Ayako-fied T-Dogg
Alright. Disclaimer. I didn't write this play. If you're young and you read this and then tell your parents that I write smut and stuff, don't try and blame it on me. You've been SO warned. Thanks. On with the show.
T. S. Eliot (great poet, heart him) said about this play, "one of the stupidest and most uninspired plays ever written." It is just in general really, really creepy. At the outset, there are two different factions. Saturnius is the head of the rich people, and Bassanius is the head of the masses. They're fighting over who gets to be the new Emperor of Rome. Marcus Andronicus, Titus' brother, talks about how Titus is coming back from the war soon. And, lo and behold, in comes Titus. Whee!
He comes back with 25 sons, who died in some stupid attack or other against the Goths. They have in custody Tamora, queen of the Goths, and her three sons, Alarbus, Chiron & Demetrius. Alarbus is killed by Titus' remaining sons as soon as he appears, for vengance on behalf of their dead brothers.
There are a ton of characters in this play, so a brief chart on the more confusing ones:
Lucius, Quintus, Martius & Mutus: Titus' sons
Marcus: Titus' brother, tribune (like an American senator)
Publius: Marcus' son
Sempronius, Caius & Valentine: people related to Titus
That help any? I didn't think so. Well, anyway. Just try and read it with a little reference at hand or something. After that, Titus says that he thinks Saturnius should be new Emperor of Rome, and so it is. He's powerful like that. Saturnius then says that he wants Lavinia, Titus' daughter, to be his Empress. She kinda doesn't want to do this, since she's in love with Bassanius. Lavinia & Bassanius run away together. All of Lavinia's brothers try and help them escape. Titus stabs Mutius when he gets in his way. Saturnius then decides that maybe Lavinia is too much trouble and 'settles' for Tamora. Tamora then swears to bring Titus to ruin, because he killed her son. Heartwrenching.
At this point, we have Aaron, Tamora's black servant/lover telling us stuff. Isn't he cute. Aw. Demetrius and Chiron decide that they're going to rape Lavinia, because they want her and they'll never have her any other way. Then, we cut to a scene with everybody hunting in the forest. Hmm.
Then, Aaron's all by himself, burying gold under a tree. Tamora comes on the scene while he's doing this, and they start... doing whatever. Bassanius & Lavinia then come upon them and start making fun. Then, Chiron & Demetrius come on the scene. They stab Bassanius at Tamora's urging, to show how manly they are. Now, that's Freudian, if I ever heard it. Or something like that. Anyway, after that, Lavinia begs to Tamora to help her, but Tamora won't have that. Demetrius & Chiron drag away Bassanius' body and cover it with twigs or something. Then, Martius & Quintus (2 of Titus' sons) come upon him, and fall into a hole nearby and can't make it out. The hunting party then comes upon them, and it seems obvious that they (Titus' sons x2) killed Bassanius. They're led away for their 'trial'. Then, Marcus (Titus' brother) finds Lavinia-post D & C. She's obviously been raped. Her hands are cut off, and her tongue is cut out, so she can't implicate the guilty party.
Titus starts going a little crazy.
Aaron then comes over and tells Titus he can see his sons if Saturnine gets Titus' hand. So Titus has Aaron cut his hand off with an axe. Aaron is a man of his word, and Titus gets to see his sons again. Well, their heads, anyway.
Lavinia finally communicates what happened to her, first by pointing out a story in Ovid (Philomena) with her stumpy stumps, and then using her stumps and like... her head or something... to write out with a big stick in the sand Demetrius & Chiron's names. Then, we have a cute little discussion between Aaron & a nurse, where the nurse tells Aaron that the queen has given birth to a black son, so they have to kill it, and then Aaron stabs her. Cute. Aaron decides to run away with the baby so he doesn't have to kill it. There's a lot of back & forthing for a while. Aaron is caught, eventually, by Lucius. Aaron makes Lucius swear to take care of the baby, no matter what, and he does.
By now, Tamora's a little nutty, too. She dresses up like 'Revenge,' with her sons, 'Rape' (Demetrius) and 'Murder' (Chiron). Titus invites them all for dinner, and insists that Rape and Murder pass the time with him while Revenge goes to freshen up or something like that. He takes them in and slits their throats. Out of their bodies, he makes meat pies, which he serves to all at the consequent feast. Titus kills Lavinia because of historical pretext which Saturninus (who's at the feast) happens to agree with. He then lets Tamora know that her sons are the pies by revealing their heads, and then he kills Tamora. Saturnius kills Titus. Lucius kills Saturnius. The end.
Suggested Listening: Janie's Got a Gun - Aerosmith, Mars - Gustav Holst, Mob Song - Beauty & the Beast Soundtrack.