thursday. 29 january 04
happy one month of break up.. saw him today in sch.. i felt nothing.. i think i'm mad.. when i dun see him.. i keep trying to find chance to see him.. when i do.. i pretend that i dun want to see him.. i seriously dunno how exactly i should feel or wat i'm feeling... really miss those days..that i'll rush to imd studio to see edwin.. fell asleep in his hug.. how he try to keep me away from rain, drenched himself...i know i should move on... i really know.. but i really dunwant to...my right eye abit sore now.. very red.. i also dunno wat happen to it.. i miss him.....
torn + hurt, serene @ 11.41am
wednesday. 28 january 04
quite hoping to see him ard in sch.. but sadly no chance. had project 1 today.. quite sucky.. actually wanted to go town with kenneth..but class release at 3pm.. =.=" he's class until 6.. =.=" spent some time in the studio doing the p1.. wanting to wait for him.. got really impatient ard 4.. lolx.. so went to buy junk food with yan..indah..denise.. junk food keep me happy.. waha.. got really fed up.. weijian also left.. then still got the stupid styrofoam thingy.. so decide to give town a miss. then went to find neth.. he say he still got quite a while. so ask me to leave first.. so i left la.. he called me again when i was outside tp.. ask me wait for him. [SEE! told u she's a girl] so took 23 home with him la.. he still going town. went to the hardware shop near my house to try my luck.. they dun have styrofoam cutter...*sob*.. so have to do it in workshop tml..i miss him.. he seems proud of our breaking up.. *sob*....
wishes + hope, serene @ 2.52am
wednesday. 28 january 04
*sleepy* went to see justin off today..feeling a lit drag.. didn't go class. typo class was cancelled so its only arcdt. [well.. i also dun feel like seeing her.. i think i do have a phobia of her.. i seriously will get nightmare whenever i see her.. i dunno why la.. i dun hate her.. i'm scare of her..*shivers*].. yesterday went coffee with herwin..kenneth..esther and jacq. then neth left shawn ahd casper joined us. oh ya.. herwin's cousin and christy too.. then got a jacket for justin at topman.. shawn went river ang bao with casper.. jacq and esther went home.. so its like me herwin, christy and herwin's cousin.. so me and herwin was like gossiping about his cousin and christy.. it seems that they have alot to chat about.. =PP erm.. did i mention about the striking pink g string herwin and neth gave me? lolx.. it rocks.. [er?] lolx.. oh.. i love the crystal jigsaw piece chenghui gave me. =) man.. i love all the gifts... thanx everyone -hugx-howcome some love can even last till death.. when some dun even treasure until one died? lost confident..zz..
wishes + hope, serene @ 2.22am
monday. 26 january 04
i had the most happening party of my 18 years of life yesterday..[happening in my own sense] thanx for everybody that came.. =) had lots of fun... had food..cake.. and gambling.. est and shenny came early. they left early too.. shawn left for work ard 7.50.. everybody sort of left ard 10.30.. so me, justin and nerissa went to look for shawn and leonard at coffee bean at serangoon gardens. i had pure chocolate.. justin had white chocolate and nerissa her favv pure vanilla. .. then.. we took home the pies..and muffins.. lolx.. waited for them to finish their closing then went 7/11 to get some beer. zz.. i took the beer.. i went to the cashier.. then the uncle was like.. xiao mei mei, ni gou shui ma.. they were all luffing like mad..z.. then i didn't bring ic.. but got buspass.. waha.. feel so good to be 18.. lolx.. took cab back to my place.. 2 taxi uncle refuse to take us.. we have 5 person.. then finally.. hee. eat abit.. drink abit.. ya.. hee.. dun remember wat time they left ba.. hee.. pictures !!
wishes + hope, serene @ 2.18am
sunday. 25 january 04
happy birthday to me..happy birthday to me.. happy birthday to mee~.. happy birthday to me. =) my birthday lo.. waha.. hmm.. busy day today[24jan] stayed ard at home.. then a few relatives came.. then i went nerissa house.. her daddy gave us angbao on the eve..but we didn't had oranges so.. today is like bu hui... lolx.. then stayed awhile.. went to esther's place.. left justin at ner's place. waha.. we ate abalone porridge at esther place..wow.. then gamble abit.. won 20bucks. hee.. then met up with justin and ner and go justin's place.. it was only me justin, nerissa and leonard then.. then played abit of mahjong.. got abit distracted.. then give it a miss.. chat alot..looking at pictures.. its was kinda fun. ta da~ clock strike 12. MY BIRTHDAY.. lolz.. its the first time spend the start of my birthday at my friend's place. hehe.. recieve lots of birthday msgs..thomas..iskandar..jason..madeleine..zhenxian..jiayu..esther..shenny..peisahn..beatrice..minghui..laypeng...er..for names i miss out.. sorry..=P hmm.. still waiting for one msg that still haven been recieve..i will be the happiest person on earth.. if he remembers.... i was like 2.15 when we left justin's place.. then went to banana prata shop for prata. *giggles* eat some food.. was abit starving then.. by the time we finished food was already 3+.. leonard sent me and ner home. hmm.. having a mini party tml.. hope it sort of come out well.. =)wishes + hope, serene @ 2.38am
saturday. 24 january 04
it has been so near.. yet so far.. so close yet not giving me comfort.. been trying very hard to forget him.. keeping myself busy with stuffs and also rubbish. then i realize i'm pure dumb.. i dun have to forget.. i'll just remember ..i love him..past..now..and ever.wishes + hope, serene @ 2.38am
thursday. 22 january 04
yeah.. 2 more days to my birthday le ne.. hee.. met nerissa today. she accompany me to hm to order my bd cake. we intend to meet up on bus. but that stupid bus didn't stop at the bus stop as there is another 147 ard.. end up have to meet her at the interchange. order a 25cm coffee nut nougat cake. woo.. then justin came to meet us. ner wanted to return him the apple strudel money. waha. i got my xmas prezzie! after that went to buy food for pepper and photo frames. my mum wanted to frame some of our family photo up. after that..went ner's place.. i doing nails for her. justin also went. ner having their reunion dinner in the afternoon.[reunion lunch?] then her parents call me and justin to join in too. lolx.. abit weird in the beginning.. but its still fun. then justin's parents gave me a lift home. feel like sleeping when i saw my bed.. but its already 5.30.. my gramp are coming.. okay.. so had reunion dinner.. omg.. my lil cousins are so notti.. they played with my copic markers.. *heartache* zz... watched abit of tv after dinner and they left. my family went chinatown at ard 1.30pm. i was thinking abit of edwin then.. i saw some guy in orange tee that look like him. okay it was him. i said hi and left. then i saw shenny, james and toby later.. i tot they had a bigger grp.. as toby msged me earlier if i want to go movies then chinatown after reunion dinner. hehe.. saw some secsch juniors.. ya...happy new year!!, serene @ 4.48am
wednesday. 21 january 04
okay.. today's the eve.. hee.. went sch today missing the morning class. nvm.. i got mc. waha.. wanted to skip typography too.. but meeting herwin to go town at 6.. nothing to do at the mean time.. so went class. bored stiff.. the class was about the history of types and fonts.. omg.. i didn;t know tenghong was married.. at least he doesn't look like one.. our class ended early as expected.. then saw veroy.. so waited for christy's class to end then headed orchard. it was me..veroy, kenneth, herwin, christy and... joseph? took the expensive 518..zz.. drop off at far east.. went taka buy cheese stick.. went mandarin hotel for toilet.. and heerens for herwin's sandals, beatrice quiksilver something..and my earring hooks.. saw shawn and casper there. saw laypend mummy.. saw baldwin.. hee.. then finally went to cineleisure.. to look for christy's boss for my earring consignment thingy.. the boss really long winded..zz.. he have to consider. =P then join herwin..his cousin and kenneth at rocky's cafe for coffee. herwin and his cousin order pizza. then give kenneth a slice.. i busy talking..lolx.. then kenneth cut for me.waha.. christy finally joined us again after her busy session with her friends? at tcc. then we went paragon .. herwin want get some sexy mini swimming trucks..zz.. we went in prada and miumiu[prada's sister..] then herwin's cousin got me and christy a miumiu bag. woo.. then we went separate way.. herwin.herwin's cousin and kenneth went look for trunks.. while me accompanied christy to far east. christy got joseph's companion there.. so i left. she was busy looking at some lomo graphics. busy day..hmm???, serene @ 2.48am
sunday. 18 january 04
its getting from bad to worse.. been down with fever for a few days.. all i did was lie down.. and sleep. didn't even go to the ep outing today.. its henry's birthday. i really feel half of me is gone.. so dead.. everyday just eat those soupy stuffs. zz.. really hope can recover before new year.. then i can down all those ba gwa..zz...sick...., serene @ 3.18pm
saturday. 17 january 04
fever!.. yeah.. still feverish.zz.. despite that still went expo with shenny and esther. i bought the whitia foundation and the eye shadow that i have to aiming for a long time.. we didn't stay for long.. then went ps. did underlayer high lighting and hair extension. HEE. its finally red!!!! YEAH.. i love my hair now.. but its bleeding.. my towel is all red. zz.. i still love my hair. hehe.. OMG.. i saw the pants.. its really nice.. haiz.. i didn't buy..sad.. i saw a pink top.. i didn't buy again.. i'm literally broke.zz.. nvm.. cny coming. bought the same blouse with shenny and esther.. mine pink, esther's white and shenny's blue. hee.. we took bus home.. as mrt was damn ex. zz.. we waited for a very long time.. but 65 wouldn't come.. so we took 106. hoping to take 147 outside paradiz. end up.. 147 was all fully packed.. so we took 837 instead..then maybe we could drop off and take a bus near our place. we drop off at boon keng.. the 147 is still packed.. normally 147 will be quite empty as people normally alight there..zz.. we still took 147 home..me and i hate myself.., serene @ 1.18am
friday. 16 january 04
vday coming?.. felt sad..saw him today.. i miss him. i know i shouldn't..esp i didn't think of him that much already.. why everything have to become ike this.. we used to be great friends back.... i really regretted being together with him... maybe we were still great friends now if we were not together... i lost some1 i love.. its like a stab in the heart...me and i hate myself.., serene @ 1.18am
thursday. 15 january 04
hmm.. having headache now.. but still feeling abit excited about my birthday.. hee.. having a mini party at home. sounds like a get together as i invited some friends that i have not been seeing for quite a long time. homework have been piling up.. but i am clearing it away. sch was really boring today.. have to do sketches for project1. pure boring. oh ya.. been somehow picked by the adm yr2 for modelling in the fashion show for the design open house.. thats new..hadn't tried modelling before. hehe. hao..bed..cya.me in the birthday mood, serene @ 1.28am
monday. 12 january 04
intended to go to sch today..but when i woke up.. it was 1..so i continue to sleep anyway. =X the time i totally woke up was 4.. watch a little teve.. and ta da~ dinner time. after dinner went toa payoh with my mum, she's getting me the hairdye. bought the hairdye.. also bought a skirt at pepperplus. found the small containers that peggy required for colour class.. so also bought for steven.[that save us from eating chicken rice for 2 weeks]. ya.. saw samsung E700a. hey wats that? new version of E700??went orchard/marina/redhill with chenghui yesterday.. i wanted to get that converse shoe.. and every converse shop didn't sell my size. [fine.. i admitted it..its hard to find shoe of my size] ..some even didn't sell that shoe..zz.. i also didn't find the skirt that i wanted at ebase.. i am badly cursed. chenghui also can't find that shoe that he want.. zz.. but at least he bought a pack of chocolate. went ikea for dinner. hmm. did i mention that my appeal for basic photography class failed? thats fate.
me and the brand new me, serene @ 1.48am
saturday. 10 january 04
today's fun. hehe.. went market in the morning to buy corns and carrot for pepper. then went work. i was 20 mins early.. i clock in anyway.. there isn't alot of ppl that dine in.. in fact.. a few.. so we had a very very free afternoon.. we ordered pizza.. [the ba gua pizza i call that..] eat alot.. ya.. we even play with ice cream..lolx.. belle add chocolate ice cream into pepsi twist. lolx.. its nice.. we even offered the customers.. later.. belle taught me how to play minesweeper with her lappie[okay i sucks.. i dun even know how to play that].. okay.. do i sounds like i'm working? hehe.. didn't take mrt home.. i took 80 ..then change 133.. so i can save on transportation. i got concession ma.. heheyeah..going to orchard ..or marina? with chenghui. hopefully i can finally get my hair dyed tml.. and ya going to find my converse shoe again.. and some more new year stuffs... new year coming ya... my birthday too. *hint*
me and the brand new me, serene @ 11.48pm
tuesday. 6 january 04
zz.. boring tuesday. woke up late. and rush to school.. luckily.. hee jusri was even later than me. waha. =P i'm suppose to give hq morning call.. zz i can't wake up.. then he miss his alarm.. and thus he didn't go his morning class. so sorry ne... the first lesson was ultra boring.. its architecture design theory.. *faints* then u get to know like. wats actually is design.. =.="then waited for like 4 hours? then came my second lesson of the day which is typography. i stepped into the lab. i almost really fainted. lolx.. its all macs!!! i dunno how to use mac.. siao ar... zz.. ok. at least now i know how to on the come le. wahaha.. hey.. the lecturer tenghong look more like a student. lolx... lesson ended in 15mins!!! and i waited for like 4 hours for that 15 mins???!! zzzz... tml will be another boring day.. 2pm then start sch.. iad project 1.. haizz~
i still feel weird him treating me like a friend. hey~! but i'm getting used to it. =PP maybe... more time for me??
me and the brand new me, serene @ 8.48pm
went to sch despite having no lessons. went to see cm about my appealing for more modules. hang ard in sch.. talk to friends that went missing for about 2 months. i miss him.. miss him badly... sch seem so different without him.... but i will try my best to forget him..he likes me.. *faint*
me and the brand new me, serene @ 1.49am
sunday. 4 january 04
hadn't been crying for 4 days.. i somehow felt that i should cry.. at the point when i think i was strong..i start to question myself.. i'm i really that strong? or i am just avoiding..this worries me...i should cry... the more i tried to forget him.. the more i think of him.. i miss him... worry about him.. i dun want to forget him..me and the brand new me, serene @ 11.49pm
friday. 2 january 04
i'm still struggling to cope.. but i'm coping well.. =) i have alot to say.. but i dunno how to start.. lets talk about my timetable.. its freak.. all afternoon lessons.. haiz.. i even had monday off.. i lurve monday sch.. i going to appeal for basic photography on monday. hope i can get in, so that my monday wun be free.. or maybe i can be in the same class as bea.. i've no cds.. sad... i have typo[did i choose this?]..colour and visual lit..hee. going to highlight and cut my hair on sunday.. yeah pink! its like months since i said that.. hehe..birthday is coming.. i dun even had the birthday mood.. -argh- just wanna eat and hang out with some close friends. =) this will be good enuff. new year coming too.. been packing and cleaning the house. i feel like painting on my wall. hee..
nerissa found her love. really glad that she got over with jason and now living happily with yeeyong[izit spelt this way?]..hee..really really happy for her.. i used to think that things happened to the others wun happen to me... and i really have alot of confident in our relationship.. maybe i'm really nt the one for him.. well... its better lydat bahx.. at least.. i wun hurt him again...
me and the brand new me, serene @ 11.49pm
thursday. 1 january 04
wats with the left 03.. its dashed hope and unfulfilled promises.. i was in pain..along with my friends for countdown.. everyone seemed to be very happy.. i tried to follow suit. for a moment.. i tot i was..its 2004. everybody was cheering.. i was too.. a tear fell. i missed him.. for that moment.. i wish everything could go back to norms when he was still with me. but harsh truth slapped me..he wasn't with me any more.. not even abit.. i knew i have to let go..let go totally.. i wasn't crying anymore.. tears were all dried up.. i dun hate him.. i dun blame him.. still i missed his presence. but i'm sure i can do it.. move on..get on with life without him. really thank him for all e happy time he gave..hope he can find somebody he really like.. and also wish that he would be happy... i've grown up..me and the brand new me, serene @ 11.59pm