His name is Jesus.

Before I came to have a personal and intimate relationship with this dear friend of mine, I was seeking after worldly things..never finding true happiness. Seemed no matter what I did or who I was with, there still seemed to be a void in my life that nothing could fill. A empty place in my heart that no one had ever filled.

I lead a meaningless life.

Well that resulted in turning to alcohol and drugs to try and fill that void. I just knew I needed something, what it was, I just did not know.

I just thought by staying high all the time I could pass through the meaningless part of my life, that if I could feel this good all the time, why quit? It seemed to be doing the trick for me...or at least I thought it was. I was walking in darkness, and had no way to see the light.

Well, then this wonderful man came into my life, and oh so at the right time. His name is Van and he is now my husband, my best friend on this earth, my constant companion, my soulmate. You see God was placing my life together one piece at a time.

But let me go on...... See all this time I was seeking after all these worldly things and partaking of all the evil I could find, there was also another dear friend whom was right there with me all the time...trying to rescue me, trying to get me to open up my heart and let Him come in and pull me from the pits of HELL, right where I was headed if I didn't allow Him to save me and set me upon the ROCK, His foundation....that is "UNMOVEABLE".

Did I listen? NO!!!

I thought I had it all, a high all the time and a wonderful man with whom to share it all with,two beautiful girls whom I loved dearly.....Boy what more could you ask for?

Well, let me tell you. It was not enough. I had two small children whom needed me, God gave me those children to love and nuture and train up in the way they should go. But I still did not let go of my habitual habit of drugs. He was always with me... even though I would not surrender,yes even then when I was a sinner in every matter of the word.You see He was molding and making me what He wanted me to be. He is the Potter and we are the Clay. My children were at the mercy of the world, while I was getting high and not caring what was happening, long as I could maintain that feeling.But my heart was still VOID, EMPTY!!!!!

I didn't want to give up my worldly things, as I thought I had to have that fix to get me through the day. My alcohol, my drugs....that was my daily ritual from get up to lay down.

I had been raised in Church..but I had strayed away from my teaching, but never so far that I couldn't be brought back to His word.I was trained up the way I should go , I just was rebelling against Mother and God. I had just came out of an abusive marriage, physically, mentally, and verbally. I didn't want nothing or anybody to help me. I just wanted to stay high so I could forget all about it.