WHAT THE DIFFERENCE A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND? 45 LBS
WHATS THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?NUDITY
WHY DO MEN WANT TO MARRY VIRGINS?THEY CANT STAND CRITICISM
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NEW HUSBAND AND A NEW DOG?AFTER A YEAR THE DOG IS STILL EXCITED TO SEE U
WHAT MAKES MEN CHASE AFTER WOMEN THEY DONT HAVE ANY INTENTION ON MARRYING?THE SAME THING THAT MAKES DOGS CHASE CARS THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF DRIVING
WHAT DO U CALL A SMART BLOND?A GOLDEN RETRIEVER
A BRUNETTE,A BLOND,AND A REDHEAD ARE ALL IN THE 3RD GRADE,WHO HAS THE BIGGEST BOOBS?THE BLOND B/C SHES 18
HOW DO U KNOW WHEN YOUR LEADING A PATHETIC LIFE?WHEN A NYMPHOMANIAC TELL U LETS JUST BE FRIENDS
MOMS HAVE MOTHERS DAY,FATHERS HAVE FATHERS DAY,WHAT DO SINGLE GUYS HAVE?PALM SUNDAY
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PORCUPINE AND A BMW?A PORCUPINE HAS PRICKS ON THE OUTSIDE
WHAT DID THE BLOND SAY WHEN SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT?ARE U SURE ITS MINE!?
WHY MEN CAN NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT?BREAST DONT HAVE EYES
POLITICALLY CORRECT STATEMENTS
YOUR BEDROOM ISNT CLUTTERED ITS JUST PAAGE RESTRICTIVE
KIDS DONT GET GROUNDED ANYMORE THEY ARE HIT WITH SOCIAL SPEEDBUMPS
YOUR NOT LATE U JUST HAVE RESCHEDULED ARRIVAL TIME
YOUR NOT HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY YOUR SUFFERING FROM REBILIOUS FOLLICLE SYNDROME
YOUR NOT TALL YOUR VERTICALLY ENHANCED
YOUR NOT SHY YOUR CONVERSATIONALLY SELECTIVE
ITS NOT GOSSIP ITS SPEEDY TRANSMISSION OF NEAR FACTUAL INFORMATION
U DONT FAIL U R MERELY PASSING IMPAIRED
YOUR LOCKER ISNT OVERFLOWING WITH JUNK ITS CLOSURE PROHIBITED
5 secrets of a perfect relationship
1-it is important to find a man who helps at home,who cooks from time to time,
2.-it is important to find a man who makes u lauagh
3.it is important to find a man who u can trust and who doesnt lie to u
4.it is important to find a man who is good in bed and who likes to be with u
5.-it is very important that these four men dont know about eachother!
inner strength
if u can start the day without caffeine or pep pills
if u can be cheerful,ignoring aches and pains
if u can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles
if u can eat the same food everyday and be greatful for it
if u can understand when loved ones are too busy to pay attention
if u can overlook when people take things out on u when through no fault of yours,something goes wrong
if u can take criticism and blame without resentment
if u can face the world without lies&deciet
if u can conquer tension without medical help
if u can relax without liquor
if u can sleep without the aid of drugs
if u can do all this then...
your probably the family dog
quotes
1.the sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette
2.some people are only alive b/c its illegal to kill them
3.dont take life too seriously u wont get out alive
4.beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
5.eart is the insane asylum for the iniverse
6.i dont have to be dead to donate my organs
7.god must love stupid people he made so many of them
8.i took an iq test and the results were negative
9.ever stop to think and forget to start again
10.i must be a proctologist b/c i work with assholes
11. wrinkled was not one of the things i wanted to be when i grew up
12.party my crib 2 am one baby size shirt
13.finally 21 and legally able to do everything ive been doing since i was 15