2.always id the people in your yard b4 shooting at them
3.its considered tacky to take a cooler to church
4.if u have to vacuum the bed its time to change the sheets
5.even if your certain that u are included in the will its still considered tacky to drive a u-haul to the funeral home
entertaining your guests
a centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist
do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are
personal hygiene
1.proper use of trioletties can forestall a bathing for several days,however if u live alone,deoderant is a waist of money
2.dirt and grease under your fingenails is a social nono as they tend to detract from a womans jewelry and alter the taste of her finger foods
theatre etiquette
1.crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immedately after the movie
2.dont talk to the screen tests have proven they cant hear u
weddings
1.livestock is usualy a poor chioce of a wedding gift
2. kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get u shot
3.for the groom at least rent a tux a liesure suit cumberund and a clean bowlig shirt can create a tacky appearance
driving etiquette
1.dim your headlights for approaching vechiles,even if the gun is loaded and the deer isin sight
2.when approaching a 4 way stop the car with bigger tiers always have the right of way
3. when sending your wife down the street with gas can its impolite to ask her to bring back more adult beverages
4. do not burn ruber while traveling in a funeral procession
you might be a redneck if....
u like to brage u knew how to fire a shotgun b4 u knew how to walk
u check mileage on your home
directions to your house include turn off the paved road
if u have to go outside to get something from your fridge
u do all your shopping at a truck stop
if your mom has stocked up on ammo
u cant marry your sweetheart because theres a law against it
if your belt buckle is bigger than your head
u go to your family reunion to meet women
if u consider your fifth grade your senior year
if u mow your grass and find 3 cars