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To an outsider, New Hampshire and Vermont are about as identical
as two states could possibly be. Yet, like the plot of so many
made-for-TV movies, these twins were separated at birth. New Hampshire
and Vermont really can't agree on anything, and relations between
the states have been so strained in the past that previous disagreements
have almost led to armed conflict.
Even the people seem different in each state. Ask a New Hampshirite about the typical Vermonter, and he'll conjure up visions of granola-eating, Volvo-driving ex-hippies with tie-dyed t-shirts, sandals, wool socks and a half-gallon of Ben & Jerry's. Or, he'll just think of cows.
Many of the writings that have added fuel to the fire have
been collected in author Lisa Shaw's book New Hampshire vs.
Vermont. In it are articles written by natives of each state
firing broadsides at the other. For example, New Hampshire's poet
laureate Donald Hall takes aim in his Reasons for Hating Vermont:
"In Vermont, deer are required to have shots. In Vermont
people keep flocks of spayed sheep to decorate their lawns. In
Vermont when inch-long trout are released into streams, a state
law requires that they be preboned and stuffed with wild rice
delicately flavored with garlic and thyme."
The roots of these squabbles goes back hundreds of years, when
New Hampshire owned Vermont. Mind you, this can never been absolutely
proven. I have several aquaintances from Vermont who take great
exception to the idea and shudder at the thought.
In the early 1700s the colony of New Hampshire was ruled by
Benning Wentworth, a much beloved but extremly chubby governor
who suffered from gout. Wentworth realized that, as governor,
he could not only charter new towns, but could reserve the best
land in those towns for himself. Needless to say, he started chartering
all the towns he could, and when New Hampshire was filled up he
jumped the river and chartered what was then known as the "New
Hampshire Grants."
Here he ran into a snag. The colony of New York believed that
it's eastern boundary was the Connecicut river, and that any New
Hampshire grant on the west bank of the river was New York Territory.
New York demanding that he stop; Wentworth responded by chartering
a town just a few miles away from Albany and calling it Bennington.
Wentworth had a case: the New York charter defined the eastern boundary of the state as the western edge of "ye Conecticutt." New York figured this meant the Connecticut River. New Hampshire contended that it meant the colony of Connecticut, pointing out that Massachusetts had successfully made the same case years before. New York pleaded its case before the King, who was unwilling to upset the powerful New York landowners and ruled in New York's favor. To appease Wentworth, the King gave New Hampshire control of the river, thinking that someday the mighty Connecticut would rival the Hudson river as a highway for trade and goods.
Judging by the number of huge port facilities located along
the Upper Valley, you can see why New Hampshire got the short
end of the stick.
After Vermont had declared independence from New York, then
became a state, problems were just beginning for New Hampshire.
Vermont persuaded many towns in western New Hampshire to secede
and join the Green Mountain State. The rationale was that towns
such as Hanover, Walpole,and Charlestown had more in common with
Rutland and Burlington than they did with Portsmouth and Exeter.
The New Hampshire legislature immediately condemned the move,
warned that it would send in troops to enforce its rule, and dispatched
a letter to George Washington asking him to keep Vermont in line.
Washington told the Vermont leaders, in very specific terms, exactly
what he thought of the whole thing, and coming as close as Washington
could to threatening bodily harm. A blushing Vermont apologized
and gave the towns back to an understandably ticked-off New Hampshire.
So why does New Hampshire continue to hate Vermont? For one
thing, New Hampshire's control of the Connecticut River sounded
good until 1934, when the Surpreme Court ruled that Vermont didn't
have to pay a red cent to maintain the bridges over the Connecticut.
Score one for Vermont.
But more importantly, New Hampshire resent's Vermont's "quintessential
New England" image. Put the label "Vermont" on
anything and it sells, because people think that it must be more
pure, organic, and old-fashioned. When people think of rural New
England, they lump everything together and call it Vermont. Them's
fightin' words for a New Hampshirite. I remember last year I
went to the Glenn Miller Orchestra concert at the Redfern Arts
Center. The singer said he loved the scenery around here and loved
every trip he took to New Hampshire. It reminded him of a song,
he said, and he started belting out Moonlight in Vermont.
I distinctly remember hearing quite a bit of discussion in the
audience, none of which I could get away with printing here.
New Hampshire resents Vermont's image. Vermont ski resorts
are better. Vermont Maple Syrup is better. Vermont dairy products
are better. Take two identical cheeses, jugs of maple syrup, or
anything else, slap the name Vermont on one of them, and I guarantee
you it will sell before the other does. Robert Frost, America's
greatest 20th century poet (it's my column, I can say what I want)
is a Vermonter to people in 49 states. New Hampshirites know the
truth.
New Hampshire and Vermont, on the surface identical, couldn't
be more different ideologically. Vermont is too politically correct
for New Hampshire. New Hampshire would never ban roadside billboards,
like Vermont did. New Hampshire would never elect a Socialist
to Congress like Vermont. Vermont is too regulatory: New Hampshire
has double the population than Vermont, but the Vermont government's
phone book listings are twice as long as New Hampshire's.
Finally, Vermont is phony. A fake. A fraud. Go up to Woodstock,
Vermont, to see what I mean. "The Quintessential New England
Village." Yet, the whole thing is made up of gas lights installed
for "effect," stores that add too many e's to their
name: "Ye Olde Countrie Shoppe" or "Ye Olde Sunocoe
Statione." The whole town is subsidized by the Rockefeller
family, to keep this "traditional village" away from
"progress."
As Judson Hale wrote, yes, Vermont is lovely. A lovely state
to visit. Quaint too.
-Peter Lambert is a Keene State junior majoring in history and a weekly columnist for The Equinox.
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