| Title: The Wonderwall Diaries Author: Priscilla Entry 3 June 23, 1988 Things were never the same at home after the hearing. I think my mother was at her wits end. So, I guess, that's part of why I didn't really give her any grief when she dropped her bomb on me. "I think it would be best, for you Jade, if you spent the rest of your probation in Rhode Island with your aunt Clara." She said, all the while avoiding my eyes and the hatred burning in them. I was doing the best I could do. I was doing the damn community service that had been assigned to me. I hardly ever saw the guys anymore. All because she had asked me to. When I didn't answer, she left my room but I didn't notice. I was thinking. Thinking about how it would be to be out of Dorchester and have some time to myself. Without having to worry about the guys and all their bullshit. I made my decision. I walked the tiny hallway between my room and the kitchen and sat on the counter to watch her cook. She stopped stirring whatever the hell she was making and stared at me. I always did hate telling her what she wanted to hear.... "Fine. I'll go to Rhode Island. But on one condition: Let me say bye to my friends." Her quickly appearing smile vanished at those words, but she nodded anyway. Maybe she knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't go if she didn't grant me this. Maybe she knew that even with all their faults, those five guys were all I had. So I hopped off the counter and ran out to the streets. I found them all sitting on the steps Jess's house, talking. The conversation ceased as soon as I came into view. It felt weird all of a sudden, having to leave when we should have been together, working our problems out together like we always had before. "Hi guys." I said, my voice sounding foreign even to me. A series of 'heys' and 'wassups?' replied. I gulped and decided to just tell them everything at once. "I'm leaving." "What!?" Jess shot up from his perch between Mike and Angel. The rest of the group stayed quiet, but I knew they wanted to know also. "I'm leaving to Rhode Island so I can finish my service thing there. Its only for a couple of months." I say trying to smooth things over. Minutes ticked by as they continued to stare at me. "Well, what the fuck is wrong with you guys? Aren't you gonna say anything to me?" I asked, my temper finally getting the best of me. Finally Jess sighed, walked the short distance towards where I was standing and gave me a tight hug. "Have a nice trip." He whispered close to my ear and for the first time since I'd met them I felt tears sting my eyes. Jess's actions caused a proverbial domino effect. One by one they all hugged me and said their piece. All but Mark. He seemed distant, angry even. His usually warm hazel eyes betrayed no emotion and I found myself stammering a quick farewell before turning on my heels and walking back home. "You will not cry Jade Antoinette Corleone, you will not." I repeated to myself in a mantra over and over when the familiar prickly sensation behind my eyes started. I don't know why I was being stubborn. Why I hadn't just asked him what was wrong. "Yo! Jade hold up!" I heard from behind me and quickly stomped down the joy that threatened to develop itself into a smile. I turned around slowly and watched Mark run towards me until we were face to face. He was breathing hard, trying to catch his breath. "I...wanna say....I'm sorry. For being a jerk." The worry on his face made me smile. I caressed the side of his face with my hand and shook my head. "You're forgiven Wahlberg. Just don't do it again." I said still smiling and earning an earnest smile from him. "Being one of the main reasons why you're in this whole fucking mess, am I allowed to talk to you at wherever you're going?" He asked softly while placing a stray strand of my hair behind my ear, making me blush. He smirked when he noticed, making me blush more. "Sure, gimme your hand." I said and pulled out a pen from my pants pocket. I scribbled my aunt's address in Rhode Island on it. He pulled back his hand and examined what I'd written. Finally nodding his head, a smile firmly in place. "Thanks." He said before covering my lips with his for the first time. It sent a bolt of electricity running through my entire body only to center on my mouth. And then he pulled back, allowing us both breathe again. "Hey." He said to get my attention. I looked up at him and smiled as he caressed the right side of my face with his calloused palm. "I'll see you when you get back." He kissed me again briefly and walked away, leaving me staring at his retreating form. Title: The Wonderwall Diaries Author: Priscilla Entry 4 August 23, 1988 Time passes really slowly when you were doing things other people wanted you to do. During the three months of my stay in Rhode Island I did things I never thought I'd ever do. Serve food to homeless people, be a volunteer for a church, help clean garbage out of parks and highways. It was disgusting and I knew that a lot of things would change when I got home, because I never wanted to see an orange jumpsuit again in my life. But my time over at my aunt's also revealed a true gift to me. Mark had kept his promise. In my three months of stay he wrote and after much groveling on my part, was allowed to call. We talked for hours, and his letters were now my most prized possessions. In them he spoke so candidly to me about his family, his bad habits, his dreams, his regrets, his life. And I did the same in turn. He now could say he knew things about me my mother didn't. I packed my stuff early today; I guess I'm too excited about going back home. Around 11 o'clock in the morning, I was making my way back down to Dorchester. ************** When 4p.m. came I was already turning the corner onto my block. I can't really put into words how it felt to be home again. Even though I'd only been gone a couple of months, it was hard to admit I'd missed everything about this place. The loudness of the people and traffic of the street. The first thing I did after saying hello to my mother was go see where the guys were. Surprisingly enough, I couldn't find even one of them. I walked down the street aimlessly, just watching the pavement as I went until I bumped into someone. A strong male someone. "What the fu--" The words left my mouth as I looked up at the person that had knocked me on my ass. "I heard you were back. Get up, we got somewhere to go." Mark said extending his hand down to me. I was still unable to acquire the art of speech so I just took it and allowed him to pull me back up. He continued to hold my hand in his all the way to where we were going. We came to an apartment complex, where there was an obvious party going on. I shot Mark a quizzical look and his smile only broadened. I followed Mark through the throng of people that was his family. He introduced me to his sisters almost shyly and then his brothers. Donnie was my favorite of all of them. With his beautiful hazel eyes and brown hair. He got this instant smile on his face as soon as he noticed me at Mark's side and he made no reservations to checking me out as he dragged his eyes up and down my body. I almost blushed, almost. Donnie was taller than Mark and equally as handsome. A couple of hours later Mark and I were on the roof of the building looking out at the city below us. The sky was a dark navy blue color, sprinkled sparcely with tiny stars. He'd been acting uncharastically sweet towards me today and I just had to find out why. �What�s going on with you today?� I asked, finally turning to face him fully. He gave me this funny look and shook his head. Minutes ticked by in comfortable silence, and then Mark spoke, making me jump a mile. "I got a lot of thinking done while you were gone and I realized something. There's so many things that I want to say to you but I don't know how." He said turning his hazel gaze on mine. "Like what?" I asked tentatively, not wanting to sound eager or needy. "Like maybe you're going to be the one girl that makes me change, outside and in. And maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me from this life...from myself. I don't want to be without you for that long ever again." He said looking down at the ground shyly. I didn't realize I was crying until the tears fell on my legs, staining my jeans. "Don't cry." Mark whispered as he wiped the tears away with his thumb while cupping my face. His lips came down to mine in a crushing caress. The kind of kiss that held pent up emotion that needed to be released. Time seemed to stop as we licked, nipped, kissed, sucked every inch of exposed skin from our neck up. Our breath came in gasps as our clothes flew off and piled on the tile behind the old discarded couch we were sitting on. To this day I still wonder who the hell had put that thing up there. I watched as Mark parted my legs and studied the view of my exposed privates. I was scared, I�d never been with anyone this way and to say the truth, Mark�s erection was huge. I had honest doubts about it being able to fit inside me. But how I wanted it to. As if he�d been able to read my thoughts, Mark looked up suddenly and smiled, caressing my face sweetly as he moved his body above mine. He�d already put on a condom. �I�m not going to lie to you, its gonna hurt like a bitch, but then it�ll feel good. You gotta trust me Jade. Do you trust me?� I nodded my head without hesitation as he positioned the tip of his manhood at my entrance. �You ready for me baby?� He asked and waited until I nodded my response before thrusting deep inside me. The pain was almost unbearable; it felt like someone was ripping me up inside. It lasted for several minutes and then slowly began to fade. I opened my eyes and nodded to Mark when our eyes connected. Slowly he pulled back out of me and thrusted back in. I closed my eyes expecting the pain to return, instead I got this jolt of pleasure shooting through me, and I couldn�t stop the moan that escaped my lips. My first orgasm washed over me in a tidal wave of emotion. Never had I felt something so utterly gratifying. I wasn�t even aware of Mark�s presence inside me until I felt rather than heard him come. The muscles in his back became rigid and a muscle in his jaw pulsed as he whispered, �I love you.� He laid his head on my chest as he caught his breath. We laid there, curled up on that old beat up couch for an eternity. Stars winking at us from the obsidian sky above. Then we got up and dressed slowly, making sure not to give any indication of why we�d been gone so long. |