vocals, sax
one time mark, dan buescher, and ted wells were going to go on a mission to dan buescher's house, a journey of over a thousand miles, to pick up his drumset and drive back to indiana. however, mark insisted that since he was going to embark on a "road trip," he would have to be high the entire time. dan was not entirely enthusiastic about mark meeting his parents like that, so he devised a plan wherein he would tell his mom that mark was retarded, thus explaining his strange behavior. ted, getting wind of this plan, informed mark that mrs. buescher, dan's mom, although extremely nice, was functionally retarded. the meeting of mark and mrs. buescher, had it taken place, would quite possibly have been the greatest thing to ever happen.
the funny thing about this story is that mark really is retarded.
(back)