dreams3

So we all sat there in silence, a million things running through my head, I felt as if it would explode if I didn't make a decision. I was thinking about how my last name wouldn't change, I wanted it to so bad... but I was afraid that people might think that I was doing something wrong by marrying someone from my own family... I would have to explain to so many people that Jeff is adopted and that it is okay. Should I marry him or tell him no and risk not finding another? The entire room was starring at me, I could feel their eyeballs running all over my body. I took a leap of faith and rolled towards him and kissed him on his lips, and there... face to face with him, our eyes were inches apart I wispered "yes."

The room cheered and I began to cry out of joy and excitement. Jeff told me that the ring was hidden in one of 5 boxes that he had wrapped. Instead of letting me open them up, he opened up the box he knew it was in and handed me a binder full of pictures of rings, attached by ribbon to the notebook was an engagement ring, the prettiest I could have imagined. He stood up by me, and I remember thinking how perfect it felt for him to stand by my side. He is tall, and I came about to his shoulders, my head fit perfectly in his chest. I looked up at him as he slipped it on my finger. It was platinum, thin band with cut out engraving that held the stone up on a high pedistal. The diamond, was princess cut square, looked like it was a karrat and a half. It was so perfect!

I ran to my mom who was sitting on the floor grinning from ear to ear. I said,

"It happend, it happened... in time for me to have a candel passing. I get to have a candel passing when I get back."

Get back, meant return to school. Candel passing meant that I would get to participate in a ritual that my sorority has in honor of new engagements. I remember thinking how wondeful it was going to be, returning to school, and surprising everyone with the shock of their lives. I was engaged!!!

The next thing I remember was Jeff sitting on the floor with the ring selector book picking out a different ring for me... and what he was picking was so ugly. We had our first tiff right there in front of our entire family. I won't go into what the ring he picked out looked like, its a stupid part of my dream anyways. (well isn't this entire dream stupid?)

Next I remember getting off of a bus by myself, I was in another county. I knew where I was supposed to meet Jeff, like for our honey moon or something....so I walked right into the small pub and wanted to order an amarreto sour so bad... but something was distracting the bar tender. I looked, and there are my parents walking in.

They came in, and sat with me at the bar and we all waited for Jeff to get there. Then a huge truck pulls up on the side walk in front of the pub and runs over my suitcases that were sitting out there. I ran to the door to see if I could salvage them, but this lady jumped out of the back of the truck and started handing me open shoe boxes and yelling at me to put them down in storage. I remember feeling so frustrated because it would have made the work so much easier if everyone in the place would have come and helped me by forming an assembly line to carry the shoes downstairs. Then I remember out of the blue the bar tender, a female, tells my mother that in these parts you have to use more than birth control pills, but everyone needs to wear a condom to prevent pregnancy. I came and sat down at the bar in between my parents and my mom turns to relay the information to me... I was so embarassed, I didn't want to talk about that with them,and with my dad sitting right next to me.. ugg.

Jeff didn't show up, our rooms were ready so someone shows us where we will be staying. It was so hot there.. my dream almost appears in brown due to the heat and sweat covering everyone. I changed into my swim suite and went to this huge above ground pool made out of glass. People would stand all the way around it to watch others jump from the high dive. People would jump from the high dive to cool off and to look at the others watching them outside the tank. I remember hitting the water, and the warm tap water wasn't refreshing at all. As my toes hit the bottom of the glass pool, I turned to push off to the top and saw Jeff on the outside, pressing his face against the glass to get my attention. In excitement I pushed off the bottom of the pool and on my way up I hit my head on the diving board base. I was knocked silly, and I opened my eyes and Jeff was carrying me to a place to lay me down. There were people all around me, looking at me and asking me if i was alright. I felt just fine now that I was back with Jeff. i was so glad that he showed up. He put an ice pack on the top of my head where it was sore.. and thats the last memory I had.

I woke up by Madeline jumping on me.

I'ts been a while since I rolled out of bed so I have already forgotten how my dream began, but I do remember being in my grandparents old house, it seemed to be Christmas time ... my parents were there, I think we were opening up gifts. I remember feeling the anxiousness of an early Christmas morning. My Uncle Jeff was there also.

Background on Jeff: He is my dad's youngest brother who is adopted. When I was in elementary school, he was beginning Highschool, and I used to want to marry him. He is now recently married to an amazing girl, and they live in Galveston, TX where he has been serving on the Police Force for 5-6 years now.

So I am laying on my side on an "L" shaped couch being propped up by a big pillow under my arm and Jeff comes over and sits on the other side of the L, near my head. The entire room silences.. and I get nervous because I dont' know whats going on. My mom has a huge grin on her face, my dad looks anxious and Jeff is starring so intensly into my face. He leans down on his elbows and moves his face so close to mine as he grabbs my hand. I swallow big and look back at him, to tell me whats going on. He begins by explaining that he has always loved me, always thought that I would be the one to make him happy. I am starting to freak out inside, I can't belive this is happening. He talks for a long time and asks me to marry him! In my head I can't come up with an answer.... I start thinking about how I always thought it would be someone that I meet after I graduated, someone in Austin, I planned to marry a Longhorn! I saw in my parents eyes that the time they had given me to find a mate was running out, and they approved of Jeff and I, thinking that this was my last hope. I too was worried that I wouldn't find anyone else who would marry me, so I turned to Jeff and told him this.

"I am just now 21, you have already experienced all the fun of the early 20's, there is so much more that I want to experience and do."

He agreed that he has already been there, done that.. but can show me the mistakes he made, and still fill my life with fun. I asked him about his previous relationship (refering to his current wife) and he told me

"ohhh, lets not talk about that, its over and done with. All I want to think about is how happy our lives can be together."