| TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT... |
| You could describe Disney employees as funloving people. A lot of folks working at the park are creative people working part time while waiting for their big break. Let's just say they've got a lot of imagination. Most of the time, when someone quits it's a little sad because you hate to see your friends go, but on the other hand, the thinking caps go to think up a splashy way of saying goodbye. One victim...uh...lucky guy who comes to mind was a Guest Control lead named Noel. He was getting married and after the honeymoon was going to be starting work at a real job. The thing was that he had a reputation for playing jokes on other people (see Stunt stories), so the crew decided to get even...but in a nice way. There was a big potluck in the Frontierland conference room and Noel was handed an envelope that contained the first of many clues to find his wedding present somewhere in the park. He went from attraction to attraction, finding more clues in areas off limits to the guests. The last envelope he found had a clue that read "the place where you're spending your honeymoon." His first thought was " Hawaii!" so he went over to the Tiki Room. Hmmmmmmm...no gift. Then his thoughts took a more...hormonal... turn, shall we say. Noel went over to the Swiss Family Treehouse (that music never leaves my brain!!!) and started looking in the different rooms. A-ha! The door to Mr. and Mrs. Robinson's room was actually unlocked and opened. On the bed lay a box wrapped in beautiful wedding paper, ribbons and flowers. He walked in, picked up the box and before he knew what was happening, a small group of merrymakers slammed the door shut and locked him in. Then they left. For all purposes, Noel was the latest exhibit at the zoo. As the guests walked out of the attraction, they would ask "why is there a guy sitting in there?" He had nothing better to do, so he put on Mrs. Robinson's foo-foo hat that had been sitting on the bureau and enticingly batted his eyelashes at everyone who came by for the hour that he was stuck there. Eventually, the supervisors made us let him out. |
| Generally speaking, the longer someone has worked there, the less likely they are to plan a stunt on their own (there are exceptions to this rule). Being assigned to the West side, home of not only the Rivers of America but the Jungle Cruise, the guys usually find themselves dunked on their last day. Once we arrarnged to radio a Guest Control lead that he was needed at Jungle. He'd done his exit interview and was still feeling somewhat sentimental, not knowing that there were about a dozen of us hiding in the boathouse waiting for him. Our accomplice said "I need to show you something..." and we all rushed out. I quickly removed his expensive wristwatch, another girl took out his wallet, a third checked his other pockets and he was unceremoniously swung then thrown into the water in front of a boat that was just pulling in. The smart aleck skipper couldn't resist saying "THAT, ladies and gentleman, is what happens when you don't watch your step!" A few of the guests had to take pictures, (it was worth waiting hiding in the heat just to see the expressions on the guests faces) and as the poor guy sputtered and spit the world's most disgusting water out he said "hey...this actually feels pretty good!" (did I mention it was about 105f and really muggy at the beginning of September?) |
| Bo, one of the canoe leads, was particularly fond of drilling holes in old paddles and giving anyone who was leaving his ride for good a nice whuppin'. Another guy, the son of one of the original big shots, planned his own stylish exit. Every 15 minutes, the clock in Small World goes off and the little parade of dolls goes around. Unfortunately, this area is accessable to determined employees (someone once put a bunch of empty liquor bottles at the end of the parade). At the end of this guy's shift, the clock tower went off and the dolls proceeded as usual to be followed by a 6'2" blonde haired blue eyed athletic type waving to everyone in line as he took his final ridethrough...that was a "no rehire." |
| My personal favorite took place in 1985. This one definitely resulted in a "no rehire." The guy was assigned to Jungle and wanted to leave behind a legendary tale. On what was scheduled to be his next-to-last trip around the river he deviated from the spiel. The usual at the hippo pool is "don't worry folks, they're only dangerous when their ears wiggle..." then of course, the ears wiggle and the skipper fires a two shot...only he was prepared. He aimed the gun and shot but nothing happened. "Oh no, folks! We're out of ammunition!!! Don't worry, I'll save you!" With that, he jumped to the bow of the boat, ripped off his shirt and dove into the murky water. He swam over to the hippos and pulled a (fake) knife out of his rear pocket and started stabbing them with huge arm movements. The guest were loving it and everyone was either taking pictures or videotaping him. After the hippos submerged, he thought he could swim back and reenter the boat...problem was, he left the throttle on a little faster than he should have and he couldn't catch up. So off the boat went, skipperless to the end of the ride. As luck would have it, Don C. the A-lead and one of the supervisors happened to be at the exit as the boat came around the bend. After a "what-the-hell?" at each other, they had the "monkey boys" on the dock get the boat stopped and unloaded. They asked the guests what happened and got a lot of laughs in reply, so they deadheaded the boat back into the ride to see what was going on. When they found the errant skipper, he was sitting in the elephant pool spitting water out at passing boats. He never did get to make a last trip around the river. |