When TV shows go wrong....like, totally haywire.Disclaimer: I don't own Mozenrath, Aladdin or any other Disney characters featured here. I do of course own Princess Jayde. Half this belongs to my darling friend Jasmine, so half the credit to her. It's up, sis! BTW guys, don't try fitting this in with the plot of Mixing Sands. It just won't fit. Square peg in a round hole! |
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Mozenrath: What are you talking about? What do you mean, I'm not supposed to be a cute bad guy? Director: Well, What im saying is... that we have an appiotment for you to get your nose bigger and your hair cut short, and we want you to be fatter! Mozenrath: WHAT?! I am not going to be fat with a bigger nose than what i alreday have, plus cutting off my beautiful hair!!! You see this hair? It's beautiful, isn't it? Isn't it? Director: Well, uh... Mozenrath, you have beautiful hair! *under breath* Not! Ahem, Mozenrath, don't get so upset about this! It's your key to stardom. Lots of stars are ugly. Mozenrath: What about my fans? I can't do this to them! Director: Well, You're doing it. *Jasmine appears.* Jasmine: I'm sorry, but if I have to work with Mozenrath, he might as well be cute, ok? Because otherwise, I quit! *Jasmine exits.* Mozenrath: What was that all about? Director: *Shrugs* Mozenrath: Well, back to the matter. It's not happening and if I have to do that to be on this show, then I quit! *Slams the door shut* *Outside...* Jasmine: You quit too? Mozenrath: Yeah. Jasmine: Sooo... do you wanna go celebrate? Mozenrath: Sure! Jasmine: Ok. You like coffee? My treat! *A month later* Aladdin: What?!? You're pregnant with Mozenrath's child? Jasmine: Well now A, I'm happy with him, you know? Aladdin: But you're pregnant with Mozenraths child! *Mozenrath walks in.* Mozenrath: I know and it was so much fun too! Wasnt it honey? Jasmine: Very much! Mozenrath: Oh yes and Al, buddy, Me and Jas are getting married since, you know, this baby is coming and we both feel it's best to be married when the baby comes. It's in one month, the marriage, and you're invited, so heres your invite! ok? Well, I've thought about it and I think it's best if you are my best man! Al: What?! No way, I am NOT gonna be the best man at my girlfriends wedding when im not the husband!!! Mozenrath: You wouldn't be best man if you WERE the husband, now would you? Jasmine: *Starts to cry fakely.* Al: *Watches her cry and is stupid enough to believe its rea.l* Oh Jas, if you really want me to be the best man, I will! ok? Jas? I'll be the best man! Mozenrath: Ok, well I'll see ya, Al. I'll update you later on the wedding info. Goodbye! Jasmine: Is he gone? Mozenrath: Yeah. Jasmine: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! Sucker! Of course, we really are getting married, just he's not coming! Mozenrath: HAHAHAHAHAHA! *The wedding night* *It's all shadowy and dark in the alley near where Jas and moze are getting married* Mozenrath: Just a sec, Jasmine, I'm really busting. I'll just go into this dark and shadowey alley. Jasmine: Okay honey. Mozenrath: "Yeah, uh, so dont come looking for me, Ok? I'll show up, uh... sometime during the wedding!" Jasmine: "Oh, Ok!" *Moze goes into the alley* Aladdin: *Steps out of a dustbin* Suprise suprise, wife stealer... Mozenreth: Feh, what do I care about you trying to attack me. *Blasts him with the gauntlet.* *Aladdin dodges the blast.* Al: You know, Moze, it's not nice to steal wives. Now you wouldn't want to pick that up, would you? Mozenrath: Ah, dear Al, that's why I do that I'm evil. Thats evil, you know. It's just my thing! I'm also pretty good at ripping nice dresses. Al: Well the least you could have done was steal someone elses wife! Mozenrath: It's a collectors set. *Blasts him.* Al: No, you dont deserve her! Mozenrath: *Cracks up laughing in that evil maniacal way.* No no, Al. YOU don't deserve her, so go AWAY! *Blasts him for the last time.* Al: *Lays on the floor, unconcious.* *Jasmine appears.* Mozenrath: Hey darling . Jasmine: Hey honey, you were gone for so long! Mozenrath: I had some business to take care of. Jasmine: Were you trying to kill Al again? Mozenrath: Now why would I do that? *Smiles a toothy grin.* Jasmine: Uh huh! You were, weren't you? Come on, tell the truth! Mozenrath: Ummm... uh, no? Jasmine: *Scoffs.* Mozenrath: No really, I wasn't! Jasmine: Ok, whatever! Mozenrath: No, really Jas, listen! Jasmine: I said whatever, Moze! Both: *keeps arguing about it* *After a while.* Jas: If you're going to be like that... Moze: But really honey- Jas: Not telling me when you try to kill Aladdin and *rararara* then I'm going to have to go back to Aladdin. Moze: See if I care. *Jayde suddenly appears, so Moze takes her by the arm and walks off.* Jayde: Oh, Hi Jas! Hows life- *She is cut off by Moze dragging her away. Jayde: So, where have you been? Moze: Uh, with Jasmine, duh. Oh, shit. Did i say that out loud? I meant, uh... trying to kill Al! Heh heh! Jayde: Thats it! OUT! Moze: Now wait a sec Jayde, honey baby, please? Fine! Be that way, I'll just go back to Jas. I'll just ask her! Jayde: Dude, she'll say no, I've half a mind to chain you up in the citadel dungeon for a couple of years. *Back at Jasmine's place.* Moze: So Jas, will you take me back? Jas: Hmmm, let me think...*Thinking.*...ummm, well, you've begged and begged, and I am having your baby. Will you kill Al, so it looks like theres a reason for me to leave him? Moze: Sure yeah whatever, it's on my to-do list anyway! Jas: Okay then. The wedding's on for in two weeks! Mozenrath: Hey.... Sadira, howz it goin? Sadira: Cool... so, you still playing those two royal chicks? Moze: Yeah, honey, but you know you're the only one for me, really. *Sadira on the phone later.* Sadira: Of course, Al. What do you expect me to do... just leave him? He'd kill me! Al: Well, just get rid of him, kill him dissappear, something! Just get him away and then me and you can get far away! Jas: I heard that! Al: OH SHOOT! WE'RE BUSTED! Jas: Sadira, I'm telling Mozenrath and he is not going to be happy!!! Sadira: Fine, tell him. I dont care, I've got your man! Jas: Well, I have yours!!! Moze: Hi kids, how are you? I'm fine but all of you are not going to be so fine in a few seconds! Sadira: Moze baby? I can explain! Mozenrath: Yes HONEY, please explain! (For you Aussies, don't he sound just like Pauline Hanson?) Sadira: Well you see this and he and that and it's just and yeah! Mozenrath: Ok, well me and Jas are going to go see my wife and settle this once and for all. I'm getting tired of it! Jas: Yeah, lets go! *Back at Jaydes place (in the palace, not the citadel)* Mozenrath: Ok, me and Jayde have been together while I was with you, Jas. Jas: What?! Jayde: Huh?! Wait a sec, I thought you said you dumped her?!!! Mozenrath: I did... for a three minute period! Jas: Ok, so you think that we're just gonna let you have TWO girlfriends, and come crawling back to you? Mozenrath: Well...yeah... pretty much! *Wack!* *Mozenrath rubs his cheek* Mozenrath: Jayde... baby? *Wack!* *Mozenrath rubs both of his cheeks* Mozenrath: Man! That hurts!!! *Mozenrath looks in his new book about women, "How to Understand What Women are Saying Through Their Actions." He looks at a page, begins to read and grins a very toothy grin.* Mozenrath: Oh... I get it! I'll be there in a second. Let me go wash up! *Wink, wink.* Moze talking to genie: Man, this is going to be so great. *He goes into graphic detail.* Genie: Are you sure? That doesn't sound like Jasmine at all, not Jayde either. I don't think you have a chance, buddy. Moze: Heh, for me, they'll do anything. Check this book out- I'll tell you what they did too... Meanwhile Jayde and Jas are plotting. Jas: Augh! he makes me soo mad! Jayde: I just wanna publicly humiliate him. Jas: I think there is a way... If you'll agree to it. *Jasmine whispers something in Jayde's ear* Jayde: Omigoodness, that's great. Jas: Yeah, and after we've got him certain that he's gonna get what he wants... we blindfold him... lead him outside Jayde: And tell him to strip! I love it! Jayde: Oh Mozy! Moze: Well hello, ladies. Jasmine: Hello baby. Jasmine: Mozey baby, we've been thinking. It's wrong for us to fight. There's enough of you for the both of us, so... we have a surprise for you! Moze: Oh, I'm sure you do! Jayde: Yes, but you have to be blind folded first! *Puts a blindfold over mozenrath's eyes.* Moze: Oh, a game, ok! Jasmine: Ok now, walk keep walking keep on going. Jayde: Ok, now you can*Is interrupted by a familiar voice to Jayde but not to Jasmine.* Darius: Well hello girls. Jasmine: Who the heck is he? Jayde: *Elbows Jasmine.* Thats Moze's bro. Jasmine: Oooohhhhh! Jayde to Darius: *Whisper whisper whisper.* Darius: *Winks* Oh, you're going to what? Moze, you sure are a lucky man... Moze: Yes, yes I am, now get lost. Darius: I don't think I will... Suddenly, Krys walks in. *Warning, spoiler for the fic.* Krys: Darius, honey? You said you'd fix the plumbing in the cottage. (yes, she may be a powerful sorceress, but she's still no good at leaky taps.) Darius: Be there in a minute, babe. You just head back now and I'll get right on it soon. Krys: Okay... *leaves* Darius: I'm... just going to have to leave now... good luck girls... good... uh... luck moze. *Darius follows Krys.* Mozenrath is now suspicious, until he hears Jasmine and Jayde giggle. He smiles expectantly. They finish walking. Jayde: Now mozenrath... strip. Jas: Slowly. Jayde: But don't take off your blindfold until you're finished. We'll have a suprise for you then. |