WILLIAM the BLOODY-Excerpts from Spike's new book of poetry!


VAMP VERSES
Posted by: SPIKESMYGOD - Mar 22, 2002, 4:34 PM

Buffy, Buffy
Let me count the ways
You lift my nights
And brighten my days

Your staking of vamps
And breaking their jaws
How we kick da flava
And you bruise my balls


Willow, Willow
With your hair so red
The way you brought Buffy
Back from the dead

Though you can't really punch
And never could kick
Your magic is potent
Though you stopped driving stick


Xander, Xander
So you're Buffy's loyal
If life were an ass
You'd be the boil

Once I lose this chip
You'll stop talkin' smack
'Cause I'll drain you dry
And break your back


Giles, Giles
My lost British brother
You look like my father
But act like my mother

If you weren't so stodgy
Brittle & old
You might not end up
Always knocked out cold


Angel, Angel
With your hair so straight
Because of that curse
You have to masturbate

With your doom and gloom
You're so damn aloof
That's why I call you
The Great Big Poof


Anya, Anya
You're so rude & funny
You'd sell your own child
If you could make some money

Once a strong demon
With an endless life
Now you won't even
Be fat boy's wife


Tara, Tara
You make my heart flutter
You're so kind & sweet
In spite of your stutter

You had to leave Willow
So she could get better
I'll throw you the bone
If you take off your sweater


Dawn, Dawn
Like my own daughter
I save you from vamps
Protect you from slaughter

I'd take you for a drive
To see the fall leaves
But you looted my crypt
And stole my keys




 
VAMP VERSES CONT.
Posted by: SPIKESMYGOD - Mar 22, 2002, 4:42 PM

Riley, Riley
Your last name is Finn
In the battle for Buffy
It looks like I win

You carry a gun
Messages you decode
If you went on Jeopardy
Your head would explode


Drusilla, Drusilla
You said I was lazy
At least I wasn't
Stark ravin' crazy

Now I love Buffy
Her best friend's a witch
If I see you again
I'll stake you bitch


Harmony, Harmony
You were fun for a while
You would pull down my pants
And make me smile

Though your lights may be dim
You're still good for one thing
Take off your clothes
And make me go shwing


Faith, Faith
Though you're nuts as hell
You climb my flagpole
And I'll ring your bell

Your hot sweaty body
Is more than I can take
You thought the Mayor was bad
I'll show you a snake
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