**Disclaimer: I did not write the original work. I simplified the lines into 'modern' English, so that students can understand the plays better. I did no editorializing. This has MAJOR spoilers herein, considering it is just the play re-written. If you don't want the play to be spoiled, do NOT read this. I repeat. DO NOT READ THIS. In other words, I don't want to be sued. If I did anything that might make you think that I should be sued, I can assure you that I did NOT. This is not meant to be in stead of reading the works of my buddy Big Will, but in suppliment to, in case you get stuck. In any case, Shakespeare writes on many levels, and some things may be lost in the translation. Some mild adult language may be used. Lines that were not altered are in italics.
Act I, scene 1- a street in Rome.
Enter Flavius, Marullus, and a whole buncha citizens
Flav: From now on! go home, you people sitting around doing nothing, go home; Are you on vacation? What! Don't you know, being little more than machines, that you shouldn't walk on a day that you should work without carrying something that shows what you do?--You, there.... what do you do?
Citizen1: I'm a carpenter.
Mar: Where's the tools of your trade? Why do you have your best cloths on?--Hey, you! What do you do?
Citizen2: Well, I'm not that great at it, but I am a cobbler.
Mar: But what do you DO?
cit2 (cobbler): Well, I do my best to mend men's soles.
Flav: But what do you DO, you idiot? You wicked idiot, what do you do?
cob: oh, please don't be angry with me, sir... But, if you need mending, I can help you.
mar: what do you mean? Mend me, you forward idiot?
cob: Why, sir, cobble you.
flav: you're a cobbler, are you?
cob: Yes, sir. All that I do is with my awl. I don't worry about what merchants or women do, but I tend to save old shoes. When they need it, I resole them. The best men who've ever worn shoes have stepped on what I've done.
flav: But then why aren't you in your shop today? Why are you leading these people through the streets?
cob: Well, it's partly to make them wear out their shoes so that I can have more business (wink, wink, nudge, nudge say no more). But really, we're going to see Caesar in his triumph.
mar: Why are you rejoicing? What sort of conquest did he make? What sort of people does have have following him, bound as slaves? You people are absolute MORONS. You jerks, did you even know Pompey(1)? You used to climb up anything you could--sit on rooftops with your children in your arms--and sat there ALL FREAKING DAY to see Pompey go through the streets of Rome. Then, when he passed by, didn't you yell so loudly that you'd think the entire city would come down with the echo of it? And now you put on your best clothes. And now, you make a holiday. And now, you throw rose petals at the feet of somebody who goes forward solely on Pompey's blood. GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE! Run to your houses, fall upon your knees, pray to the gods that they won't strike you down here and now for being such total idiots.
flav: Go, you people, and because of this, you should go down to the banks of the river and cry into it until it overflows the banks.
[commoners exit]
See if the stupidest among them isn't going to change his tune now. They can't even speak, they feel so guilty. Let's go onto the top of that hill where that temple of victors is, and take whatever Caesar's followers put on statues of him off of them.
mar: You think we should? It is during the feast of Lupercal(2).
flav: Who cares? Don't let anything of Caesar's have things on it. I'll be around, chasing the commoners out of the streets. You do the same thing. All these things we're doing to Caesar will make him be a normal man, who otherwise would be above us all and make us all servants.
[they exit]
(1)Historical significance: Pompey shared rule with Caesar & Crassus. After the alligence with the three of them went bye-bye, Caesar defeated him. He was later assassinated. The victory the people are talking about is Caesar's political victory in election over Pompey's sons. That's why Marullus is so heated.
(2) More historical stuff: Lupercalia is a little holiday celebrated sometime in February. Basically, it's a holiday of great merry making and such, based on something about keeping the wolves away. It's the predecessor of Valentine's Day. (information from holidays.com
Summary: Marulles and Flavius are on Pompey's side. Caesar just won some sort of political victory, and the people like him a lot.
Vocabulary:
intermit (v): withold.
mettle (n): disposition or temperment.
replication (n): a reply, an answer. Used here to mean an echo.
servile (adj): slaveishly submissive.
Mar: Where's the tools of your trade? Why do you have your best cloths on?--Hey, you! What do you do?
Citizen2: Well, I'm not that great at it, but I am a cobbler.
Mar: But what do you DO?
cit2 (cobbler): Well, I do my best to mend men's soles.
Flav: But what do you DO, you idiot? You wicked idiot, what do you do?
cob: oh, please don't be angry with me, sir... But, if you need mending, I can help you.
mar: what do you mean? Mend me, you forward idiot?
cob: Why, sir, cobble you.
flav: you're a cobbler, are you?
cob: Yes, sir. All that I do is with my awl. I don't worry about what merchants or women do, but I tend to save old shoes. When they need it, I resole them. The best men who've ever worn shoes have stepped on what I've done.
flav: But then why aren't you in your shop today? Why are you leading these people through the streets?
cob: Well, it's partly to make them wear out their shoes so that I can have more business (wink, wink, nudge, nudge say no more). But really, we're going to see Caesar in his triumph.
mar: Why are you rejoicing? What sort of conquest did he make? What sort of people does have have following him, bound as slaves? You people are absolute MORONS. You jerks, did you even know Pompey(1)? You used to climb up anything you could--sit on rooftops with your children in your arms--and sat there ALL FREAKING DAY to see Pompey go through the streets of Rome. Then, when he passed by, didn't you yell so loudly that you'd think the entire city would come down with the echo of it? And now you put on your best clothes. And now, you make a holiday. And now, you throw rose petals at the feet of somebody who goes forward solely on Pompey's blood. GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE! Run to your houses, fall upon your knees, pray to the gods that they won't strike you down here and now for being such total idiots.
flav: Go, you people, and because of this, you should go down to the banks of the river and cry into it until it overflows the banks.
[commoners exit]
See if the stupidest among them isn't going to change his tune now. They can't even speak, they feel so guilty. Let's go onto the top of that hill where that temple of victors is, and take whatever Caesar's followers put on statues of him off of them.
mar: You think we should? It is during the feast of Lupercal(2).
flav: Who cares? Don't let anything of Caesar's have things on it. I'll be around, chasing the commoners out of the streets. You do the same thing. All these things we're doing to Caesar will make him be a normal man, who otherwise would be above us all and make us all servants.
[they exit]
(1)Historical significance: Pompey shared rule with Caesar & Crassus. After the alligence with the three of them went bye-bye, Caesar defeated him. He was later assassinated. The victory the people are talking about is Caesar's political victory in election over Pompey's sons. That's why Marullus is so heated.
(2) More historical stuff: Lupercalia is a little holiday celebrated sometime in February. Basically, it's a holiday of great merry making and such, based on something about keeping the wolves away. It's the predecessor of Valentine's Day. (information from holidays.com
Summary: Marulles and Flavius are on Pompey's side. Caesar just won some sort of political victory, and the people like him a lot.
Vocabulary:
intermit (v): withold.
mettle (n): disposition or temperment.
replication (n): a reply, an answer. Used here to mean an echo.
servile (adj): slaveishly submissive.