I told him I love him! No wonder he's acting strange; I scared him away. I am so stupid! It's one thing to harbor feelings for your best friend, but it's a totally different thing to get drunk and pour your feelings out in a cheap motel. I can't believe I tol him I love him. Well, now I know he doesn't feel the same way. Maybe I can get over him. Probably not. I can still remember the way his arms felt around my waist when he held me close, and how comfortable I was when my head was over his heart.
I am so pathetic! All these years I've been in love with him and I wait until I'm drunk off my ass to tell him so. Pathetic. So, now I'm sitting here in my living room drinking a bottle of scotch and trying not to remember how sweet he smelled and trying not to wonder what his lips would feel like on mine. I don't think he said two words to me today that didn't have something to do with work. It's like he forgot what happened in Dayton. Maybe he wishes he could.
It's two in the morning and someone is knocking on my door. It had better be an emergency. I grab my robe from the chair beside my bed and feel my way to the front door, not wanting to waste time looking for my glasses. Four locks on the door. Who'd have thought you'd need four locks on your door in a good neighborhood in CJ? The Secret Service insisted, but I still don't see the need for four locks! I fling open the door, prepared to scream profanities at the person who interrupted my sleep, but I lose my voice when I see who's standing in front of me. Toby!
Toby doesn't wait for me to invite him in, or even for me to acknowledge his presence. "I love you, too," is the only warning I get before he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. The moment his lips meet mine, I'm completely lost. Nothing has ever felt so right, and I know now that would have never gotten over him. Later, as I lay wrapped in his arms and he kisses my hair, I realize exactly what this is. Home. I've searched my entire life for someone to make me feel at home, and that someone has been right in front of my face the whole time. Toby feels like home.
Waking up beside him is almost the most amazing feeling ever. He smiles in the morning; Toby Zeigler actually smiles! I lean up to kiss him, but he pulls away. I'm hurt at first, but then I see that he's only gone to get something out of his jacket. He takes my hand and I try to pull him back into bed, but he kneels down beside it instead. He says all of the things I've been waiting my entire life to hear, and he means what he says. When he asks me the question, I give the only answer I can. "Yes!" He slips the ring on my finger and I launch myself into his arms. He really does feel like home.