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| Letter to a Friend | ||||||||||||
| By: Amber Nicole Richards | ||||||||||||
| The following is a letter that I wrote to a friend of mine to share the secret part of my life with her. The names have been changed to protect the innocent and any resemblance that this letter bears to someone else's real life is purely coincidental. | ||||||||||||
| Hi Courtney, | ||||||||||||
| This may come to you as a little unexpected, or perhaps even overdue, but in any event I felt I needed to send you a letter. I hope it's not too impersonal but I find that this is the easiest way to say what I want to say without getting lost and forgetting some key points. We have been spending quite a bit of time together by virtue of Ted and Sarah, and I don't know if we'll ever be more than friends, but there is something about me that I feel you need to know. Please bear with me, I usually find the longest most roundabout way to get to what I am trying to say. | ||||||||||||
| There are quite a few things that I would like to explain about myself, but one thing in particular prompted me to write this letter and several other letters just like it to my family and closest friends in the past. I don't know if Sarah has talked to you about it yet, but I'm pretty sure she hasn't, so let me just get to the point... I am a Transvestite. No, seriously, I am. Unfortunately, I'm not using my twisted sense of humor to try to make you laugh. I am a Transvestite, or some people are more comfortable with the term Crossdresser. It sounds less clinical, but it essentially means the same thing, I am a man who enjoys wearing women's clothing. | ||||||||||||
| Let's hit the big questions first: | ||||||||||||
| (1) "So, does that mean you're gay?" | ||||||||||||
| No, I am not gay. I am however bisexual. Some people would argue that that means I am gay, but attraction is a fickle thing. I am secure enough in who and what I am to admit that I have been attracted to both men and women and have enjoyed sex with both as well. I honestly believe that more people could and would enrich their lives by opening their minds and hearts to the possibility of genderless attraction. I, personally, am attracted to femininity, particularly feminine women. I have a very deep appreciation for women and often feel more comfortable around them than I ever did with other guys. I use the word "femininity" as a broad term to encompass a myriad of qualities that I look for in a person, such as sensitivity, compassion, humor, open-mindedness, and most importantly, an undeniably fervor for shopping. | ||||||||||||
| (2) "Do you want to get a sex change?" | ||||||||||||
| No, I am happy with my body the way it is and I'm perfectly happy being a man. I just like to feel like a woman sometimes too. If you would have asked me that question a couple of years ago, I might not have been so quick to answer. For a long time I thought I would be happier and my life would be easier if I were to become a woman. It's a very confusing and difficult thing to grow up with, thinking that you may have been born with the wrong body, and I've felt this way for as long as I can remember, but maturity has brought me a level of understanding and acceptance of myself. Now I only wish to enjoy that same acceptance from those around me. | ||||||||||||
| I can't explain why I like the things I do, but we can't choose the things we like. This might sound silly at first, but if you think about it we really don't have any power over the things we like. We just like what we like, and I am not afraid to admit the things I like are traditionally considered feminine. My favorite color is pink, but I like most pastels. I love makeup and long fingernails, and have an artistic appreciation for both when they are applied well. I love the feel of long hair along the sides of my face and on my neck and shoulders. Dresses and skirts are so much more fun and comfortable than pants, and while definitely not more comfortable, I absolutely love to wear high-heel shoes. I collect unicorns and Pegasus, porcelain dolls, silk flowers, and formal gowns. You will undoubtedly think this is silly, but I own 3 wedding gowns that I will sometimes wear around the house, just because I love the way I feel when I wear them. (The ultimate feminine high). My mom says that she wishes she could wear stuff like that more often, and it just occurred to me, I wonder if real girls have the urge to put on a wedding dress and wear it around the house just because they love the way they feel when they wear it. Like, would they do it if no one was home? | ||||||||||||
| I think the thing that confuses people the most is that I like to go out in public and be seen dressed as a woman. A lot of people seem to think, "Whatever you do behind closed doors is your business, but you have no right to wear that stuff out in public!" Well, why not? What is so bad about it really? I am not harming anyone. I am not forcing my ideas or way of life on anyone. I simply want to be able to go out wearing what feels most comfortable to me and not be hassled about it. I'm not trying to confuse anyone, or deceive them, or trick them into thinking I'm really a woman (although it is incredibly flattering when they can't tell.) I just want to be left alone, to go about my business, whether it be shopping, sitting down for a meal, or enjoying a movie at the theater. Is that too much to ask? | ||||||||||||
| Well, I managed to ramble on for quite a while, but I hope I answered some of the questions that undoubtedly popped into your head. I'm sure there are many more that I didn't answer, and I hope you're not too weirded out by this to talk to me about it. I'll be more than happy to honestly answer any question you've got for me. | ||||||||||||
| Talk to you soon, | ||||||||||||
| Amber | ||||||||||||