smart man+smart woman=romance
smart man +dumb woman=affair
dumb man+smart woman=marriage
dumb man+dumb woman=pregnancy
a man will pay$2 for a $1 item he needs
a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt need
general equations&statictics
a woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife
a successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
a successful woman is one who can find such a man
happiness
to be happy with a man,u must understand him alot and love him a little
longevity
married men live longer than single men,but married men are a lot more willing to die
propensity to change
a woman marries a man expecting he will change,but he doesnt.a man marries a woman expecting that she wont change,and she does
discussion techniques
the woman has the last word in a argument
anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument
how to stop people from bugging u about getting married
old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,poking me &telling me im next!they stoped when i started doing the same thing to them at funerals
THE RULES
1.THE FEMALE ALWAYS MAKES THE RULES
2.THE RULES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE AT ANYTIME WITHOUT PRIOR NOTIFICATION
3.THE FEMALE CAN CHANGE HER MIND AT ANY GIVEN POINT&TIME
4.THE MALE MUST NEVER CHANGE HIS MIND WITHOUT WRITTEN CONTRACT
FROM THE FEMALE
5.THE FEMALE IS NEVER WRONG
6.IF THE FEMALE IS WRONG IT IS A FLAGRANT MISUNDERSTANDING WHICH WAS A DIRECT RESULT OF SOMETHING THE MALE DID OR SAID WRONG
7.IF RULE#6 APPLY THE MALE MUST APOLOGIZE IMMEDIATELY FOR CAUSING THE MISUNDERSTANDING
8.THE FEMALE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE UPSET ANYTIME
9.THE MALE MUST REMAIN CALM AT ALL TIMES UNLESS THE FEMALE WANTS HIM TO BE UPSET OR ANGRY
10.ANY ATTEMPT TO DOCUMENT THIS RULE CAN RESULT IN BODILY HARM
11.IF THE FEMALE HAS PMS ALL RULES ARE NULL&VOID
12.THE MALE CANNOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE DIAGNOISE PMS
BYE JENNIFER REEVE
THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO A COP!
1.I CANT REACH MY LICENSE UNLESS U HOLD MY BEER
2.SOORY,OFFICER I DIDNT REALIZE MY RADAR DETECTOR WASNT ON
3.ARE U THAT GUY FROM THE VILLAGE PEOPLE?
4.HEY U MUST HAVE BEEN DOING 125 TO KEEP UP WITH ME!
5.ARE U ANDY OR BARNEY/
6.I THOUGHT U HAD TO BE IN SHAPE TO BE A POLICE OFFICER?
7.YOUR NOT GONNA CHECK THE TRUNK ARE U?
8.I PAY YOUR SALARY
9.YEAH THATS GREAT THE LAST OFFICER ONLY GAVE ME A WARNING TO
10.HEY DO U KNOW WHY U PULLED ME OVER?OK JUST THOUGHT ONE OF US SHOULD KNOW