By B-chan
The two massive armies clashed together on the soft, manicured California grass in front of the CD Comics Headquarters. The android troops of the DC Marketing Taskforce tried to make the girls run away in terror by taking off their flesh masks and wigs, and those that fled were quickly caught and brainwashed. Drill Sergeant Lorichan ran among her trained troops, shouting orders and encouragement while the other members of the Command staff focused their energies on reclaiming the captured girls. Head Nurse Mamasherz used her skills to rid the girls of their brainwashing by showing them raunchy yaoi pictures drawn by Rokugatsu. They were instantly cured, and rose again to help push the android Taskforce back.
The FGA used their own natural weapons against the android Taskforce. The smacked, kicked, bit, screamed, and clawed out the delicate eyes of the androids, finishing them off by smashing in their metal heads with their favorite manga.
Nobaku took on an entire flank on her own, blowing all of them to kingdom come with a massive barrage of bombs, grenades, and other booming ordinance. She danced a little and laughed, burning their metal frames with a gleeful chant of �Flamey Fiery Death! Yea!�
The Raven stopped his charge right in front of Commander Soap, holstering his sidearm and going into a gunslinger�s stance. The Commander mirrored him, flipping back his trench coat to reveal a long-barreled revolver, gleaming silver in the sun.
�Your reign of terror ends now, Commander Soap,� the Raven said carefully, smiling viciously.
�I seriously doubt that, my feathery little friend,� the Commander replied. �I know of your history. I know your moves.�
They moved at the same instant, both hands flashing with speeds barely even perceptible by the naked human eye towards their hips, and two shots rang out almost simultaneously.
They both stood there a moment, glaring with twin furies. The world seemed grind to a complete stop for a moment, all sound seeming to die around the two men as they waiting, not moving. Then the Commander smiled evilly, straightening.
�Your profile says you always shoot to the left breast to avoid hitting the heart. Says you don�t like to kill people. All I had to do was compensate for it�� his voice broke off and he stumbled, falling onto his back and staring at the blue sky as motor oil blood spread out across the right side of his breast.
The Raven stepped up beside the fallen android Commander, his eyes remorseless and hard. His voice was soft, clipped. �But you�re an android, not a person. I don�t mind destroying you.�
The Commander�s eyes flashed once, and then he went still. The Raven stared down at him for a moment, then turned and ran back towards the battle.
Librarian B-chan, General Drazz, and Rokugatsu all charged through the front ranks, their legs pumping in unison. The Special Agent swept the startled androids aside with her battle staff, clearing a straight path to the wide glass doors. Together they shoved open the glass panels, knocking them off their hinges.
They flowed through the halls like water on glass, knocking all personnel aside. Librarian B-chan kept one eye on the hallway in front of her, and the other on the wristband computer wound around her left arm. It showed a schematic for the entire building, which the Raven had been kind enough to upload to her computer before they parachuted down from the roof. The schematic laid out the entire building, revealing the special elevator in the broom closet off the main lobby. It was the only elevator that could reach the penthouse office of the President, and could only be accessed by scanning specific DNA. Lacking such DNA, Librarian B-chan was betting she could hotwire it in less than five minutes.
They flew through the lobby, skidding to a stop in front of the broom closet. Librarian B-chan ripped a raised panel off the wall, exposing a multitude of wires and cables, which she buried her hands in.
�Just keep them off me for a few minutes,� she barked at the couple.
They turned as one, in perfect unison, readying their weapons. Android security guards, numbering upwards of twenty, charged through the lobby towards them. The air seemed to crackle around Rokugatsu, her hair standing on end a little as she brought up her hands.
�ACID INK SPILL!� she screamed, spinning in a circle and stopping in a perfect Magical Girl Pose, pointing her right hand at the front line of oncoming guards.
Black Indian ink spilled forth from her fingers, splashing copiously onto their metal frames, which instantly began to melt the limbs from their bodies. Those hit fell swiftly, but the rest continued their relentless charge, fear not being one of their protocols.
General Drazz clenched his fists, reaching inside his camo vest for several handfuls of printer paper. He crouched forward, throwing the papers into the air and striking a Power Gathering Pose. The gravity around Drazz increased, lowering the papers and sharpening their edges to razors. He threw his fists towards the guards, his clothes flapping in the wind created by his battle aura.
�RAZOR PAPER STRIKE!� he shouted.
The sheets of paper shot towards the androids at a shocking speed, slicing through their joints and bodies like hot knifes through butter. The broken pieces clattered uselessly to the ground, and the couple grinned at each other. Librarian B-chan whooped triumphantly as the door to the elevator slid open. They all three rushed inside, the door sliding shut just before the next set of guards charged into the room. Drazz flipped them off just as the door shut.
Librarian B-chan laughed, �You two haven�t changed at all, you know that?�
They stared at her blankly.
�In all the years I�ve known you two troublemakers, you never seem to change. Drazz is still a cheerful lecher, and Rokugatsu is still an overbearing, violent witch. Yet,� she paused here, flashing them both a grin, �when you two shine together, there is NOTHING you seem to fail to accomplish.�
The couple looked into each other�s eyes for a long moment then embraced tenderly with one arm before holding out their free arms for Librarian B-chan to walk into, joining them. They hugged tightly, and Rokugatsu whispered, �Thanks for the pep talk, you irresistible moron, but we�re not going to die in this den of sin.�
Laura chuckled, squeezing them both a little tighter, speaking softly. �You aren�t allowed to die, guys. You still need to print the next book.�
Drazz muttered, �Can we go fight someone now? Two women in my arms is just too good� it makes my pants hurt.�
And he was promptly slugged in each shoulder as the elevator continued its slow climb.
Inside her posh and stately office, the President of DC Comics sat pale in her padded desk chair, her hands trembling. Her Vice President stood at the window, watching the battle.
His voice broke the nervous silence harshly, causing the President to jump slightly. �The Taskforce is all but destroyed, ma�am. We�ll have to send for Gates to restock us, and upgrade the androids.�
The President nodded helplessly. He turned to look at her pale face, and sighed. �Whoever thought a few little changes could cause so much trouble?�
The door to the office was kicked open, and General Drazz strode into the room, flanked by Rokugatsu and Librarian B-chan. �You should have thought of that before making a mockery of our beloved manga!�
He stopped before her desk, folding his arms and glaring down at her. She glared back, snapping, �But it�s what the American public demands!�
Thus was the final, terrible battle begun.
Outside, the members of the FGA stood clumped together leaning on one another for support and comfort, escaping the battle adrenaline. The Command staff hurried back and forth between the anxious groups of girls, offering reassurance and comfort. Karasu, the Raven, stood at the front of the pack, watching the doors anxiously. He did not even jump when a hand fell on his shoulder, but he did turn his eyes to glance at Nobaku.
�Don�t worry� she�ll be all right, I�m sure of it. From what Drazz and Rokugatsu tell me about her, I�m sure that she�s enjoying herself right now.�
He smirked at her a little, giving her a quick nod of gratitude. He straightened as the three figures stepped from the building and strode purposefully across the scorched grass.
Drazz had an arm around Rokugatsu and Librarian B-chan, almost for comfort more than support. His face was haggard and worn, and neither woman smiled. Karasu and Nobaku rushed towards them, their faces anxious and worried. Behind them, the gathered FGA members fell silent, waiting for word from their General.
He left the protective circle of the two women�s arms, stepping forward gravely to face his troops. They had followed him across the country, from state to state, from store to store. Now, his voice was strong as he addressed them.
�Ladies, you are the finest troops I have ever had the privilege and honor to serve with. You are a credit to our society, and to our glorious cause. You have fought valiantly, and have made me very proud.�
He fell into a deep, frightening silence, closing his eyes, almost as if gathering his strength. Then his eyes flashed open, and he struck a cocky stance, grinning fiercely, giving them all a thumbs-up.
�WE BEAT THEM!�
The ground shook with the screams of triumph from the members of the FGA as they surged forward, all trying to hug the General at the same time. They danced, and screamed, and danced and screamed some more in their joy. Handfuls of confetti were thrown into the air. Rokugatsu and Nobaku ran to join the throng, accepting their own hugs and kisses and snuggles.
Karasu and Laura stood back from the mass of screaming women, smiling softly, watching them celebrate. They did not mind that they had been forgotten. It was the typical thing to do, and besides, they were not really members of this army. This was their time, their victory, more than theirs.
Karasu grinned over at her, taking her hand gently. �I do hope you got to play a little up there,� he said softly, brushing back a strand of her hair.
She chuckled, squeezing his hand gently. �There was a point where the Vice President called the guards. They tried to break into the meeting room during the negotiations, but they were far too simple to take care of. Metal guards make such nice smashing noises.�
He laughed as they turned and walked towards the street, where a shiny black convertible sat waiting for them.
�Where do you two think you�re going?� a voice behind them said softly.
They turned to look at Drazz and Rokugatsu as they came up behind them. Laura spoke softly, grinning. �We have a beach waiting for us further south. I for one am anxious to get back to it.�
Drazz stepped forward and shook Karasu�s hand warmly, and pressed a kiss on Laura�s cheek. �I�m going to be calling your superior, you two. We have need of some professional event control personnel. We�ll be asking for you both, specifically.�
Laura and Karasu grinned at him, nodding. Laura hugged Drazz and Rokugatsu tightly before jumping into the passenger seat of the car, Karasu already behind the wheel. The Townsends watched, waving, as the two top agents of the United States Calamity Taskforce sped off into the sunset, towards blue water and their next mission.