t hear me as easily as in the early days, when we’d all just been planted and were young and excited and of similar height.

We all knew we were Christmas Trees. Each and every one of us. And I was proud! I was proud to be selected as one of the most special trees! After all, how many trees get to go into houses and experience life in a new and different way? To be a part of something that the people seem to think is so special? We’re all connected through Mother Earth, you know. A chance to see something most trees could only hear about? To not only be a part of it, but to be the centerpiece? Sign me up!

The men had come and told us that, finally, this was our year! We all laughed and rejoiced in the cool wind. I may have been smaller but my voice was just as loud as my groundmates!

I got to watch them cut some of my siblings down first. I won’t lie; suddenly, I was really scared. I didn’t know if I could go through with this. At that moment, I doubted my very purpose for being. Then it was my turn.

It did hurt a little. But the men took really good care of me and it went quick. Once they finished the cut, the pain went away. They wrapped me up and laid me with my brothers and sisters. The men commented on how little I was… but one of them said I’d be perfect for someone. That made me feel even more special. That me, a little Christmas tree, would be perfect.

The ride to where we’d be displayed was long. But I was finally together with everyone again and we talked and talked. We marveled at the world we were seeing as our truck continued on the journey. Most trees only had the same view. Sure, it was beautiful and the view was sure to change over time. But how many saw the things we saw? All the different places? All the different sights? Not many, thank you very much.

We arrived at our Christmas Tree Lot and they propped us all up. The man that paid for us said I was sorry-looking. For a moment, I thought he wouldn’t take me so I did everything I could to fluff my needles up. I was very green and very pretty. I knew I could make this man see that I had lots to offer even if I was less than four feet tall.

I got put in the back because I was small. But he kept me, all the same. I just knew that my special someone would come and find me, even in the very back. I shook with excitement at the very thought.

The weeks have now passed. There are only a few of us left. They actually had to get another delivery of trees near the beginning, because so many people had come and bought my groundmates. Lots of people walked by me. Nobody really saw me, though.

Just a few hours ago, I overheard the man say it was only two days before Christmas. All my branches wilted. My special reason for being was gone. The time of the year was basically over now. I wasn’t going to get to be anyone’s centerpiece.

The man walked by me just now. He stopped and looked down at me. "You are so sorry-looking," he puffed. Then he moved on, maybe saying other words of encouragement to the other odd trees left in his lot.

I straightened up. I stretched out all my branches. I may not get to go home and be special to someone but I refused to lose my Christmas Spirit now!

A few people entered the lot after that. I was surprised. I didn’t think anyone would be looking for their centerpiece so late. In fact, a few more people trickled in as I watched from the very back. One was a couple, young. They seemed very happy and chock-full of Christmas spirit as they walked in. Good for them!

Mother Earth was talking suddenly. Well, we call it talking, but it is so much more than any one concept of communication. For me, Mother Earth is everything and everything is of Mother Earth.

Still, this was different. She seemed more "awake" in my area suddenly. It almost felt as if her entire focus was on this tiny Christmas tree lot and that was simply impossible.

"Right here!"

I was startled. I had stopped paying attention to the people as I felt Mother Earth surge around me. I re-directed my attention and saw that the young man from the couple was now standing right in front of me.

"This is the one, Marah!" he called over his shoulder. I saw the young woman, positively alive with energy and happiness, change direction and start heading toward me, too.

"Hey, little guy," the young man said to me. Wait. He was actually talking to me! Most people never do that. I said hi back to him immediately. To do otherwise would have been very rude. I shook as best I could so he would know I was glad to meet him.

This man in front of me was very special. The more I regarded him, the more I realized that he was special in more and more ways. He was the reason Mother Earth was so awake. He talked to me. He was full of such energy that just being next to him filled me with happiness.

"Oh, Dustin," the pretty young woman said as she came to his side. "He’s so cute!"

I am? I am. I am very green, thank you for noticing.

"He’s the one for you, Marah," Dustin said to her. She must be his girlfriend; I can feel their attachment to each other. "I knew there was just the right tree waiting for you."

"You were right," Marah said. "I think he’s perfect."

If I could have, I would have jumped up and down. I sang my joy to the wind and to the earth.

Dustin smiled. "Marah, he thinks you’re special."

"Well, I think he’s special." She waved over to the man who didn’t think much of me. Once he started heading toward us, she looked back to me. "Thank you for finding him for me, Dustin." Her smile was almost as bright as the sun.

"C’mon, Marah," said Mother Earth’s chosen one. He spoke very carefully, like he was afraid of saying something wrong. "I mean, I had to make sure that your very first Christmas was just right. And this little guy has so much spirit, well, he’ll help to make it special."

I regarded Marah. This is your first Christmas, too? You are my special person! Somehow, I found the strength to sing even louder.

The man who owned me came over and spoke with my special Marah and Dustin. I’m sure he said the same thing about me to them that he had always said about me since the first day I’d met him. I couldn’t hear him this time, however. My song was loud and triumphant for all those who knew how to hear.

Dustin kept looking at me, his generous smile never leaving his face. I saw him pay the man money while he shook his head. I saw his lips tell the man that I was the tree they wanted.

The man who used to own me moved forward to pick me up, but Dustin waved him aside. "C’mon, little Tannenbaum," he told me and hoisted me up onto his shoulder.

Then we left the lot and headed to my special Marah’s room, where I would be the centerpiece of her first Christmas. The entire journey, she spoke of all the wonderful things she would put on me. Beautiful lights, colorful ornaments, silver bells and red and green devil ducks. I was no longer cold. I was just as warm as when the sun would touch some of my branches, except I felt it all over my entire self.

I had waited my entire life for this very Christmas. I’d dreamed of it, even. This was my reason for being. This day was the best time of my life. For I am now Tannenbaum.