So in Hamlet, there are a few main characters. The main main character is (duh) Hamlet. He's mad because his uncle *apparently* killed his (meaning Hamlet's) father in order to claim the throne as reagent or something, as well as to marry Hamlet's mother. I think that young Hamlet is rather well justified in being upset, don't you? Well, anyway, things heat up when his friends, including his best friend Horatio, see the ghost of Hamlet's father wandering the moors, apparently looking for revenge.
So then we get hitched into this stupid little subplot involving Hamlet's girl... something, something, blah blah, Ophelia. See, Ophelia really likes Hamlet. Her brother and father, though, are convinced that the poor guy is an absolute loon It's really your own judgement as to whether he is or not, but I think he's crazy like a fox, meself. So, because she's a girl in the Elizabethian era, of course she goes along with her father's wishes and spurns Hamlet. Of course, after this, Hamlet gets depressed (AGAIN) and goes on with his 'To Be or Not to be" speech, which shows how he's contemplating suicide. When Ophelia walks in on his talking about this, she gets all concerned. When she does, Hamlet spurns her right back. In your face, Ophelia.
It's about this time, too, that Hamlet sees his father's ghost, which tells Hamlet to enact his (his father's) revenge on his (Hamlet's) mother and uncle. Hamlet agrees--but... HOW? This question is answered when Hamlet sees some clowns lounging around. Hamlet pays the actors to come to the palace and put on a play, wherein a guy kills the king to get with his wife. Nobody sees it as remarkable, which makes Hamlet depressed.
Again.
So then Hamlet confronts his mother about her relationship with his uncle. That part is actually kinda funny. He calls her old and stuff. Passive-agressive masterpiece. So anyway. So after Hamlet insults his mum, then he hears somebod behind a curtain in the room. Thinking that it's his uncle, he stabs the mystery person. Unfortunately for everybody, it's actually Ophelia's father, Polonius. At this point, Ophelia goes nuts and her brother comes back from France or some stupid place like that. Ophelia goes running around talking about killing things and flowers and virginity for a while, then goes and drowns herself. Hamlet and Laertes (Ophelia's brother) then fight over the right to be the head mourner. This fighting continues until a duel is arranged between the two. During this duel, the Queen drinks poisoned wine, Hamlet stabs his uncle, Laertes stabs Hamlet and Hamlet stabs Laertes. Then, everybody except Horatio dies, and Fortinbras, the King of Norway, comes and conquers Denmark without a fight.
Suggested listening:
"Superman" - Five for Fighting, "Baker, Baker" - Tori Amos (from Under the Pink), "Sorry" - Nerfherder
