sunday. 29 february 04
i feel damn sad now.. and i am actually feeling sad... i think i hurt her.. i really meant wat i said...how i wish i can blog watever shit here.
@ 2.11am
saturday. 28 february 04
saturday lo~ hols ending.. didn't really do much in this holiday. just went to sch as usual for project 1. its kinda progressing.. but still.. worrying. pray for the best ba. went queensway with shenny yesterday. bought my pink+maroon+white low dunk. .. i actually cannot find my 50 dollars...and i told the guy i'll come back for it. then i find my 50 dollars. i really embarrassed myself. =.=" after that went orchard. i wanna get a pair of heels there. yay~ they have my size. =) so *poof* $150 gone. 119 for the dunk and 24.90 for the heels. but i still feel contented. *wink* shenny looks at tees. but she just simply doesn't want to buy it. and later she regret for not buying. =.=" then esther and ying came over my place. we had pizza.. and went to get some beer and alcohol to chill out... darn. the auntie scold me for nothing. HEY. I'M 18. sell me ur beer and shut up!! drank..chat..fell asleep.. wEet~i think he hates me. dread it. he doesn;t even want to talk to me. is talking to me that hard. dread it~!!
@ 9.34pm
the white heels i'm talking about~!
like my pink low dunk??
rubbishes
@ 1.33am
friday. 27 february 04
tml is gonna be all exciting + fun~!
@ 3.23am
thursday. 26 february 04
went movies + shopping with neri, chenghui and rongzheng today. watch mystic river. nice story plot.. but abit too draggy.. nearly fell asleep. bought a top i wanted at samuel&kevin [finally have my size], and a pink belt at miss selfridge. [i love the belt~! pink rocks~!]. saw 3 pairs of damn nice shoe today.. one is nike air[pink maroon and white colour].. another one was a converse shoe [light pink and dark pink] and the last one was a pair of white heels.. omg.. its so nice.. i going to buy it on friday. *wink* its a whole lot of things i wanted to buy on friday. but i'm not going to spend the money i saved! *full of determination* opened a friendster account for pepper. i think its time for him to know more friends =) to add him -- [email protected] shawn's gekkay also have a account. woo~one fact i learnt today
-nerissa doesn't know who is william hung. [WAHAHAHAHA]
my new belt!
my acrylic model~!
@ 2.43am
wednesday. 25 february 04
feeling weird again.. miss him alot. was packing my drawer just now.. found alot of things that brought back memories..ticket stubs..mos creamer..prints..pictures.. a card he gave me.. receipts..note slips.. the ring..so sweet.. after 2 months.. i still can't put it down.. i love him more than i tot i do..lost @ 12.43am
tuesday. 24 february 04
didn't go sentosa today. just simply doesn't have the mood to go.. so msged maht and went school, intended to do my model. beat,jason,isk,rongsheng,maht,alvin,denise,liyana,jacq,dan,herwin and esther were in sch man. did model in workshop.. *yay~ i dare to use the big saw machine!* did all the dimensioning le.. tml have to go sch again for the matt sanding and finish up all the cutting. bought the wrong gousque for my colour. i bought poccess cyan instead of brilliant blue. *sob*
Lonliness dominates you. You can hide it well, but
its there, and your friends can see it. You
constantly feel alone, and need to do things to
fill your time. Your afraid to tell people
this, but sooner or later it gets out in a bad
way, and you think you screwed up everything.
And when you are in love is when you are sad
the most. (Please Vote)
What Emotion Dominates you?
brought to you by Quizilla
lost @ 12.08am
monday. 23 february 04
omg.. i really dun like him anymore... do i.. i actually can joke with him... its scary... i can't imagine myself not liking him anymore... my heart will be empty... am i?... its so scary....i want to like him....so scary.. *happy 7th month together if we hadn't broke up..*lost @ 2.58am
sunday. 22 february 04
hmm.. i'm kinda waiting for myself to be rash. i'm being too calm and reserved. its so not me.. its pretty comfortable like this... but its just not me. so hypocritical..maybe going to sentosa tml.. i still haven decide. after that they going to furama to ton.. but it seems to me.. whole bunch of guys... =.="
my journey to places are damn weird these days.. i either got off too early.. or forget to alight.. i'm not sleeping in bus.. i also dunno wats wrong with me.. i even brought a stranger to lavender st yesterday. =.="
i think.. i lost myself.....
the mock model i made
You have an earth personality. You takes things
seriously and are a deep thinker who is usually
interested in politics and will fight for what
he/she believes. You hardly ever fall in love,
but when you do, watch out world. You would
fight to the death to hold onto a relationship.
Your friends and colleagues see you as a rock
in the storm; someone stable and constant while
emotions rage around you. Be careful, because
of this you can sometimes be seen as
emotionless when, in fact, you are in touch
with your emotions far better than the average
Joe.
Elemental Personalities: Which is Yours?
brought to you by Quizilla
am i still... serene? @ 4.49pm
saturday. 21 february 04
went for class early today.. i having colour at 12. and its only ME. ONLY ME. in the class with peggy. she was like. ar? one student???!! lolx.. more came later.. she say she's gonna send warning letter to the rest. =X .. did abit of painting and she left for the dunno wat talk. didn't go.. coz i working at 6pm later. went to look for jusri at his office.. didn't get him.. call him.. didn't answer.. so me and mathani went round the whole sch just to look for him. end up.. he was at norgan vaaz with aida.. rachna and perry.. =.=" asked for 4 piece of acrylic.. and went to get it in the workshop. mat went to saw.. its so scary.. the saw is so BIG.... it was 5+ after that.. so went work with airin and rongsheng.. they're so cute man.. took 69 and change mrt.. we laugh all the way to work.. lolx.. it was like... 4 big piece of acrylic i was carrying home.. with a DAMN LONG acrylic rod and my colour toolbox... =.=" went work.. was late for 8 mins.. saw new manager.. [he is weird... keep sticking ard.. talking nonsense... eating alot... first time see this kind of manager]. mop.. sweep.. went home.. oh ya.. i fire broke out beside amara.. i think quite big ne... 3 fire engines...2 police cars..2 ambulance.. scary.. the whole place crowded with passerbys and thick smoke.. if it go nearer.. i'll be burn to death. *shivers* no more money in my ezlink card.. so took bus. took 80 and change 133.. .. i'm taking up 2 person's seat. [my 4 acrylic remember?] hai.. got down and change 133.. 3 133 left... i can't go up.. they'r too crowded for my acrylic... *sob*... i nearly cried.. i'm left with like 2 bucks... can't go home.. i call my daddy.... he can't come fetch me... i was so afraid..... and helpless.. finally a 133 that i could board came... saw peiling.. she carry a piece for me.. a nice lady gave up her sit to me... so nice....*muacks* after that went blk 237 to eat... with my mummy her mummy her sister and her friend. its kinda cool. neighbours reunion.. when can me and another 11 get together again? cool...didn't see him today.. why i can't just get a glimpse of him before sch hols...*sob*
missing him.., serene @ 1.11am
thursday. 19 february 04
saw him just once today.. kinda wish that i could see him more. =) today's class is relaxing.. for vis lit, we did a psychology test thingy.. guess wat? i'm a over careful and over anxious person. =.=" am i??feel like getting a tattoo. its like.. so cool... but still.. its a lifetime commitment.. won't be rash. =)
wanted to get a flip flop at charles and keith today.. so went tm with zhiwei after my project1. sadly, it's out of stock.. did abit of shopping.. saw the jeans that i want!! i think i will buy it next next week. *cheer~*
bought 2 blouses today.. a grey one and a yellow one. i haven neither yellow or grey top.. so.. this is interesting. =)
just watch bachelorette,the wedding.. they're simply so sweet.. i guess... its kinda hard to find someone that u love and love u that much.. so people! if u ever find somebody like this! grab him/her! =)
this is so.. omg.. i can't help but keep smiling.. =)
missing him.., serene @ 11.59pm
wednesday. 18 february 04
throat abit sore~.. i'm avoiding heaty stuffs.. but ivon bought me rochers. so i ate it. waha... i got a necklace for vday from a friend. so nice of him...and a paper rose from edwin a few days ago.. damn happy today.. finally for once!! jusri like my model... WOOO..YAy~!!! went to workshop got acrylic sheets.. i'm gonna make a transparent model.. woo.. [it will look like glass.] bought a book that demonstrate rendering at basheer bookfair today.. it look kinda old.. but still look pretty useful to me. =) wanted to wait for kenneth.. but he's having test until 7. so i gave it a miss. so stressful to see people stress for exams.. its kinda cute either. saw people studying anywhere from busstop to canteens.. really burying their head inside their papers/books.. then i when i walk into studio.. kinda different way of preparing for exams greeted me.. first was veroy trying to spray his hair darkbrown.. so that he could get into the examination hall.. then was cindy asking people whether should she take out her BIG earrings.. wahaha.. wished veroy good luck.. not for his exams.. but just luck to get into the examination hall...*faints*.. ohya. today, me, weimin and rongsheng is wearing the same jeans.. SO CUTE. lolx.. we're like posing for other people to see.. waha....torn + hurt, serene @ 8.01pm
*tired* isn't it better like this... we'll never say goodbye again....torn + hurt, serene @ 2.01am
tuesday. 17 february 04
I'M FREAKING TIRED NOW!!!..
just woke up from a wink.. and i slept like 1.5 hrs??? *DAMN TIRED* have like 90 terminologies to hand in later. *yeah i finished it* congrat myself. but wat ??? i have the egyptian presentation!!!!! ..jacq went to bed. so its only ME doing it..*soB*.. i want to sleep~!!!~!~!~!!!DAMN TIRED, serene @ 6.17am
monday. 16 february 04
been messed up.. my original tots and beliefs were all messed up.. its in a total confusion now.. i dunno how should i feel or wat should i think.. so i'll go sleep... but its worse.. been having alot of nightmares..[at least they were nightmares to me] i always wake up crying.. i hate this... i ask myself many times.. but i dun think i'm a terrible person.. why are all these happening to me... do i deserve these....torn + hurt, serene @ 12.57am
saturday. 14 february 04
valentine's day~ today was the first time in my life.. celebrating this day.. sounds sad ya.. i'm 18 for ur information.... my day started at 7pm. drag myself up.. and went tm. went to subway to get cookies.. and headed sch. nobody was there when i reach.. so i went to studio to catch some sleep. woke up at 9.45 then called shawn. he was in pivia.. so went to find them. our embassedor day started again~ bringing people ard.. *yawn* went back to pivia to take the lollipops that i bought for them. then tot of sneaking the cookies into ed's bag. =X i did leave a note, but didn't write name. i went off at 1.. coz i'm meeting shawn, leonard, nerissa and marcel at 1.30. i was damn late. i reached at 2.30.. coz that stupid 518 was damn long.. and we waited for mass dance before leaving. i left with anny and jason. reached ps. grab a burger at kfc and went movies. it was a 310 slot. we had the first row.. *neck ache* nice movie.. =) after that wanted to eat at snoopy place. but the restaurant was closed. =.=" seok kheng was actually working there.[ my primary sch classmate ] wanted to eat at fish and co.. but the queue was like.. O.O .. we should have booked.. but too late to regret isn't it? end up, we had dinner at pizzahut. it was filling.. [in fact.. too filling] and nice. took alot of pictures. and went heerens. saw zhili and tiong hao again. [did saw them at ps]. they look so matching and cute. her bf got her a mp3 player. =) got shawn a pot of plant which he name gek gek [fake fake]. thats my vday.. =)
do we look like a "couple"?
shawn + gek gek
shawny looking cool
torn + hurt, serene @ 11.37pm
friday. 13 february 04
friday the 13.. i hate friday the 13.. its always a sucky day for me.. lets talk about yesterday first ba.. was the first day of open house. i'm the ambassedor or design.. woO.. every embassedor wore pink. it rocks. its so fun and so happening ya. bring people ard.. dance design mass dance.. watch fashion shows.. keep bumping into edwin.. oh ya. he was in the fashion show. he look damn cool. *grin* went home with kenneth. today ne.. same stuffs loh.. just that he wasn't in the fashion show. he has gastric.. wanted to help him buy food.. but he want to eat with his friends.. had headache myself.. so went to studio and slept. fell off the table [shawn say its damn umglamourous and i'm sleeping on rayner's table] then cut my leg. *prays that he get better* can't find shawn at all ne.. he went off early. =.=" so went home alone today.. miss him badly...tml will be going out with shawny.. nerissa.. leonard.. and marcel. i think its going to be fun.. but it was always my wish to celebrate it with edwin..torn + hurt, serene @ 11.57pm
thursday. 12 february 04
hmm.. maybe i'm thinking too much again ba.. have to convince myself its not possible at all.. kinda feel like getting him a jar of cookies for vday.. its so long since i bought cookies for him.. he love cookies.. i tot i dun think about him anymore.. i asked myself many times.. i really tot i dun.. then i'll start remembering how nice he was.. how comfortable i was when i was with him.. yeah.. i still love him.. not abit.. alot. i'm not stuck.. i'm moving.. i'm not removing him.. i letting him fade away.. well.. at least i still get to see him on vday.. even thou.. its going to be just a glance faraway.. but its enough for me.. at least i still get to see him. he look kinda sad.. like in pain now.. he was never a happy boy.. really hope i'm not a sorce of his pain ba.. maybe i'm thinking too much again.. maybe i dun even weight in his heart.. my vday plans is still not confirm.. but presently is me shawny, leonard and ner going out. but i still hope that yeeyong dates ner out. =)torn + hurt, serene @ 2.41am
tuesday. 10 february 04
hee.. i recieved a parcel today. i was kinda shock.. as normally i dun even recieve letters.. hee. it was a bouquet of rose inside.. so sweet.. it was from jake. that explains how come he ask for my address like a few weeks ago. =) was really surprize ne.. today kinda nice.. design theory went smoothly.. jusri didn't pick on me.. typo was fun.. so was break.. =) everything's so nice [minus the part that i saw edwin and pretend that i was reading newspaper so didn't see him.. pretend to look up and shock to see him.. faking a HI.. pretend to continue reading newspaper.. talking to beatrice.. pretend to walk out damn cool.. faking a bye to him.]. i miss him..abit....
torn + hurt, serene @ 9.51pm
monday. 9 february 04
hmm.. vday approaching le.. another person kinda ask me out. =.=" hmm.. i really dunno wat to do on vday.. was intend to go out with shawny, ner and leonard.. but it seems that leonard has a date, and ner wants to study for her exams. hai.. miss him lots..~ project 1 sucks la.. i dunno how to go about it.. dunno wat jusri wants... this cannot.. that also cannot...*STRESS*..lots of things that i need to do still undone.. like depositing money.. pay bills.. buy shoe.. argh.... miss my mental pillar.. but now he's gone.. i can still stand..had a para performance today at some clan's dinner.. its mad la.. its like all old folks there.. then we dance para.. =.=" .. we enjoyed the dinner thou.. hee.. saw a bracelet at marinasquare.. omg.. its so nice.. its a charm bracelet with alot of heart with different colour, dull copper,dull gold and dull silver.. i'm going to buy it!! okay.. time to feed my bed. ciao~
torn + hurt, serene @ 1.31am
saturday. 7 february 04
woo.. slept really well today... suppose to go bugis with jason and company then meet shawn and leonard later.. but i was simply tired and feel like getting more sleep. jason too. =) so i slept until 5+.. its so cool so sleep so much. waha... for once.. project1 wasn't affecting me.. bought brother to toa payoh for dinner.. bought a pair of really nice sandals.. and also a tool box for my copic markers.. also bought ddee a cd.. hai.. why can't my brother stop wanting to buy things? its CD that i bought him.. wow..~[i dun buy cds at all...i find them a total waste of money. no. i dun dl too.. i simply dun listen to music.erm.. at least they are not essential to my life =p].. i love project1...ohya.. my taggie is up. =)
torn + hurt, serene @ 9.57pm
tiring... hadn't been sleeping well for a few days.. *yawn* damn damn sleepy... project 1 really sucks.. i really dunno how to do it.. the way jusri wants it. *sob*suppose to have colour management today.. but peggy didn't come.. so slept in studio. dos passed me the basic theory book.. nerissa came and look for me.. i did some sketches for p1.. then leonard and shawn came.. dragged nerissa.. leonard and shawn with me to sp together with vernace.. woo.. their studio is kinda cool.. everybody gets their own pc.. they get to do life size projects too.. while we only can do tiny models.. =.="
ate at the mac in sp.. then went esplanade. ner wants to borrow some books at the library. i took a book [pearl harbour] and sat at the couch to read.. then i fall asleep. they woke me up.. also can't remember how long i slept. ner borrow a whole pile of books. then walk ard... went perlini's and swarovski.. omg OMG.. i saw the necklace. damn nice *faints* 200 dollars. waha.. saw a new charm bracelet. also nice. i shouldn't have even window shop. *argh* it makes me damn miserable..wanting to buy.. but i have to save money... this is the first time.. i had the original amount of angbao money still ard... hadn't even spend a dollar. *cheers*.
and my shoe? omg.. i still wearing that torn pink sneakers.. wanted to get the pink nike shoe.. *sob* saving up definitely needs determination...
torn + hurt, serene @ 1.31am
wednesday. 4 february 04
i took away the tag.. its not functioning.. i have better things to do now.. so taggie will be away for a few days.. until i get the whole script rite.felt kinda cheated. remember the modeling thing? they kinda call me and whether i'm free on 13 and 14 of feb, if free can join them from the modeling thingy. they had their first rehearsal today.. and they didn't call me.. i totally feel cheated. at least call me up and tell me if i'm still in anot.. i am now living in doubts. hai...
class ended really early today.. [did it really ended?] started at 3 and ended like 10 mins after?.. =.=" so i start on my model and wait for kenneth... jusri said i overdo.. erm.. he wanted a rough model.. and i was like..doing with those styrofoam and wood..lolx.. nvm.. i can keep that for the actual model.. bought a few art cards.. was eating cup noodels with herwin then kenneth came back... why can't our timing tally abit.. its either i need to go off then he late release.. or i eating noodles he come back... =.=" then accompany denise to kaki bukit driving centre for her theory paper.. woo.. i going to register on sat with izon and alvin.. then weijian kinda told ask about driving and stuffs.. sounds exciting.. went home by 3 buses today.. weijian also 3.. kenneth 4.. lolx.. Oh Ya! yan and jacq gave me a bracelet today.. my belated birthday present.. woo.. thanx a million.. -hugx- today will be burning mid night oil again..
torn + hurt, serene @ 1.21am
wednesday. 4 february 04
he left.. but i stayed...torn + hurt, serene @ 1.01am
tuesday. 3 february 04
arg.. i want to sleep... doing my design theory now.. trying to find the chinese culture thing.. if i could cut in a chunk and print it out.. so i dun have to write. *yawnz*went out with leonard and shawn today. watch gothika[hey~! its quite nice.=)].. sang at ktv party world... roam on the streets abit.. ya.. thats it.. i think i'll continue posting tml.. really sleepy...
torn + hurt, serene @ 3.11am
sunday. 1 febuary 04
i know i know.. i should move on.. but these memories are to vivid and nice to be forgotten.. so.. i'm still living in it.. until it fades away ba.. i still miss him alot alot. er.. yeah.. vday coming.. a few junkies asked me out.. =.=" i took leave off work. as i promised myeself last year i wun be working this year on vday. hee.. i getting myself the charm bracelet i saw from perlini's catalogde. =) tml going to toby's house to take angbao.. then maybe abit shopping with shenny and esther. then monday.. going out with leonard..shawn..nerissa.. and company. we're watching peter pan.. seriously.. i feel like watching stuck on you. i hope peter pan's good.. its like a million years since i last watched movies.. =p okay.. besides that.. i'll still be into that styrofoam dragon carving thingy.. have yet to finish sanding it and giving it a coat of paint. oh ya.. wanted to go expo to see that body thingy with kang mich and lester today.. but stood them up coz i have to work.. sorta last minute as nobody told me wat time i have to work today.. is basketball really that nice?.. maybe i should get something i would totally be engross with..torn + hurt, serene @ 3.01am